[fic] the pacific - straight on til morning (1/3)
“This is right, isn’t it?” his mum asks, looking up at the column, “What did the innkeeper say again?”
“He said to walk right through it,” Eddie says, feeling uncertain.
His dad steps in front of the trolley and knocks on the brick, “It feels pretty solid to me, son.”
“Let me try,” his sister Susan pipes up, pushing past their dad’s legs. She doesn’t even hesitate, just runs forward-and disappears.
“That was incredible,” Eddie’s brother Kenneth says from behind him.
“Well,” Eddie says as he steels himself. He glances from his mum to his dad before breaking into a run with the trolley. He can’t help but close his eyes and flinch away as he expects the impact-and it culminates with crashing his trolley into some hapless victim on the other side.
“Sorry!” Eddie says, hurrying around the side to offer a hand, “Sorry, I didn’t see you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” the other boy says, pushing himself back onto his feet. He’s wearing a cloak and Eddie can’t help but stare-it hasn’t fully registered that he’s going to learn how to become a wizard. The other boy dusts of his robes and smiles at Eddie-which is really more than Eddie expected after running into him with his luggage.
“I’m Andy,” the boy says, offering his hand.
“Eddie,” Eddie replies, “Nice to meet you.”
Andy looks over Eddie’s shoulder where his family is coming through the wall, “First year?”
“Yeah,” Eddie says, feeling a spike of panic. Is it that obvious?
“I’ll help you take your luggage up,” Andy says.
“Oh,” Eddie says, “I mean-you don’t have to.”
“No big deal,” Andy says with another smile, “I’m already settled in.”
“Hello,” Eddie’s dad says to Andy, “Are you a student too?”
“Yes sir.”
“Making friends already,” Eddie mum says, putting her arm around Eddie’s shoulder, “Eddie, you’re going to have a great time.”
“Yes, yes,” Eddie says, edging away and glancing at Andy. Andy makes eye contact and grins like he knows exactly what Eddie’s thinking. “I’ve got to get on the train mum, I’ll write you all the time.”
“Are you going to be posting it or using one of those owls?” his mum asks and Eddie wishes desperately that she would stop talking.
“Are you going to write me too?” Susan asks Eddie.
“Can you really fly on broomsticks?” Kenneth asks Andy.
“Sure can,” Andy says at the same time that Eddie says, “I will write everyone.”
“I’m going to miss you, Eddie,” his mum says, pulling him towards her. Eddie hugs her back.
“I’ll miss you too mum.”
“Write us when you get there,” his dad says, clapping him on the back.
“All right,” Eddie says and he hefts one of his trunks off the trolley. True to his word, Andy grabs the other one and fires off a salute to Eddie’s father. Eddie tries not to feel envious at the ease with which the other boy handles the luggage.
“Are you a first year too?” Eddie asks they lug the trunks from the platform onto the train.
“Second year, actually.”
“What house are you in?”
“Hufflepuff. I love it but you’d be really well off in any house, really.”
“How do they choose which house you’re in?”
Andy grins at him, “What have you heard?”
“Am I going to-” Eddie gestures vaguely, “-have to use magic or something? Because truth be told, I’m really new at this stuff. I haven’t really had a chance to try anything except in the wand shop-”
“Relax, Eddie,” Andy says, “Nothing like that. I promise you won’t have to do magic.”
“I’m muggleborn,” Eddie says and feels stupid for saying it. His entire family had practically been shouting it out on the platform.
“A lot of us are,” Andy says, “Some of the best students at Hogwarts are muggleborn.”
“Oh,” Eddie says and looks quickly at Andy’s face to see if Andy thinks he’s as stupid as he sounds.
“You should sit with us,” Andy says, “I’m sure Everett would love you scare you into regretting you ever came to Hogwarts. Hell, he might even have some good advice for you by accident.”
“Alright,” Eddie says and tries not to sound too desperate. Andy grins at him.
___________
“Not too bad was it?” someone whispers behind him. Eddie whips around and the parchment he’s been trying to flatten rolls up again.
“Hello Andy,” Eddie greets.
