Castle Fic: What Matters Most
Title: What Matters Most
Fandom: Castle
Author: Em aka Old Romantic
Rating/Warnings: PG/T - for some mild language and mild sexual content
Genre/Pairings/Characters: Romance, Fluff / Castle/Beckett, with everyone else thrown in.
Spoilers/Timeline: AU after 4x17 - Once Upon a Crime, Future Fic
Disclaimer: *checks all available accounts and wallets and change jars and finds dust bunnies* Nope, no money being made here. I only own the idea for this plot, though if TPTB decide to steal it, film it, and put it on the show without paying me, I won’t complain one bit. :)
Summary: She didn’t know it was happening, that she was falling in love; she was just doing what felt right, and he was letting her.
A/N: This is just something that came to me as I was again watching the end of Once Upon a Crime. I’ve glazed over the timing details so as not to pinpoint this fic to a specific date. If I’m off on something, just…go with it.
Dedicated to my newest betas (on FFN), Katrina and Dana Katherine. Thank you so much for your help!
Enjoy! :)
- - - - - - - - - -
1/3
Kate wasn’t sure when it had happened, when she found herself leaving the courthouse an extremely happy, married woman, surrounded by family and friends. But it had somehow. It was all sort of a blur. When she thought back, there were a few moments along the way that seemed like stepping stones over the river of life, as she and Castle crossed over to the other side, from friends and partners and a writer and his muse to something deeper, more intimate; to love itself.
Like the first time she reached for his hand and didn’t take it back. His mother was going through her one-woman show in Castle’s living room, and when one of her lines seemed to insult Rick right after another that had acknowledged him in the sweetest way, Kate grabbed his hand, hoping to give him some friendly comfort. Castle had accepted it with all the grace of a man who’d resigned himself to being “just friends,” though his confession of love some months earlier was still on Kate’s mind every hour of each day. Somehow she knew she’d tell him she knew, but later, when she was ready to return such a complimentary sentiment.
Still, her hand remained in his.
Soon, hand-holding became a regular occurrence, though when that began, Kate cannot pinpoint. It just happened occasionally, like when they’d be on their way out a door, Kate would hesitate to allow someone else through, and as soon as they passed, Castle would grab her hand and pull her through. He wouldn’t let go and neither would she, but it wasn’t a conscious effort. It just seemed natural. Sometimes they’d be walking over some unstable ground to a crime scene, and Castle, being the more clumsy of the two, would need her steadying hand. The first time Kate realized they hadn’t let go their hands upon reaching ground zero of their crime scene was when Lanie had posed the teasing question, “Since when did you two get surgically attached?”
They’d let go quickly that time, with Kate joking that Castle couldn’t handle walking in his two-hundred-dollar shoes over tree roots while talking and carrying his coffee. It had worked to change the subject, but the fact remained that something was changing between them.
And it wasn’t like they were holding hands as lovers would, with their fingers intertwined. It was always palms and fingers together, more like close friends or siblings or how a father might hold his daughter’s hand. The thought of that comparison didn’t bode well with Kate, however, and for a short time, she made sure not to touch Castle in any way.
The next time it happened unbeknownst to her was on a dinner date with Rick. After closing a case and losing a bet with her in the process, Castle had insisted he pay up by taking her his favorite restaurant. It was when they were getting out of the car by the valet booth that it happened. Kate waited as Rick circled the car and opened her door, allowing him to take her hand and help her up out of the low seat. She was wearing her new favorite red dress and black stilettos, so she’d easily accepted the help. But why didn’t she let go as they walked inside together?
She also recalled smiling rather widely that night when the maitre ‘d thought she couldn’t hear when he told Castle he had a beautiful girlfriend. Castle didn’t bother correcting him, and for the first time, neither did she.
But it did make for some interesting conversation over their table for two that evening.
“Girlfriend, huh?” Kate teased once the waiter had left with their drink order.
“Yeah? So? You’re a girl and a friend. Therefore: ‘girlfriend’.”
