(no subject)
I finally fixed my itunes today. In the process I lost all of my playlists/playcounts etc. That feels appropriate.
New Years was a mess. I was a mess. I'd rather not elaborate but I will say that I am still recovering/dealing with the aftermath. I am lucky to have the friends that I do or things could have been much, much worse.
Myles and I are making a clean break. No contact for as long as it takes to let go. No more maybe in the future, no more messiness. The ultimate goal for however far into the future it takes is friendship. Letting go of that maybe is the hardest thing I've had to do so far. This boy really got in deep. It really is the only way though. Too bad it's taken me three years to figure out.
All of this has stirred up a lot of other issues. Issues with my gender, issues with body image. I still feel like I am trying to find my place within the queer community. I'm also trying to figure out where I stand with familial relationships, school, my future in general. I'm dealing with guilt, and with how to better care for my body. Quarter life crises, anyone?
For now I'm working on the small things- choosing classes, strengthening friendships, taking care of myself on a day to day basis. Hopefully the larger things will come with time. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
On a totally separate note does anyone want to go see the mountain goats with me in march?
New Years was a mess. I was a mess. I'd rather not elaborate but I will say that I am still recovering/dealing with the aftermath. I am lucky to have the friends that I do or things could have been much, much worse.
Myles and I are making a clean break. No contact for as long as it takes to let go. No more maybe in the future, no more messiness. The ultimate goal for however far into the future it takes is friendship. Letting go of that maybe is the hardest thing I've had to do so far. This boy really got in deep. It really is the only way though. Too bad it's taken me three years to figure out.
All of this has stirred up a lot of other issues. Issues with my gender, issues with body image. I still feel like I am trying to find my place within the queer community. I'm also trying to figure out where I stand with familial relationships, school, my future in general. I'm dealing with guilt, and with how to better care for my body. Quarter life crises, anyone?
For now I'm working on the small things- choosing classes, strengthening friendships, taking care of myself on a day to day basis. Hopefully the larger things will come with time. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
On a totally separate note does anyone want to go see the mountain goats with me in march?