“What’re you-oh Binns is making you write papers already?”
“Fifteen centimeters on the founding of Hogwarts. There’s something mesmerizing about Professor Binns’s voice. I can barely stay awake.”
“Don’t fight it,” Andy advises and takes the seat across from him, “Read the textbook instead. Binns doesn’t teach you anything except how to stare at a wall for two hours. I might say Hogwarts, A History would be better for this assignment though.”
“Thank you,” Eddie says and immediately sorts through his stack of books to see if he has Hogwarts, A History.
“How’s your first week been?” Andy asks, “How do you like your house?”
“I like it,” Eddie says, “I like Gryffindor too.”
“Are you going to try out for the quidditch team?”
Eddie fidgets with the parchment, “I’m uh, not really sure what that is.”
“Eddie,” Andy says, suddenly very serious, “You’ve never been on a broom before, have you?”
“Ah,” Eddie says.
Andy reaches out and rolls up Eddie’s parchment neatly, capping his quill with an efficient movement, “You need to come with me right now.”
Eddie packs his bookbag and sets aside the books he took from the shelves. Andy hefts it onto his shoulder when Eddie moves to put the books back and grabs Eddie’s wrist, pulling him towards the door, “You’ve finished your quota in the library for a week, come on.”
___________
“It’s a Cleansweep Three,” Andy tells Eddie, “It’s the latest model. It rides like a dream.”
To Eddie, the broom looks like a sleeker version of the broom his mum uses to sweep out the porch-but the tone in Andy’s voice tells him that they’re in two completely different leagues. Andy looks up at Eddie and grins, “I’ll show you how to do it first and then you have to try.”
“Alright,” Eddie agrees, dropping his bookbag onto the field. Andy swings his leg over the broom and kicks off in a smooth motion. The broom rises into the air slowly-and then Andy leans forward and the broom shoots forward. Eddie shields his eyes and watches Andy lean from side to side to control the turn and pull up on his body to come to a halt. Andy handles the broom like a natural.
“You play quidditch, don’t you?” Eddie asks as Andy touches down and dismounts.
“I’m trying out for beater,” Andrew agrees, and laughs at the confusion that must be showing on Eddie’s face, “It’s okay, I’ll tell you how everything works later. Right now, you have to try flying.”
He hands his broom over to Eddie who looks down at it and hesitates for a moment before throwing his leg over. He’s never been too terrified of heights but the thought of being twenty feet in the air on a normally inanimate object is giving him second thoughts.
“Promise you’ll love it,” Andy tells him. Eddie kicks off and the broom rises into the air. He leans forward a little bit and the broom accelerates. Eddie grins and leans forward more and the broom is tearing across the field. He hears a whoop from below. He does two shaky laps around where Andy is standing and almost crashes on his landing when he comes down too fast. Andy grins and helps him up.
“I’ll have to practice more,” Eddie says, handing Andy back his broom.
“I’ll lend you my broom. It’s better than the Silver Arrows the school uses.”
Eddie grins and picks up his bookbag. Andy shoulders his broom and grins back at Eddie as they head towards the castle.
___________
Eddie doesn’t know how Andy manages to find time to track him down to go flying a few evenings every week. When he passes Andy in the hallways, the other boy is always surrounded by friends in his own year but he always manages a smile and a nod for Eddie. Eddie has his own friends in Gryffindor too, but there’s something different about the friendship he has with Andy-something exotic about having a friend both a year older and in a different house.
“Quidditch season is starting up,” Andy whispers by way of greeting when he finds Eddie in his usual spot in the library, “Are you busy?”
Eddie closes his book, “Thank god you’re here.”
Andy grins and waits for Eddie to pack up, “You’ve learned levitating spells, right?”
“Hypothetically.”
“Let’s put it to the test,” Andy whispers and flashes Madam Wike the librarian a winning smile as she rounds the corner and frowns at them.
Fifteen minutes later, Eddie has barely managed to levitate small rocks to the height that Andy needs, much less the heavy wooden imitation-bludgers that Andy brought out. Andy had started out swooping over him in the air calling out encouragement but now he’s on the ground with his own wand out and occasionally correcting Eddie’s grip.