Her eyebrows wanted to raise, and she tried to hold back her smile. She failed at stopping either. “But in the real world, that simple word has a different kind of implication altogether.”
“Not if I was a woman. Or gay. And just why is it that men can’t have women as ‘girlfriends’ without it being assumed that they’re lovers too?”
“I don’t know,” Kate chuckled. “But if someone could find a way to debunk that misconception, it’d be you.”
After that, she didn’t mind it that he introduced her as his girlfriend, though it should’ve. She just pretended it didn’t mean what it really did, to both of them.
That next Friday, when neither of them had any other plans, they made plans with each other. A new John Grisham book had been made into another movie, and despite all his complaints and envy of the other author’s success, Castle had wanted to see what the on-screen tales of Nikki Heat were competing against. Ryan and Esposito had teased them that they were dating, but they waved off their ribbing with assurances that they were “just friends,” “just seeing a movie together,” “just this once.”
And it was just another friendly date that ended in separate bedrooms, in separate apartments. But soon, every Friday night was another opportunity to fib about why they were spending it together.
Movies and dinners out turned into movies and dinners in. Sometimes he’d pick the movie and the place, bringing dinner to her apartment when it was his turn, and other times, she was the one to make the decisions. Castle knew that she liked Orange Chicken from Chang Foo’s; she knew his vice was the chocolate cake from Monk’s. And each of them made the other happy. It seemed to Kate that was all that mattered.
---
She wasn’t sure when these casual evenings spent together turned into comfortable ones, but over time, she’d find that at the end of the evening, she’d been curled up by his side in her sock feet and sweats, head on his shoulder, his arm snugly around her. He was warm and soft and smelled of pine and mint, which she assumed was the aftershave he chose each day. He’d been with her so long, the scent just smelled like Rick.
Kate did, however, remember the first time she asked Rick to stay the night. It wasn’t like she wanted to have sex; on the contrary, she was just so comfortable against him that she didn’t want to move. The movie was over, Rick had turned the TV off with the remote and suggested he should go because she was tired -- nearly asleep on his chest -- and she’d mumbled, “No, don’t go. Please.”
It didn’t take him much to agree. “Okay,” he’d whispered against her hair. He grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch to cover them both and kissed her head to say goodnight. When she awoke in the morning, she’d felt so refreshed. She remembers smiling when she saw how he was sleeping with his head on the back of the couch, his face toward the ceiling, and his mouth wide open. She also remembers how much she’d wanted to kiss him awake and resisted the urge.
Instead, she’d lifted his head and put a pillow under it, pleased when it worked to close his mouth, proving that it was more comfortable for him. Then she went back to sleep for another hour, glad for the fact that it was Saturday, and she didn’t have to be anywhere all day long.
By the time he’d awakened, she had a full breakfast cooking just like that time she’d stayed at his apartment. But this time, it wasn’t interrupted by work. She laughs now at how silly they were, feeding each other bacon and still pretending they were “just friends.”
Within weeks, spending the night became a regular occurrence, though neither of them ever initiated wanting more. Kate or Rick would merely be too tired to go home, and spending the night seemed like the better option. Usually they’d sleep together in the sense that they’d share the couch. They grew wise to how bad positioning would lead to back or neck pain the next day, so they’d plan ahead and lay down lengthwise on the couch, with Rick’s head on the armrest and Kate’s on his chest.
The first time Martha caught them like that, when she came in late one night, led to much discussion neither Rick or Kate was prepared to handle. “I don’t know why we like just sleeping on the couch together, Mother,” he’d proclaimed over their usual big Saturday breakfast on the bar. “We just,” he shrugged, casting a glance at Kate who was in obvious agreement, “do.”
Martha had shaken her head, as if realizing there was no convincing these two otherwise. “You know what this is leading to, don’t you? Heartache,” she’d answered her own question without hesitation. “If you two don’t accept that you love each other, and that there’s more to this than just some close friendship you keep leaning on, one day, when one of you wants more, and goes out to find it, you’ll both get hurt.”
