Sadness...

[empyrealfantasy]

Apologies in advance for the Real Life entry... and especially what will likely be viewed as especially over-reacting and maudlin.

I am incredibly sad right now.

I have been refusing to speculate on this, because Buddy is far too loved to be gone.  I've mentioned it to Leslie and Sher, but not really gotten into it, trying to be optimistic despite my

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[empyrealfantasy]

Well, I know for certain he's outside somewhere, but... As for *where* outside... well, he could be anywhere. We live in a rather rural area. There are other houses around (it isn't farmland or anything), but there are 'empty' lots on either side of our house. Empty being 'covered unpassably in bushes and dune grass' and... ugh. Even in winter there's little chance of even walking through one, unless there's a deer path, and then you're still contending with painful branches and spiders and ticks and... eww.

I hold hope that he's just gotten locked in someone's garage or something silly like that... but even so, I know I am likely deluding myself. He was acting strange for long enough that there was probably something wrong with him, and the last time this happened he had to have an expensive surgery and he barely lived (and we were told he wouldn't be able to handle another). So I really wonder if he didn't know what was going on, sad though that is.

Now I have the onerous task of explaining it to my four-year-old, who already has a death complex. Oh man.

*snuggles* Thank you, sweetie, for the support. Honestly, it makes me feel so much better.