“No wonder I’ve been doing terribly in Charms,” Eddie mutters, letting Andy rearrange his grip slightly for the third time.
“No problem,” Andy says, “I couldn’t figure out how to hold it correctly until after the winter holidays first year and I had the advantage of growing up with magic my whole life.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
Andy grins, “Is it working?”
“A little,” Eddie admits and flicks his wand at a stone on the ground, “Wingardium Leviosa.” The stone lifts into the air and hovers at a respectable height. Eddie follows it with his eyes before flicking his wand again and the pebble shoots off.
“Ready to try it on the bludgers?” Andy asks, hefting his bat.
___________
Sometime around Halloween Andy tells him how to get into the Hufflepuff basement through the barrels next to the kitchen and he laughs when Eddie relays the story of being doused in vinegar on his first failed attempt. He tries again the next day and finds Andy watering the plants in the common room. “Nobody else does it,” Andy offers as an excuse when he sees Eddie and finishes watering the purple flowers that giggle. Eddie’s had Herbology for almost three months and he’s still weirded out by moving plants.
“I hear we’re playing you in two weeks,” Eddie replies, eyes still on the potted flowers, “I’m not sure who to support.”
“You might get lynched if you support Hufflepuff in your stands,” Andy says, “I’d be touched but worried.”
“Who says I’d support Hufflepuff for you?” Eddie asks and Andy throws a pillow at hm.
___________
Andy,
I said I’d write over Christmas holidays so here I am. Things are going alright. My sister is a bit angry this Christmas because we’re not really celebrating this year. I didn’t realize how much Hogwarts tuition cost and the harvest wasn’t so good this fall. I spend most of the day exercising the horses and chopping wood since my brother got a job at the aeroplane factory. He’ll probably be back for Christmas though. We’ll have a dinner at least.
I hope your holiday has been going well.
Eddie
_____
Eddie,
I’m really sorry to hear about your holidays! What does your sister like? Maybe I can find something at Diagon Alley so Christmas isn’t a complete bust for her?
My holidays have been good. My mum keeps making me try her new recipes. I think she’s been bored. My sister graduated this year and I’ve been away at Hogwarts and my dad travels for the ministry. I fly a lot whenever my mum isn’t trying to stuff me full of food.
What is an aeroplane? Truth be told, I don’t know much about muggle things. You should teach me.
Andy
_____
Andy,
It’s okay, don’t worry about it. It’s nothing we haven’t dealt with before. She’s gotten over it before and she’ll get over it again. Thank you for offering though.
What has she been making? We eat with the seasons so it’s been a lot of potatoes and turnips right now. My mum makes a really great bread though, I’ll bring some when we get back so you can try it.
An aeroplane is this machine that allows us to fly in the air. It’s kind of like an automobile with wings but bigger. I don’t really know how it works and I’ve never been on one of them but I guess it’s the muggle equivalent of a broom. Have you ever heard of a television? I see them in the stores now. They’re like moving pictures I guess all pictures for you are moving, huh?
I’m sorry it’s not much but I enclosed one of my favorite books. I hope you like it. Happy Christmas Andy.
Eddie
_____
Eddie,
I started reading your gift! It’s great! I don’t know what some of the muggle things it talks about is about but half the fun is trying to figure it out from the context. I also really like reading your notes in the margins. Sherlock Holmes is a really interesting character. He reminds me a bit of this character from this wizarding book I read but I can’t remember his name. Bugger.
My mom has really been into pastries this winter. She just set down a blackberry and powdered sugar tart in front of me for tea. I’m afraid you might have to roll me across the platform come the beginning of the school year. Sometimes her baking is really good and sometimes you just have to pretend that it’s really good but either way I eat it all.
I would really like to see one of these aeroplane things! And also a television. I showed my sister the front cover of your book and she was confused why they didn’t move.
I’ll see you in a week! I have your Christmas present.
Andy
___________
“You’ll be alright?” Eddie’s mother asks for the fifth time, “Write home if anything happens, alright?”