Kate and Rick had looked at each other then, but neither of them thought it to be true. “No,” he shook his head.
Kate added, “We’re being careful, Martha. We’re just enjoying being close without being intimate.”
Martha walked away then with a shake of her head and a wave of her hand, as if sensing their impending doom. “I suppose I’ll be here to pick up the pieces when it all comes crashing down on you.”
“Good to know, Mom,” Castle had called out, feeding Kate a bite of the most perfect omelet he’d ever made.
---
Their first kiss had happened nearly a year before, so it didn’t seem as big of a deal when it became a good way to hide in plain sight while on a case. They were looking for a suspect in a bar one night when it became clear from the whispers around them that Kate looked too much like a cop. She’d dragged Castle out in the alley, then, hoping to fix her hair and style her clothing into something a little more sexy, when the suspect appeared outside with them. “Oh, crap,” she’d mumbled. “Castle, kiss me,” she then pleaded in a whisper, pulling him against her as she leaned against the brick wall behind her.
He did, and they kissed long and hard, feeling as though they were coming back together after a long time apart. Being so lost in his lips, she nearly lost sight of the suspect again. But when she pushed Castle away to pull her gun, it was done in a fluid motion, taking the suspect by total surprise.
The next time was on a stakeout. One moment, they were sipping cold coffee and holding binoculars; the next, when the subject walked right past their car, they were lip-locked and as close as they could get over the middle console.
It did occur to Castle to talk about their on-the-job kissing that night. “Is this…typical? I mean, have you and Espo or Ryan…?”
“God, no, Castle,” she’d balked. “No, we always take the consequences when we get caught. But I like this better -- it brings about a faster conclusion to our cases, and much less chasing after the suspect.” She cast a glance his way. “Does it bother you?”
“No,” he shook his head, and she heard the honesty in his voice. “Not a bit, which is…odd. Shouldn’t we be freaking out about what this means to our friendship? Isn’t that what typically happens at this stage?”
“I wouldn’t know, I guess,” she’d replied humorously, peering through the binoculars again, noting that the suspect was closing the blinds on the window they were watching. “But I like that we’re comfortable enough with each other that we can handle it without launching off into some big discussion about it.”
“So do I,” he concurred. He picked up his own binoculars just in time to see the lights go out on the subject’s motel room. “It’s a good thing we’re already used to spending the night together,” he joked, gesturing to the window several hundred yards in front of them. “I’ll bet it’s going to be a long one.”
Soon, kissing hello or goodbye became the norm. After a particularly lovely day spent together with his family, Kate had felt so much a part of it that she leaned up and kissed his cheek before she headed home. “Thank you, Castle,” she’d said emphatically, knowing he’d understand the depth of her words. He showed up at her apartment that night with a pizza, just the way she liked it. She kissed his cheek again, and suddenly, it became tradition.
She remembered the first time she missed his cheek. He’d come in with his hands full of groceries -- knowing she needed some things so that he could make a proper breakfast for her the next morning -- and they’d tried to give their usual, casual kiss hello, when their lips met. After the unexpected peck, they stared at one another…and then chuckled. “Oops,” Kate had joked with one of the bags in hand. Laughing it off had helped it to feel more natural when they kissed goodbye the next morning at her door.
After that, a peck on the lips would happen at the beginning or end of a date, and it didn’t happen every time -- just when it seemed like the thing to do. Rick would stop by her apartment to pick her up, she’d greet him with a peck on the lips as he came inside. At the end of the night, same thing, only this was usually accompanied with a following hug. Nothing big happened, no fireworks went off, it was just…comfortable.
Castle stopped meeting her at the precinct with her coffee, coming earlier to her apartment with her cup instead, and the two would drive to and from work together. They were so into their routine that the first evening Kate had to stay late to work on paperwork, and he leaned in to kiss her goodbye, Ryan, at his desk, nearly had a fit. Esposito’s back was turned, but he was soon clued in by his partner, and the two of them rushed over to clarify the situation.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, how long has this been going on?” Esposito asked. “I mean, we figured it’d happen someday; we just thought you’d let us know when it was happening.”
