Meditations on the Code ~ a Star Wars fanfic
Title: Meditations on the Code
Author: Emma
emthejedichic
Fandom: Star Wars (Prequel Era: story in five sections scattered from the Jedi Apprentice series to RotS)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Qui-Gon/Tahl, Obi-Wan/Siri, Anakin/Padme
Summary: Five Jedi ponder the Code, and its relation to their lives... and loves.
Disclaimer: Not mine, yada yada, blah blah.
Major Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Tahl, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Siri Tachi, Anakin Skywalker
Minor Characters: Padme Amidala
I: Obi-Wan
* * *
There is no emotion, there is peace.
* * *
Obi-Wan had accepted this and the other tenets of the Code since he was a youngling, never questioning the wisdom of the Masters of generations ago. But now, for the first time in his life, he wondered if maybe they were wrong.
Without emotion, how could life exist? Was not compassion- essential to the life of a Jedi- an emotion in itself? Surely the Masters had known that emotion could bring happiness as well as pain. And perhaps, in the end, the happiness was worth the pain.
Ever since he had returned to the Order after Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan had striven to be a model Jedi. But he was in love with Siri Tachi. And the Jedi did not fall in love. Yet… he could not help it. Yes, it was forbidden, but he was not breaking the rules out of malice or spite. He was doing so because to not do so would tear him in two.
But Obi-Wan knew, deep inside, that this could not continue. That they would have to make a choice- each other, or the Order. The necessity of the choice was undeniable… yet to abandon one for the other was unthinkable.
* * *
There is no emotion, there is peace.
* * *
II: Tahl
* * *
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
* * *
Tahl wasn’t quite sure she believed that. She’d been around long enough to know that there was plenty of ignorance in the galaxy. Heck, there was plenty of ignorance right in the middle of things on Coruscant- you only had to go as far as the senate building to see that.
Perhaps that was unfair though, she allowed. The Code wasn’t meant to apply to the entire galaxy, merely to the Jedi themselves. And ignorance was pretty rare in the Order.
Or was it? Perhaps she, at least, was nowhere near as wise as she thought she was. Or else she’d have noticed that Qui-Gon’s overprotective tendencies were more than a simple desire to look out for a friend. Apparently she was more ignorant than she had thought.
* * *
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
* * *
III: Siri
* * *
There is no passion, there is serenity.
* * *
Siri had been told that since before she could walk. She’d always been “spirited”- that was how the crèche masters had put it, anyway. She’d always preferred to think of it as refusing to give up.
But now she had to give up. And she hated it. Without passion, what was the point of living? Sure, the calm, serene Masters who had perfected their Jedi detachment (her own Master was a prime example) were supposed to be a role model for them all. But it looked like an awful way to live. Secretly, Siri had never wanted to turn out like that. She’d always been different.
Like now, with Obi-Wan- stupid, wonderful, perfect Obi-Wan. She loved him, Force knew why. He loved her back. But their love- their passion- was forbidden. A tiny voice inside her was crying out that it wasn’t fair, that the Order and the Council and the Code shouldn’t be taking away her happiness. But that was the way it was. And so she would deny her love, would strive towards that cold, unfeeling ideal. And that little voice that she had always believed to be the voice of reason- the voice that told her that she and Obi-Wan deserved happiness- that voice would be crushed. It was the only way.
* * *
There is no passion, there is serenity.
* * *
IV: Anakin
* * *
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
* * *
This was obviously a lie. The entire Code was just a way of constricting people like him. Anakin knew that his power would be beyond measure by now, if the Council and Obi-Wan weren’t determined to hold him back.
There was plenty of chaos in the galaxy. In the Order, even. And the Council crushed those who had true potential, because they were afraid.
And well they should be, Anakin thought, for he was more powerful than any of them. Chaos? He had within his grasp the power to tear the galaxy apart if he wanted to.
And he would. Without hesitation. For Padme. Harmony seemed like a very, very small price to pay to ensure her safety, to ensure that she would not leave him. Because he was Anakin Skywalker- no, he was Darth Vader, and he would not allow that to happen.
* * *
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
* * *
V: Qui-Gon
* * *
There is no death, there is the Force.
* * *
If ever there was a tenet of the Code that applied to Qui-Gon Jinn, it was this one. He often though that this was ironic, as he was not the first to achieve eternal life. No, it had been Tahl. The moment he realized that it had been her who had spoken to him, who had brought him back from the brink, he had known that she had done it.
There is no death- that was not meant to be taken literally, Qui-Gon knew. Much of the Code was metaphorical. Rather, it assured that, in death, fallen companions would become one with the Force.
Tahl had not been the first friend Qui-Gon lost. He had been to his share of funerals, seen more than a few friends burn into ash on the pyre. But her death- it had changed him. The moment that the light had faded from her eyes, he had known that he would never be the same. Age old Jedi wisdom- and even the Force itself- had been no comfort.
* * *
There is no death, there is the Force.