“Hogwarts isn’t exactly dangerous,” Eddie replies absently, “I’ll be okay, mum.” He’s looking for a familiar face to appear on the platform.
“When can I go to Hogwarts?” Susan asks, hanging off the bar of his trolley.
“Maybe you’ll get a letter too,” Eddie replies just before spotting the line of Andy’s shoulders in the crowd. He’s talking to a group of Hufflepuffs, two of whom Eddie recognizes as part of their quidditch team. Andy must have said something funny because they laugh. Eddie smiles and looks back at his mum.
“Maybe we should get you an owl,” his mum says, “That way you can write home more often.”
“The school owls are okay, mum.”
“Hello,” Andy says as he approaches them, “Hi Mrs. Jones, hi Susan.”
“Hello Andy,” Eddie says.
Andy looks at him and he grins and says, “Hi Eddie.”
Eddie doesn’t know why but his chest feels tight and he grins back.
___________
The snow is still melting from the mountains and draining into the Great Lake when Andy decides that Eddie should accompany him on a run around the castle every morning. Eddie knows he’s in good shape but he has trouble keeping up with the pace of the other boy.
“You can’t possibly be this fast by flying a broom all the time,” Eddie says as they go for a cooldown lap around the quidditch pitch, “No offense but flying looks like a lot of sitting down on a broom to me.”
“Ouch,” Andy says, a little winded, “He goes in right for the kill.”
“But seriously.”
Andy turns his head to look at Eddie, “I’ve done a run every morning since last year. I like the quiet when no one else is out here. It lets me think about stuff.”
Eddie doesn’t know what to say at first, and then he can’t help but ask, “But you invited me…?”
“You know when to be quiet,” Andy replies, looking forward again, “And I like all of my other friends but the same can’t always be said about them.”
Eddie doesn’t say anything after that but he feels pleased.
___________
Eddie looks down at his watch and frowns. It’s nearly six o’clock and he’s sure that there was something that he had to do at six. He bends over his essay and scrawls another sentence on the medical uses of Singing Poppies when he remembers.
Five minutes later he’s walking briskly through the Hufflepuff common room-it’s a testament to how often he shows up that none of the Hufflepuffs even give him a second glance-and knocking on Andy’s door. He hears shuffling from inside and then Andy opens the door with an ink splotch on his cheek and smears across his right elbow.
“Puddlemere United,” Eddie says and Andy curses as he caps his quill and immediately starts rummaging in his trunk.
“You look like you’re losing the battle here,” Eddie says, looking at the crumpled papers on Andy’s desk.
“I’ll win the war, no doubt,” Andy replies and emerges with a miniature model of a quidditch field. He sets it on his bed and taps it with his want. Eddie closes the dormitory door and climbs onto the bed. Andy grins as the figures on the scaled model comes to life and raucous cheering fills the room.
“You aren’t busy, are you?” Eddie asks belatedly.
“Shh,” Andy says, looking intently at where the tiny brown-robed chasers are circling the tiny pitch, “Quidditch, Eddie.”
___________
It’s his eighth hour of studying and the longest that Eddie has ever stared at a book. Eddie gave up struggling through the material with the first year Gryffindors and left with promises to report back on what he learned from Andy. He’s holed up in a corner of the library with Andy and Everett and he’s ready to put his head down on his Transfiguration textbook and take a nap.
Andy taps the side of his head when he gives in to the urge and whispers, “Come on Eddie, up and at them.”
“Half an hour,” Eddie whispers back, “Or until dinnertime. Whichever one comes faster.”
“I could go for some food right now,” Everett says, finishing the sentence that he’s writing. Eddie learned the art of handwriting size from Everett-making it large to take up more space but small enough to not make his intentions obvious.
“I’ll walk you back to Gryffindor Tower if you want to sleep after dinner,” Andy says to Eddie.
“No, I need to study,” Eddie sits up, “I’ll come with you guys.”
“Alright,” Andy says as they start gathering their stuff.
Eddie stops briefly at the Gryffindor table to pass on advice that Andy suggested for the Charms final before taking a seat next to Andy at the Hufflepuff table. The boy sitting on the other side of him glances up and offers a polite smile before immersing himself back in his Herbology textbook.
