Video

[emptyyourself]

[...Talking squirrel. That is all.]I seem to have misplaced my mode of transportation

Comments

[yeerkwarveteran]

[Have a very richly dressed woman, bejeweled bodice-the whole nine yards.] How odd, a talking rodent.

[emptyyourself]

If you don't have a hat, I'm not interested. You don't appear to have the sort of attire which would allow pockets.

Or squirrels in pockets.

In fact, you seem more like the sort who would enjoy an enchanted peacock or, possibly, a plucky fieldmouse.

I am not a plucky fieldmouse.

[yeerkwarveteran]

Interested in what? I don't need an enchanted peacock or a fieldmouse.

[emptyyourself]

Interested in you.

I do not require a companion with all the finery of nobility and no hat.

[yeerkwarveteran]

I have no hat, strange rodent, because I have misplaced it.

[emptyyourself]

If you have misplaced your hat, you might very well misplace a squirrel who inhabits hats.

[yeerkwarveteran]

As though I would wish, to sully my hat with a rodent.

[emptyyourself]

You sully it well enough just by wearing it, my lady.

[yeerkwarveteran]

What a rude little creature you are. I hope something comes along and eats you.

[emptyyourself]

I hope you kiss a frog and find yourself with a nasty case of oral warts, you maladjusted, insufferable peabrain.

[yeerkwarveteran]

You insufferable little worm!

[She was held captive on a pirate ship. She was locked in a box! She wanted an adventure in the great wide somewhere and it all turned out wrong because she was unwilling to compromise or acknowledge other people's feelings and place in the world out of sheer naivete.

That's right kids. It's one of those Disney stories. Outside the line of trees, the world begins to dim.]

I have had a most trying day and when I simply attempt to inquire about the nature of someone's predicament they-they leap down my throat with false accusations and angry words! I am sorry for your companion, but if you have an attitude along those lines perhaps they abandoned you on purpose!

[emptyyourself]

On purpose?!

[HDU suggest a human would abandon an enchanted talking squirrel!]

Do you know how many young ladies of good breeding would be positively delighted to have a plucky, hat-dwelling squirrel for a companion? Do you?

Humans. You think the whole world revolves around you and your petty little problems. Well, allow me to put you in your place, biped: we outnumber you!

[yeerkwarveteran]

Of all of the ridiculous-

[The sun sinks below the horizon.]

Insane-

[She gulps. Loudly. Dramatically with a lady-like hand on her throat.]

[emptyyourself]

Oh, now what?

[yeerkwarveteran]

I do not. [gulp] chose to be dramatic [gulp] Mr. Squirrel.

[She contorts] Oh no..

[emptyyourself]

Well, you're being dramatic!