where is your heart?
emotional couple days. woo. let me tell ya. tomorrow is christmas eve. i'm not ready with my presents. me and sarah and erin opened presents today. i loved everything that they gave me. and i hope they liked their stuff too. i didn't have a whole lotta money but i tried to make do. lol. last year i had lots of money and i had sooooo much fun spending it on everybody.
i'm in an odd mood. its kinda surreal (haha) that all of this is ACTUALLY happening. i started packing today. there are boxes everywhere. i'm actually reall tired of writing about boston. but i do have one thing to say about it all. i HATE when people tell me that i don't want to leave. its ok when you are joking but....when you are like "take it from someone that moved away from home....YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT" that just pisses me off. FIRST OF ALL!!!! who the hell are you to tell me what the hell i want to do!??! are you me?! NO! i am not some girl that will let a guy and/or friends be the reason i don't live my own life. DUDE....if that guy really loves you and those friends are really friends...they will be there when you get back. if they aren't...you shouldn't want them in your life anyway. live your life for you now. everything will fall into place later and you will be a lot happier. i feel like i'm preaching to a brick wall...or...to a computer screen. SECOND!!! do you have any idea where i'm going? do you know what i have dreamed about since i was a little girl?? do you know that going away from home now is going to lead me straight to my dream!?! i live for music. i am music. yeah it'll be cold and i won't know anyone but damnit i'm doing what i love. i'm not afraid of being alone for a while. ok well i am a little scared but i've always been a thrill seeker. bring it on bitch. there are so many things in my head. i'm sure a lot of you know how i'm feeling right now but...there are probably more that don't. its intense. i'm going to do this. and i'm not coming home until i have a degree in music. shit. i'm going crazy. my head is going crazy. five days. theres no going back now.
i'm in an odd mood. its kinda surreal (haha) that all of this is ACTUALLY happening. i started packing today. there are boxes everywhere. i'm actually reall tired of writing about boston. but i do have one thing to say about it all. i HATE when people tell me that i don't want to leave. its ok when you are joking but....when you are like "take it from someone that moved away from home....YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT" that just pisses me off. FIRST OF ALL!!!! who the hell are you to tell me what the hell i want to do!??! are you me?! NO! i am not some girl that will let a guy and/or friends be the reason i don't live my own life. DUDE....if that guy really loves you and those friends are really friends...they will be there when you get back. if they aren't...you shouldn't want them in your life anyway. live your life for you now. everything will fall into place later and you will be a lot happier. i feel like i'm preaching to a brick wall...or...to a computer screen. SECOND!!! do you have any idea where i'm going? do you know what i have dreamed about since i was a little girl?? do you know that going away from home now is going to lead me straight to my dream!?! i live for music. i am music. yeah it'll be cold and i won't know anyone but damnit i'm doing what i love. i'm not afraid of being alone for a while. ok well i am a little scared but i've always been a thrill seeker. bring it on bitch. there are so many things in my head. i'm sure a lot of you know how i'm feeling right now but...there are probably more that don't. its intense. i'm going to do this. and i'm not coming home until i have a degree in music. shit. i'm going crazy. my head is going crazy. five days. theres no going back now.