He spends most of dinner mentally repeating Transfiguration theory to himself and staring blankly into space. He barely notices when Andy eyes his empty plate and starts adding food. After a while, Andy leans toward him and says quietly, “You okay, Eddie?”
“I’m good.”
“You’ve barely eaten anything.”
Eddie looks down at his plate, “Oh.” And then, “I just want to do really well on these exams. My parents are paying a lot for me to come here.”
“Eat,” Andy says.
Eddie stops drawing designs in his mashed potatoes and eats a forkful.
“You’re gonna be great,” Andy says, pressing his arm against Eddie’s, “You’re the smartest first year I know. You don’t have anything to worry about.”
___________
E,
If I sent you a broom this summer, would you try out for the Gryffindor team next year?
A
_____
A,
Where would I practice?
E
PS. My mum loves Artemis and won’t stop feeding her biscuits every time she arrives. I hope that’s okay with you.
_____
E,
Come to Bournemouth.
Send me some biscuits too.
A
_____
A,
I have to help my dad with the fields most days though. Can’t wait to learn how to Apparate.
I hope you like these biscuits. My mum made them.
E
_____
E,
The biscuits were delicious. My mum requests the recipe if that would be okay with your mum.
Do you need any help? Mum’s trying to stuff me full of baked goods again.
A
_____
A,
I think we’re almost done for the summer. Sometimes I feel like farming is a lot of waiting with short periods of really hard work.
My mum wrote a letter along with the recipe so they’re both in the attached envelope.
Also, I just finished reading this book and thought that maybe you’d like it too.
E
_____
E,
Just came back from France. I read the book on the train and really liked it.
My mum insisted on sending these glass flowers. I don’t know. I hope your mum likes them.
Also I’m sending you a broom because I can. See you soon!
A
___________
The package arrives the day before Eddie has to start packing: it’s a brand new Cleansweep Three. Susan actually gets to it first and tears apart the brown wrapping paper before Eddie comes in from the stables so he finds it on the living room floor.
“It doesn’t work,” Susan tells Eddie from the top of the stairs as he turns it over in his hands. He thought Andy was kidding.
“How do you make it fly?” Susan asks as she walks down the stairs.
Eddie looks up at her and grins. He doesn’t even mind that she opened it without his permission and grabs her hand, “Come on.”
There’s a clearing in the woods far away from their closest neighbors and he helps his sister up when she stumbles over the tree roots. He briefly thinks about the underage magic laws but the thrill of having a broom of his own is too much.
“Okay,” he tells Susan as he lets go of her hand and throws a leg over the broom, “Watch.”
She folds her hands behind her and rocks on the balls of her feet. Eddie grins and spirals lazily into the air. He’s had months of experience on Andy’s broom and this one rides just as smooth.
“Oh!” she cries, clapping her hands, “Eddie, can I try?”
He does a quick circle around the clearing before touching down onto the grass and dismounting. “Promise to be careful?” He doesn’t know what possesses him to agree, but he can’t help but grin at the expression on Susan’s face.
“I promise,” she says.
“Promise not to go too high?”
“I promise,” she repeats, holding her hand out for the broom.
Eddie hesitates but he hands the broom over, “Be careful.”
“I said I would,” she says and gets onto the broom slowly. She kicks off from the ground and even though she barely levitates a meter from the ground, her knuckles go white around the handle, “Whoa!”
Eddie grins and shields his eyes against the sun, “Yeah.”
___________
The moment right before dawn breaks through the mountains and scatters sunlight across the lake is Eddie’s favorite time of day. He likes to listen to the birds waking up and the sound of Andy’s breathing. He likes to listen to the sound of their shoes crunching against the dirt pathway and the sound of his heart beating in his ears.
“I didn’t run much in France,” Andy admits when they start their cooldown lap.
“Keep up old man,” Eddie replies, though he’s winded too.
Andy laughs, “I could outrun you any day.”
Eddie jogs past Andy, says, “First one to the castle,” and breaks into a run just as Andy yells, “Hey!”