Ryan agreed with a nod. “Yeah, and be sure to mention the specific date -- I had March 21st in the office pool.”
Castle and Beckett were a little puzzled at first, glancing at each other dumbly.
“The kiss I just saw,” Ryan prodded, his voice-pitch high. “Hello, how long have the two of you been an item?” he enunciated.
“Oh,” Kate came to life first. “We’re not, Ryan. We’re just friends.”
“Just friends, my ass,” Esposito declared. “Since when do you kiss just friends, Beckett? ‘Cuz, as I recall, you and I have been friends for nearly a decade, and…I’ve never gotten a kiss from you.”
She leveled a look at him. “It’s no big deal, Javi. We’re not dating, we’re not in love, not engaged or getting married, we’re just…” she stared at Castle for help.
“Together,” Castle finished for her. “But just as friends. Close friends.”
The boys were both confused. Ryan asked, “So, you’re not…sleeping together or shopping around for wedding rings?”
“No,” Castle laughed. Kate joined him with a wide grin, a roll of her eyes, and a shake of her head. But then Castle added, “I mean, we have technically ‘slept together,’ but not in the sense to which you’re referring.”
“Whoa,” Javi took a step closer. “You guys are sleeping together without sex? That’s messed up, right there.”
“Yeah,” Ryan concurred, his face frozen in a disgusted sort of shock. “I’m seriously glad Jenny didn’t want to settle for that kind of relationship.”
Javi nodded in agreement, and Kate shrugged one shoulder. “It works for us. I don’t know, guys; it just…feels right.”
“Don’t get me wrong,” Castle added for the boys’ benefit, “I do miss the sex.”
Kate rolled her eyes again. “Castle.”
“What? I am a guy.”
“Yeah, well, when you figure out a way to have meaningless sex--”
Their eyes met, and suddenly, it seemed like a possibility.
Ryan broke the long pause. “Oh, this reminds me of that Seinfeld episode. If they start talking about trying to have ‘this, that, and the other,’ I’m out of here.”
Keeping his eyes on the couple, Esposito leaned over to Ryan to say, “Let’s just go now.”
And the two walked away, leaving Beckett and Castle flummoxed for conversation. “Were you serious?” Castle asked first.
She was glad the precinct was mostly empty. “I didn’t think I was, but…” she let out a breath. “I miss sex, too, Castle.”
“Yeah, but is that something we could…do? I mean, what if my mother was right and we only hurt ourselves by pretending there isn’t something more going on?”
“Is there something more going on? Do you still…love me?”
He absorbed her question for a long moment, staring into her eyes. “Still? Kate, d-did you…do you remember me ever saying that?”
She dropped her gaze to the floor, shaking her head slightly. “I never forgot.” She sighed at herself and squeezed her eyes closed. “I lied; I’m sorry.”
Just when she thought a good scolding was headed her way, she found instead she was being tugged straight into his arms. Castle spoke quietly into her ear. “Then, since you know how I feel, you should know by now that I’ll take whatever I can get with you. I’ll do whatever you want to make you happy. The question is: how much do you want?”
She pulled away and looked up at him. “Right now, I just want what we’ve had. Maybe we can discuss something more, but…I don’t know. Just give me a few days to think it over.”
“Friday night? Your place? You pick the movie; I’ll bring Chang Foo’s.”
She smiled. “I know you will.” She squeezed his hand, not realizing until that moment she was holding it. “You’re a dependable man, Rick. I didn’t expect that when I first met you.”
“I’m also obviously very patient,” he joked, making her slap his arm with her free hand. “Just thought I’d mention that.” Their chuckle dying down, he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
She nodded and accepted his light kiss. “Don’t forget my coffee.”
“Have I ever?” he asked as he took the first steps toward the elevator.
The smile wouldn’t leave her face. “No, you haven’t.”
