(no subject)
I just got a really fucking sad phonecall from my sister. It's hard talking/thinking about things going on in my mom's house. The call woke me up and she was hysterical- all that she could get out was the word mom. I panicked, thinking she was in the hospital again and that I'd have no way to get over there. My mother had just picked a particularly malicious fight with her. It made me sick to see my mom manipulate katey's insecurities. It was also hard to hear how fucking desperate katey sounded. It's unbelievable that I'm still the referee. Katey tries not to put me in that position but she looks to me for protection.
I've buried a lot of what went on when I was younger and it's nights like these that I have to think about everything katey and I experienced. I wish I could have done more to protect her. I wish I had stayed here for college. Even though I was only gone for a semester I wonder to what degree my abscence contributed to the events to follow.
I wish I had someone to tell my secrets to. I wish I could give them away.
I wish I could remember all of them.
I've buried a lot of what went on when I was younger and it's nights like these that I have to think about everything katey and I experienced. I wish I could have done more to protect her. I wish I had stayed here for college. Even though I was only gone for a semester I wonder to what degree my abscence contributed to the events to follow.
I wish I had someone to tell my secrets to. I wish I could give them away.
I wish I could remember all of them.