Eddie grins and pushes himself to his limit, gangly legs eating up the distance between the pitch and the main doors. It takes a moment but Andy catches up with him and eventually passes him, slapping his hand on the front door barely a moment before Eddie touches it.
“What were you saying?” Andy asks, bending over with his hands on his knees.
Eddie laughs, which is painful because his body is screaming for oxygen and it comes out as this pained hiccup which sets Andy off. Eddie leans against the wall and tries to catch his breath but the expression on Andy’s face sets him off again until he has to wheeze out, “I don’t want to die by laughter.”
“Stop,” Andy wheezes back, clutching Eddie’s shoulder, “Stop.”
Eddie laughs more and even though it hurts, he can’t.
___________
Eddie flicks his wand at a stray button on his desk, muttering the spell under his breath. The button reshapes itself into a tiny teacup but doesn’t change color like Eddie wanted it to. He flicks his wands again and concentrates as he says the spell. The teacup reshapes itself into the button it was originally.
“Hi,” Andy says as he drops his Defense against the Dark Arts book onto the table across from him, “Transfiguration?”
“The new professor really emphasizes practice over theory,” Eddie replies, prodding the button with his wand, “I’m having a hard time getting the details right. I’m having trouble changing the color.”
Andy sits down and sets a scroll of parchment on top of his textbook before digging in his bag for his quill, “The book tells you to concentrate hard on whatever you want the thing to transform into, right?”
Eddie nods.
“I’ve found I get better results if I concentrate on what the thing might look like morphing from the first thing to the second thing,” Andy says, “It’s easier to control the transfiguration process so that if you think something’s going wrong, you can reverse it a tiny bit and fix it.” He uncaps his quill and smoothes out the parchment, looking at Eddie, “That’s what my mum suggested and it works for me. Try it.”
Eddie tries to imagine the sides of the button rising up to form the walls of the cup, imagines the teal intermediary between the forest green of the button and the pale blue of the teacup. He flicks his wand and murmurs the spell.
Andy grins, “Not bad, Jones.”
Eddie picks up the pale blue teacup and examines it from all sides before grinning back, “Not bad advice, Haldane.”
“Speaking of advice,” Andy says, his quill poised on parchment, “You know how I’m taking Muggle Studies?”
Eddie sets the teacup down, “I hope your professor didn’t catch you writing quidditch plays.”
“I am very discreet,” Andy assures him, “I sat in the back.”
“What’s this one on?”
“Sixty centimeters on muggle transportation.”
“What do you need to know?”
___________
“Eddie,” Andy says when they’re studying under a tree next to the Great Lake mid-October, “You should come back with me over Christmas holidays.”
“I don’t know if I’d be able to,” Eddie replies. He has a book balanced on his stomach but he’s been hovering falling leaves towards the Great Lake for the last fifteen minutes. “Since my brother’s gone, my dad counts on me to chop wood for the stove.”
“Oh.”
“I’ve got a better idea,” Eddie says, sitting up, “Come to our place for Christmas.”
___________
He borrows Andy’s scarf for the game. The Gryffindor stand is decked out in yellow and black-but Eddie knows it’s less solidarity with Hufflepuff than support for their win against the Slytherins.
It takes him a while to find his Gryffindor friends but they’ve saved him a seat. He shields his eyes against the sun and looks up at the sky where he can pick Andy out solely by the silhouette of his back.
“If Slytherin loses, we’ll be at an advantage for the cup,” Warren Muck the first year says to Eddie’s left while waving a Hufflepuff flag, “They need to be thirty points up though.”
“Slytherin’s defense was terrible in the Gryffindor match though,” Haney the sixth year turns around in his seat in front, “Their keeper isn’t very good.”
Eddie grins, “I think our chances are good today, boys.”
___________
“How was Hogsmeade?” Eddie asks when he hears his dormitory door open.
“How’d you know it was me?” Andy asks, “I could have been anyone.”
“Ron?” Eddie calls out without looking up from his book.
“What?” comes the curt reply. Eddie can’t remember the last time Ron Speirs left the room for anything other than classes and food.