---
A/N: So, obviously, there are 2 more parts to this. I'll post the next one or both tomorrow...provided I haven't hacked up a lung by then. *cough cough*
Fandom: Castle
Author: Em aka Old Romantic
Rating/Warnings: PG/T - for some mild language and mild sexual content
Genre/Pairings/Characters: Romance, Fluff / Castle/Beckett, with everyone else thrown in.
Spoilers/Timeline: AU after 4x17 - Once Upon a Crime, Future Fic
Disclaimer: *checks all available accounts and wallets and change jars and finds dust bunnies* Nope, no money being made here. I only own the idea for this plot, though if TPTB decide to steal it, film it, and put it on the show without paying me, I won’t complain one bit. :)
Summary: She didn’t know it was happening, that she was falling in love; she was just doing what felt right, and he was letting her.
A/N: This is just something that came to me as I was again watching the end of Once Upon a Crime. I’ve glazed over the timing details so as not to pinpoint this fic to a specific date. If I’m off on something, just…go with it.
Dedicated to my newest betas (on FFN), Katrina and Dana Katherine. Thank you so much for your help!
Enjoy! :)
- - - - - - - - - -
1/3
Kate wasn’t sure when it had happened, when she found herself leaving the courthouse an extremely happy, married woman, surrounded by family and friends. But it had somehow. It was all sort of a blur. When she thought back, there were a few moments along the way that seemed like stepping stones over the river of life, as she and Castle crossed over to the other side, from friends and partners and a writer and his muse to something deeper, more intimate; to love itself.
Like the first time she reached for his hand and didn’t take it back. His mother was going through her one-woman show in Castle’s living room, and when one of her lines seemed to insult Rick right after another that had acknowledged him in the sweetest way, Kate grabbed his hand, hoping to give him some friendly comfort. Castle had accepted it with all the grace of a man who’d resigned himself to being “just friends,” though his confession of love some months earlier was still on Kate’s mind every hour of each day. Somehow she knew she’d tell him she knew, but later, when she was ready to return such a complimentary sentiment.
Still, her hand remained in his.
Soon, hand-holding became a regular occurrence, though when that began, Kate cannot pinpoint. It just happened occasionally, like when they’d be on their way out a door, Kate would hesitate to allow someone else through, and as soon as they passed, Castle would grab her hand and pull her through. He wouldn’t let go and neither would she, but it wasn’t a conscious effort. It just seemed natural. Sometimes they’d be walking over some unstable ground to a crime scene, and Castle, being the more clumsy of the two, would need her steadying hand. The first time Kate realized they hadn’t let go their hands upon reaching ground zero of their crime scene was when Lanie had posed the teasing question, “Since when did you two get surgically attached?”
They’d let go quickly that time, with Kate joking that Castle couldn’t handle walking in his two-hundred-dollar shoes over tree roots while talking and carrying his coffee. It had worked to change the subject, but the fact remained that something was changing between them.
And it wasn’t like they were holding hands as lovers would, with their fingers intertwined. It was always palms and fingers together, more like close friends or siblings or how a father might hold his daughter’s hand. The thought of that comparison didn’t bode well with Kate, however, and for a short time, she made sure not to touch Castle in any way.
The next time it happened unbeknownst to her was on a dinner date with Rick. After closing a case and losing a bet with her in the process, Castle had insisted he pay up by taking her his favorite restaurant. It was when they were getting out of the car by the valet booth that it happened. Kate waited as Rick circled the car and opened her door, allowing him to take her hand and help her up out of the low seat. She was wearing her new favorite red dress and black stilettos, so she’d easily accepted the help. But why didn’t she let go as they walked inside together?
She also recalled smiling rather widely that night when the maitre ‘d thought she couldn’t hear when he told Castle he had a beautiful girlfriend. Castle didn’t bother correcting him, and for the first time, neither did she.
But it did make for some interesting conversation over their table for two that evening.
“Girlfriend, huh?” Kate teased once the waiter had left with their drink order.
“Yeah? So? You’re a girl and a friend. Therefore: ‘girlfriend’.”