* * *
Remember: the comments, they are love! :)
Author: Emma
emthejedichic
Fandom: Star Wars (Prequel Era: story in five sections scattered from the Jedi Apprentice series to RotS)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Qui-Gon/Tahl, Obi-Wan/Siri, Anakin/Padme
Summary: Five Jedi ponder the Code, and its relation to their lives... and loves.
Disclaimer: Not mine, yada yada, blah blah.
Major Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Tahl, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Siri Tachi, Anakin Skywalker
Minor Characters: Padme Amidala
I: Obi-Wan
* * *
There is no emotion, there is peace.
* * *
Obi-Wan had accepted this and the other tenets of the Code since he was a youngling, never questioning the wisdom of the Masters of generations ago. But now, for the first time in his life, he wondered if maybe they were wrong.
Without emotion, how could life exist? Was not compassion- essential to the life of a Jedi- an emotion in itself? Surely the Masters had known that emotion could bring happiness as well as pain. And perhaps, in the end, the happiness was worth the pain.
Ever since he had returned to the Order after Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan had striven to be a model Jedi. But he was in love with Siri Tachi. And the Jedi did not fall in love. Yet… he could not help it. Yes, it was forbidden, but he was not breaking the rules out of malice or spite. He was doing so because to not do so would tear him in two.
But Obi-Wan knew, deep inside, that this could not continue. That they would have to make a choice- each other, or the Order. The necessity of the choice was undeniable… yet to abandon one for the other was unthinkable.
* * *
There is no emotion, there is peace.
* * *
II: Tahl
* * *
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
* * *
Tahl wasn’t quite sure she believed that. She’d been around long enough to know that there was plenty of ignorance in the galaxy. Heck, there was plenty of ignorance right in the middle of things on Coruscant- you only had to go as far as the senate building to see that.
Perhaps that was unfair though, she allowed. The Code wasn’t meant to apply to the entire galaxy, merely to the Jedi themselves. And ignorance was pretty rare in the Order.
Or was it? Perhaps she, at least, was nowhere near as wise as she thought she was. Or else she’d have noticed that Qui-Gon’s overprotective tendencies were more than a simple desire to look out for a friend. Apparently she was more ignorant than she had thought.
* * *
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
* * *
III: Siri
* * *
There is no passion, there is serenity.
* * *
Siri had been told that since before she could walk. She’d always been “spirited”- that was how the crèche masters had put it, anyway. She’d always preferred to think of it as refusing to give up.
But now she had to give up. And she hated it. Without passion, what was the point of living? Sure, the calm, serene Masters who had perfected their Jedi detachment (her own Master was a prime example) were supposed to be a role model for them all. But it looked like an awful way to live. Secretly, Siri had never wanted to turn out like that. She’d always been different.
Like now, with Obi-Wan- stupid, wonderful, perfect Obi-Wan. She loved him, Force knew why. He loved her back. But their love- their passion- was forbidden. A tiny voice inside her was crying out that it wasn’t fair, that the Order and the Council and the Code shouldn’t be taking away her happiness. But that was the way it was. And so she would deny her love, would strive towards that cold, unfeeling ideal. And that little voice that she had always believed to be the voice of reason- the voice that told her that she and Obi-Wan deserved happiness- that voice would be crushed. It was the only way.
* * *
There is no passion, there is serenity.
* * *
IV: Anakin
* * *
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
* * *
This was obviously a lie. The entire Code was just a way of constricting people like him. Anakin knew that his power would be beyond measure by now, if the Council and Obi-Wan weren’t determined to hold him back.
There was plenty of chaos in the galaxy. In the Order, even. And the Council crushed those who had true potential, because they were afraid.
And well they should be, Anakin thought, for he was more powerful than any of them. Chaos? He had within his grasp the power to tear the galaxy apart if he wanted to.
And he would. Without hesitation. For Padme. Harmony seemed like a very, very small price to pay to ensure her safety, to ensure that she would not leave him. Because he was Anakin Skywalker- no, he was Darth Vader, and he would not allow that to happen.
* * *
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
* * *
V: Qui-Gon
* * *
There is no death, there is the Force.
* * *
If ever there was a tenet of the Code that applied to Qui-Gon Jinn, it was this one. He often though that this was ironic, as he was not the first to achieve eternal life. No, it had been Tahl. The moment he realized that it had been her who had spoken to him, who had brought him back from the brink, he had known that she had done it.
There is no death- that was not meant to be taken literally, Qui-Gon knew. Much of the Code was metaphorical. Rather, it assured that, in death, fallen companions would become one with the Force.
Tahl had not been the first friend Qui-Gon lost. He had been to his share of funerals, seen more than a few friends burn into ash on the pyre. But her death- it had changed him. The moment that the light had faded from her eyes, he had known that he would never be the same. Age old Jedi wisdom- and even the Force itself- had been no comfort.
* * *
There is no death, there is the Force.
* * *
Remember: the comments, they are love! :)