Harder lessons; advanced curricula
It feels as though the low-hanging fruit of self-improvement/discovery have all been picked. Now the lessons are larger and much more painful - equivalent to the more epochal movements in my youth.
Decades of intimacy does not provide the kind of prognosticative abilities one would expect, especially when entering upon a new level or type of intimacy. In this specifically vague example, I found myself grossly unprepared for what I might find in those guarded sanctums of another's psyche or how to negotiate them. Failure takes many forms, many of which have no architect, yet I feel that I was drawn into a conspiracy of such a failure and have garnered at least half the culpability for my naivete. The impetuous to apportion blame is misguided. So, I am left with the wistful sadness of such a misstep and the losses incurred.
Likewise, the politics of business ventures and partnerships elude me. Such constant mistakes in the form of misreadings, misinterpretations, poorly chosen confidants, and general focus on cold numbers rather than the more nuanced social bonds that are really the heart of any company of men. Working hard is not enough. Producing is not enough. Growing, building, committing, are also not enough. Instead, I was recently advised that it is a game of proof tantamount to building a case for litigation. The hard work, production, growth, and commitment require tangible evidence so overwhelming that no reasonable mind can differ. That is to say, the truth is in the documentation, not the reality.
The simpleness of this revelation saddens me as it belies the trust I had foolishly expected. It seems that it is always foolish to expect someone to part with money on the basis of trust, even when the evidence is inconvenient, but there. Now I must ensure that the evidence is even more explicit so as to diminish the trust component or its role in our alliance.
In both cases, the surrogate of trust is common interest - where the cynical might conflate predictability and unity of interest with trust, and so destroy both constructs with one blow.
Decades of intimacy does not provide the kind of prognosticative abilities one would expect, especially when entering upon a new level or type of intimacy. In this specifically vague example, I found myself grossly unprepared for what I might find in those guarded sanctums of another's psyche or how to negotiate them. Failure takes many forms, many of which have no architect, yet I feel that I was drawn into a conspiracy of such a failure and have garnered at least half the culpability for my naivete. The impetuous to apportion blame is misguided. So, I am left with the wistful sadness of such a misstep and the losses incurred.
Likewise, the politics of business ventures and partnerships elude me. Such constant mistakes in the form of misreadings, misinterpretations, poorly chosen confidants, and general focus on cold numbers rather than the more nuanced social bonds that are really the heart of any company of men. Working hard is not enough. Producing is not enough. Growing, building, committing, are also not enough. Instead, I was recently advised that it is a game of proof tantamount to building a case for litigation. The hard work, production, growth, and commitment require tangible evidence so overwhelming that no reasonable mind can differ. That is to say, the truth is in the documentation, not the reality.
The simpleness of this revelation saddens me as it belies the trust I had foolishly expected. It seems that it is always foolish to expect someone to part with money on the basis of trust, even when the evidence is inconvenient, but there. Now I must ensure that the evidence is even more explicit so as to diminish the trust component or its role in our alliance.
In both cases, the surrogate of trust is common interest - where the cynical might conflate predictability and unity of interest with trust, and so destroy both constructs with one blow.