Her eyebrows wanted to raise, and she tried to hold back her smile. She failed at stopping either. “But in the real world, that simple word has a different kind of implication altogether.”
“Not if I was a woman. Or gay. And just why is it that men can’t have women as ‘girlfriends’ without it being assumed that they’re lovers too?”
“I don’t know,” Kate chuckled. “But if someone could find a way to debunk that misconception, it’d be you.”
After that, she didn’t mind it that he introduced her as his girlfriend, though it should’ve. She just pretended it didn’t mean what it really did, to both of them.
That next Friday, when neither of them had any other plans, they made plans with each other. A new John Grisham book had been made into another movie, and despite all his complaints and envy of the other author’s success, Castle had wanted to see what the on-screen tales of Nikki Heat were competing against. Ryan and Esposito had teased them that they were dating, but they waved off their ribbing with assurances that they were “just friends,” “just seeing a movie together,” “just this once.”
And it was just another friendly date that ended in separate bedrooms, in separate apartments. But soon, every Friday night was another opportunity to fib about why they were spending it together.
Movies and dinners out turned into movies and dinners in. Sometimes he’d pick the movie and the place, bringing dinner to her apartment when it was his turn, and other times, she was the one to make the decisions. Castle knew that she liked Orange Chicken from Chang Foo’s; she knew his vice was the chocolate cake from Monk’s. And each of them made the other happy. It seemed to Kate that was all that mattered.
---
She wasn’t sure when these casual evenings spent together turned into comfortable ones, but over time, she’d find that at the end of the evening, she’d been curled up by his side in her sock feet and sweats, head on his shoulder, his arm snugly around her. He was warm and soft and smelled of pine and mint, which she assumed was the aftershave he chose each day. He’d been with her so long, the scent just smelled like Rick.
Kate did, however, remember the first time she asked Rick to stay the night. It wasn’t like she wanted to have sex; on the contrary, she was just so comfortable against him that she didn’t want to move. The movie was over, Rick had turned the TV off with the remote and suggested he should go because she was tired -- nearly asleep on his chest -- and she’d mumbled, “No, don’t go. Please.”
It didn’t take him much to agree. “Okay,” he’d whispered against her hair. He grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch to cover them both and kissed her head to say goodnight. When she awoke in the morning, she’d felt so refreshed. She remembers smiling when she saw how he was sleeping with his head on the back of the couch, his face toward the ceiling, and his mouth wide open. She also remembers how much she’d wanted to kiss him awake and resisted the urge.
Instead, she’d lifted his head and put a pillow under it, pleased when it worked to close his mouth, proving that it was more comfortable for him. Then she went back to sleep for another hour, glad for the fact that it was Saturday, and she didn’t have to be anywhere all day long.
By the time he’d awakened, she had a full breakfast cooking just like that time she’d stayed at his apartment. But this time, it wasn’t interrupted by work. She laughs now at how silly they were, feeding each other bacon and still pretending they were “just friends.”
Within weeks, spending the night became a regular occurrence, though neither of them ever initiated wanting more. Kate or Rick would merely be too tired to go home, and spending the night seemed like the better option. Usually they’d sleep together in the sense that they’d share the couch. They grew wise to how bad positioning would lead to back or neck pain the next day, so they’d plan ahead and lay down lengthwise on the couch, with Rick’s head on the armrest and Kate’s on his chest.
The first time Martha caught them like that, when she came in late one night, led to much discussion neither Rick or Kate was prepared to handle. “I don’t know why we like just sleeping on the couch together, Mother,” he’d proclaimed over their usual big Saturday breakfast on the bar. “We just,” he shrugged, casting a glance at Kate who was in obvious agreement, “do.”
Martha had shaken her head, as if realizing there was no convincing these two otherwise. “You know what this is leading to, don’t you? Heartache,” she’d answered her own question without hesitation. “If you two don’t accept that you love each other, and that there’s more to this than just some close friendship you keep leaning on, one day, when one of you wants more, and goes out to find it, you’ll both get hurt.”
Kate and Rick had looked at each other then, but neither of them thought it to be true. “No,” he shook his head.
