A Lot On My Mind...
I've screwed up once more! Last night I messed up a lot of things! My best friend is "very disappointed in me." And I'm sure Katie will be once I find the courage to inform her. That might be a while too cuz there's a lot that I have to tell her. Life is really hard right now. I want sooo bad to be on the right path in life. It's just harder than it seems. I constantly find myself going back to my past. I find myself reliving all of the stupid things that I did in high school. I just can't seem to escape my past and it's killing me. It's affecting my friendship with my best friend too. It's just really hard though...I can't seem to make myself be dedicated to anything. I'm afraid of committment. I'm afraid of being hurt once more. And I know you're probably thinking "Britney, it's all about faith and trust." Once more, it's a lot easier said than done. My friendship with my best friend isn't the greatest right now and it's really affecting every other aspect of my life. I don't know how to make things better with her though. There's just soo much that both of us are struggling with and it's difficult. I just don't know where to start...
So why don't we start with the whole school/money issue! Right now I have to pay a little over $100 for my speeding ticket, I have to pay for my plane ticket if I want to go back to Decatur this summer, I have to pay probably about $400-500 for my summer semester tuition, and around $1000 for my fall semester. My parents are making me pay for it b/c my mom is going back to college and she doesn't want to pay for both my school and her school...especially since her's is twice as much as mine! The point is there is a lack of money is my account!!! So I've been thinking the past few days...the military might be an option. It's something that I've thought about before but every time that I get serious about it I talk myself out of it. I just think it would be really good for me and my life. I need some discipline in my life obviously and what better way to get that? Also, it would pay for my college. I would be defending this awesome country that I live in and protecting each and every one of yall...I would be protecting the lives of my best friend, and everyone else close to me, all the people I don't even know. I just don't know what to do about it. It's something that I think that I want for my life but I'm not really sure about it yet. I'm praying about it and trying to figure out if it's what God has planned for my life. I would like yalls opinion though. If you think it would be good for me let me know. If you think it's not a good idea, let me know that also. I just want to know what my friends think. Don't hold back on me either...I really want to know what yall think. Just IM me @ Triplepolar leave a oomment on here, e-mail me, call me, or something. I would appreciate it! I love each and every one of my friends! To everyone that I've hurt, I'm sorry. Thanks for all everyone has done for me! Christy and Katie, yall have been awesome influences in my life! I love yall more than words can say!
So why don't we start with the whole school/money issue! Right now I have to pay a little over $100 for my speeding ticket, I have to pay for my plane ticket if I want to go back to Decatur this summer, I have to pay probably about $400-500 for my summer semester tuition, and around $1000 for my fall semester. My parents are making me pay for it b/c my mom is going back to college and she doesn't want to pay for both my school and her school...especially since her's is twice as much as mine! The point is there is a lack of money is my account!!! So I've been thinking the past few days...the military might be an option. It's something that I've thought about before but every time that I get serious about it I talk myself out of it. I just think it would be really good for me and my life. I need some discipline in my life obviously and what better way to get that? Also, it would pay for my college. I would be defending this awesome country that I live in and protecting each and every one of yall...I would be protecting the lives of my best friend, and everyone else close to me, all the people I don't even know. I just don't know what to do about it. It's something that I think that I want for my life but I'm not really sure about it yet. I'm praying about it and trying to figure out if it's what God has planned for my life. I would like yalls opinion though. If you think it would be good for me let me know. If you think it's not a good idea, let me know that also. I just want to know what my friends think. Don't hold back on me either...I really want to know what yall think. Just IM me @ Triplepolar leave a oomment on here, e-mail me, call me, or something. I would appreciate it! I love each and every one of my friends! To everyone that I've hurt, I'm sorry. Thanks for all everyone has done for me! Christy and Katie, yall have been awesome influences in my life! I love yall more than words can say!