“Power of elimination,” Eddie turns to look at Andy.
“Hello Ron,” Andy says, “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“Hello Andy,” Ron says. Andy waits a moment to see if he’s going to say anything else before looking at Eddie.
“Hogsmeade?” Eddie asks.
“I got the peanut butter clusters you like from Hogsmeade,” Andy reaches into his robes and pulls out the bag of sweets, “And some butterbeer. I don’t know how you don’t have any cavities.”
“Magic,” Eddie says, tearing into a packet of the clusters.
“Like a bone strengthening charm?”
Eddie laughs, “No, I mean, I don’t really know. I’ve never really had the chance to eat candy. Are you going back to your room then?”
“I’ve got an Ancient Runes essay to write. Might go to the library.”
“Wait,” Eddie says, shoving the wrapper of the candy into his book to save his page, “I’ll come with you.”
“Sorry for the intrusion, Ron,” Andy says. Ron waves him off.
“Okay,” Eddie says shoving his books and quills into his bag, “Let’s go.”
___________
“It’s a good thing we haven’t moved your brother’s bed yet,” Eddie’s mum says, “We haven’t been able to have guests since Susan was born. What is that? Almost eight years now?”
“I’m nine years old, mum,” Susan says, fidgeting in her seat.
“Nine years then,” she amends, “We thought about converting your room into a guest, Eddie, but since you come back during the winters and summers, we decided against it. Your brother found an apartment in town so he doesn’t come back any more. It’s not a very big house, Andy, I hope you’ll be fine with the accommodations.”
“I’m actually looking forward to it,” Andy says. Eddie’s tucked in between Andy and his sister, legs folded up in front of him, looking out the window and wishing they could go faster despite the snow and ice.
“We installed an indoor toilet two years ago, though,” his mum says, “It beats having to go to the outhouse in the middle of the night during the winter. Your dad is very clever with plumbing, you know.”
“Oh stop flattering me, Helen,” his dad says as he turns into the long dirt road that would take them to the farmhouse. Eddie makes eye contact with Andy as if to silently apologize for his parents’ behavior but Andy just smiles back at him.
___________
When Eddie wakes up, Andy is already in the kitchen with his mother. He can hear the low hum of their voices and his mother’s occasional laughter as he pulls on his trousers and a new shirt and goes down the stairs.
“Eddie!” she greets him over the frying eggs, “Andy was just telling me about his uncle-Fairworth was it? Did you know that on wizarding farms, they cast spells during the growing season to protect the vegetables from frost? Have you learned any of those?”
“I can’t do magic when I’m at home, mum.”
“You should look into it anyway,” his mum says. Eddie picks up a piece of toast and crams half of it into his mouth.
“Good morning,” Andy says with a wry smile. He has a half empty glass of orange juice and he’s mopping up egg yolk from his plate with a piece of bread. He’s about to ask for eggs of his own when his mum lifts the pan and scrapes eggs onto a plate for him.
“Thanks,” Eddie says as she pushes the plate towards him.
“Your father went out to the lake to supervise the ice harvest. When you’re done, would you restock the woodpile?”
“Sure thing,” Eddie says through a mouthful of food.
“I’ll go get our coats,” Andy says.
“Oh Andy,” Eddie’s mum says, “You’re a guest.”
“I’d really like to help though,” Andy smiles and disappears up the stairs before she can protest again. Eddie’s mum cracks another egg into the pan and looks at Eddie.
“I like Andy,” she says, “He’s such a charmer. I’ve been talking to his mother regularly too-she has some great recipes.”
Eddie nods and pours himself some orange juice.
“He has such good manners,” she says, “I’m glad you have such nice friends, Eddie.”
___________
It’s hard to maneuver the wheelbarrow through the snow but Eddie knows the woods surrounding his house like the back of his hand. Andy wraps bright yellow and black around his neck and for a moment Eddie wonders where he got it-the scarf he borrowed weeks ago is somewhere in his dormitory in the Gryffindor towers.
“Everything is so open,” Andy marvels and his words come out on a puff of condensation, “My house is at the bottom of a hill, surrounded by woods.”