Kate added, “We’re being careful, Martha. We’re just enjoying being close without being intimate.”
Martha walked away then with a shake of her head and a wave of her hand, as if sensing their impending doom. “I suppose I’ll be here to pick up the pieces when it all comes crashing down on you.”
“Good to know, Mom,” Castle had called out, feeding Kate a bite of the most perfect omelet he’d ever made.
---
Their first kiss had happened nearly a year before, so it didn’t seem as big of a deal when it became a good way to hide in plain sight while on a case. They were looking for a suspect in a bar one night when it became clear from the whispers around them that Kate looked too much like a cop. She’d dragged Castle out in the alley, then, hoping to fix her hair and style her clothing into something a little more sexy, when the suspect appeared outside with them. “Oh, crap,” she’d mumbled. “Castle, kiss me,” she then pleaded in a whisper, pulling him against her as she leaned against the brick wall behind her.
He did, and they kissed long and hard, feeling as though they were coming back together after a long time apart. Being so lost in his lips, she nearly lost sight of the suspect again. But when she pushed Castle away to pull her gun, it was done in a fluid motion, taking the suspect by total surprise.
The next time was on a stakeout. One moment, they were sipping cold coffee and holding binoculars; the next, when the subject walked right past their car, they were lip-locked and as close as they could get over the middle console.
It did occur to Castle to talk about their on-the-job kissing that night. “Is this…typical? I mean, have you and Espo or Ryan…?”
“God, no, Castle,” she’d balked. “No, we always take the consequences when we get caught. But I like this better -- it brings about a faster conclusion to our cases, and much less chasing after the suspect.” She cast a glance his way. “Does it bother you?”
“No,” he shook his head, and she heard the honesty in his voice. “Not a bit, which is…odd. Shouldn’t we be freaking out about what this means to our friendship? Isn’t that what typically happens at this stage?”
“I wouldn’t know, I guess,” she’d replied humorously, peering through the binoculars again, noting that the suspect was closing the blinds on the window they were watching. “But I like that we’re comfortable enough with each other that we can handle it without launching off into some big discussion about it.”
“So do I,” he concurred. He picked up his own binoculars just in time to see the lights go out on the subject’s motel room. “It’s a good thing we’re already used to spending the night together,” he joked, gesturing to the window several hundred yards in front of them. “I’ll bet it’s going to be a long one.”
Soon, kissing hello or goodbye became the norm. After a particularly lovely day spent together with his family, Kate had felt so much a part of it that she leaned up and kissed his cheek before she headed home. “Thank you, Castle,” she’d said emphatically, knowing he’d understand the depth of her words. He showed up at her apartment that night with a pizza, just the way she liked it. She kissed his cheek again, and suddenly, it became tradition.
She remembered the first time she missed his cheek. He’d come in with his hands full of groceries -- knowing she needed some things so that he could make a proper breakfast for her the next morning -- and they’d tried to give their usual, casual kiss hello, when their lips met. After the unexpected peck, they stared at one another…and then chuckled. “Oops,” Kate had joked with one of the bags in hand. Laughing it off had helped it to feel more natural when they kissed goodbye the next morning at her door.
After that, a peck on the lips would happen at the beginning or end of a date, and it didn’t happen every time -- just when it seemed like the thing to do. Rick would stop by her apartment to pick her up, she’d greet him with a peck on the lips as he came inside. At the end of the night, same thing, only this was usually accompanied with a following hug. Nothing big happened, no fireworks went off, it was just…comfortable.
Castle stopped meeting her at the precinct with her coffee, coming earlier to her apartment with her cup instead, and the two would drive to and from work together. They were so into their routine that the first evening Kate had to stay late to work on paperwork, and he leaned in to kiss her goodbye, Ryan, at his desk, nearly had a fit. Esposito’s back was turned, but he was soon clued in by his partner, and the two of them rushed over to clarify the situation.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, how long has this been going on?” Esposito asked. “I mean, we figured it’d happen someday; we just thought you’d let us know when it was happening.”
