to, from, by mara
The Silly Little Girl on the Bench
A silly little girl sat alone on a bench. Her restless feet swayed; her little toes wiggled. She sat on her hands to keep them still and calm. All of a sudden, she panicked and cried frantically, "It's all in my head, it's all in my head! What if it's all in my head?" She repeated this words again, and then some more, rocking herself as she sat.
Then a voice from nowhere answered, "Of course dear, it's all in your head. Silly girl! Do you think love exists in the physical space between two people? Of course not! It's all in our heads. Our mating rituals have evolved that way".
She sat on the bench and pondered this. It's all in my head. It's all in my head and it's okay that way. I just have to pray that it's all in his head too. Otherwise, I'll look plain silly. "But what if it's not in his head, what if it's not in his head? I don't want to look and be plain silly."
"You're supposed to look plain silly, you silly little girl!" The voice heaved a loud enough sigh, "Do I have to tell you everything? You don't deserve to think you're in love if you're not willing to look plain silly."
The silly little girl sat on the bench some more to ponder this. She took out a small painted notebook the size of her hand (her hand was quite big) and carefully wrote the words down so she would remember, "You don't deserve to think you're in love if you're not willing to look plain silly."
Okay, so I love this boy dearly. I am a silly little girl for so doing. And it's all in my head. She repeated these words as she thought to herself. So what now, what now? What to do now? I think he knows for I told him so. It was a long time ago, but I remember that I did tell him so. What now? What then? Do I tell him again?
The voice she was hearing sounded impatient now, "Of course not! Silly little girl! Can you learn nothing for yourself? Always the questions, so many questions. My silly little girl, you don't do anything--"
"Don't do anything? Why? But-but I can't sit still all alone on my bench, my sad little bench. It drives me crazy not knowing if it's all in his head too. Why I can't do anything at all! I stay on my little bench and watch the buses go by. I watch the buses go by and wonder where he is. I wonder where he is and then wonder some more, not knowing if it's all in his head like it's all in my head," our silly little girl cried out. You can see the tears smarting in her little eyes.
This time, the voice spoke kindly, "My silly little girl, you must understand. Hard it may be but you really must wait. You said it yourself, you can do nothing at all! You love this boy dearly and it's all in your head. You must remain silly and wait in your bench."
I will say this but once so listen quite well. What you feel matters only to you."
"The silly little girl must wait on her bench. It doesn't matter how she feels, not even a little, not even at all. To wait is her choice as well as her curse," she sadly wrote the words in her small painted notebook as big as her hand.
And that was the story of our silly little girl, who may have been silly but who was not little at all.