Ryan agreed with a nod. “Yeah, and be sure to mention the specific date -- I had March 21st in the office pool.”
Castle and Beckett were a little puzzled at first, glancing at each other dumbly.
“The kiss I just saw,” Ryan prodded, his voice-pitch high. “Hello, how long have the two of you been an item?” he enunciated.
“Oh,” Kate came to life first. “We’re not, Ryan. We’re just friends.”
“Just friends, my ass,” Esposito declared. “Since when do you kiss just friends, Beckett? ‘Cuz, as I recall, you and I have been friends for nearly a decade, and…I’ve never gotten a kiss from you.”
She leveled a look at him. “It’s no big deal, Javi. We’re not dating, we’re not in love, not engaged or getting married, we’re just…” she stared at Castle for help.
“Together,” Castle finished for her. “But just as friends. Close friends.”
The boys were both confused. Ryan asked, “So, you’re not…sleeping together or shopping around for wedding rings?”
“No,” Castle laughed. Kate joined him with a wide grin, a roll of her eyes, and a shake of her head. But then Castle added, “I mean, we have technically ‘slept together,’ but not in the sense to which you’re referring.”
“Whoa,” Javi took a step closer. “You guys are sleeping together without sex? That’s messed up, right there.”
“Yeah,” Ryan concurred, his face frozen in a disgusted sort of shock. “I’m seriously glad Jenny didn’t want to settle for that kind of relationship.”
Javi nodded in agreement, and Kate shrugged one shoulder. “It works for us. I don’t know, guys; it just…feels right.”
“Don’t get me wrong,” Castle added for the boys’ benefit, “I do miss the sex.”
Kate rolled her eyes again. “Castle.”
“What? I am a guy.”
“Yeah, well, when you figure out a way to have meaningless sex--”
Their eyes met, and suddenly, it seemed like a possibility.
Ryan broke the long pause. “Oh, this reminds me of that Seinfeld episode. If they start talking about trying to have ‘this, that, and the other,’ I’m out of here.”
Keeping his eyes on the couple, Esposito leaned over to Ryan to say, “Let’s just go now.”
And the two walked away, leaving Beckett and Castle flummoxed for conversation. “Were you serious?” Castle asked first.
She was glad the precinct was mostly empty. “I didn’t think I was, but…” she let out a breath. “I miss sex, too, Castle.”
“Yeah, but is that something we could…do? I mean, what if my mother was right and we only hurt ourselves by pretending there isn’t something more going on?”
“Is there something more going on? Do you still…love me?”
He absorbed her question for a long moment, staring into her eyes. “Still? Kate, d-did you…do you remember me ever saying that?”
She dropped her gaze to the floor, shaking her head slightly. “I never forgot.” She sighed at herself and squeezed her eyes closed. “I lied; I’m sorry.”
Just when she thought a good scolding was headed her way, she found instead she was being tugged straight into his arms. Castle spoke quietly into her ear. “Then, since you know how I feel, you should know by now that I’ll take whatever I can get with you. I’ll do whatever you want to make you happy. The question is: how much do you want?”
She pulled away and looked up at him. “Right now, I just want what we’ve had. Maybe we can discuss something more, but…I don’t know. Just give me a few days to think it over.”
“Friday night? Your place? You pick the movie; I’ll bring Chang Foo’s.”
She smiled. “I know you will.” She squeezed his hand, not realizing until that moment she was holding it. “You’re a dependable man, Rick. I didn’t expect that when I first met you.”
“I’m also obviously very patient,” he joked, making her slap his arm with her free hand. “Just thought I’d mention that.” Their chuckle dying down, he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
She nodded and accepted his light kiss. “Don’t forget my coffee.”
“Have I ever?” he asked as he took the first steps toward the elevator.
The smile wouldn’t leave her face. “No, you haven’t.”
---
A/N: So, obviously, there are 2 more parts to this. I'll post the next one or both tomorrow...provided I haven't hacked up a lung by then. *cough cough*