“I’ll come visit sometime,” Eddie says. Their shoes crunch on the snow as they near the woods. “In the summer, it’s not as open. Sometimes it feels like we’re drowning in a giant sea of wheat and the only pathway out is the path to the road. We don’t plant against the fence but the horses can barely fit anyway.”
“You could fly over all of it. You’ve got a broom. Your closest neighbors are a few kilometers away, aren’t they?”
“We get hired help in the summer sometimes. I’d be breaking some rule, I’m sure.”
“Wish you could come to my place. I love flying through the woods. My mum hates it, she thinks I’m going to crash into a tree.”
“I went flying here once,” Eddie says, “When the broom arrived. I took my sister into a clearing in the woods and we flew it.”
“Your sister flew it?” Andy asks.
“Just a couple feet off the ground.”
Andy turns and grins at him, “She’ll be coming to Hogwarts then?”
“Why?”
“Muggles can’t fly broomsticks. Or at least that’s what my mum told me.”
“Oh,” Eddie says, “Oh, wow. I don’t know how my parents will react.”
“They won’t be happy?”
“My brother will probably be disappointed,” Eddie replies.
They continue through the snow in silence for a while. Andy looks up at the sky and shoves his hands into his coat pockets.
“Hey,” Eddie says, “Did I ever properly thank you for the broom?”
“No need,” Andy replies, “I make you come out and fly with me all the time, don’t I?”
“It’s not exactly like you’re dragging me out.”
“It’s okay Eddie. It was just as much for me as it was for you.”
“Thank you,” Eddie says, “I wish I could do something for you, Andy.”
“You let me visit,” Andy says, “And you’re my friend.”
Eddie looks down at the wheelbarrow because he doesn’t know what to say. He can see Andy turn and smile at him.
“I think we have it pretty good, Eddie.”
___________
It’s been snowing since noon and the path from the house to the road has long been blanketed in white. Eddie has spent most of the day sitting on the couch reading ahead in his transfiguration textbook while Andy had been drafted into stringing together popcorn for the pine tree they had put up next to the fireplace. Susan had painted pinecones with red and gold paint and hung them up as ornaments since glass ornaments were too expensive. Andy hadn’t said anything except that she had done a great job. Eddie couldn’t help but wonder what kind of elaborate tree the Haldanes put up every year.
“Eddie,” his dad says after dinner, “Why don’t you go get your guitar? You haven’t played for us in a while.”
“You play the guitar?” Andy asks.
“Wizards have guitars?” Eddie asks in response.
“I want to hear the guitar!” Susan demands.
“It’s still in your room,” Eddie’s mum says, “I haven’t moved it at all.”
“You have no choice,” Andy concludes with a grin.
Eddie goes up the stairs to get the guitar and he’s coming back down when he hears his mother say, “He’s so shy about playing it but he’s got some natural talent.”
“Could have been a musician if he weren’t a farmhand,” his dad says, “Or a wizard, I suppose.”
“Not really,” Eddie says, “Don’t get your expectations up too high, Andy.”
“I’ll judge for myself,” Andy replies.
“He just listens to the radio and figures out what the notes are,” Eddie’s mum says, “Isn’t that right Eddie?”
“I can’t read music,” Eddie admits in a mutter.
“Play already!” Susan says.
“Okay, okay,” Eddie says and he sets the guitar on his leg and fingers the fretboard. It’s familiar weight in his hands and he can already feel muscle memory taking over. It took months of listening to the radio in the evenings and messing around on the guitar until he could finally pull his first shaky song from the strings and years after that for familiarity to guide his hands. The guitar had been passed down from his grandfather who had played for all of them. He died of pneumonia before Eddie was old enough to start working in the fields. Eddie doesn’t remember him well but he’s grateful for the guitar.
He tries to figure out what to play but then his fingers start moving on their and he only half recognizes the song that comes out-a swing song that he had translated to the guitar in between helping his father birth calves in the spring. The notes come out slower, the upbeat rhythm transformed into a moderate nostalgia. His playing is a little rusty because he hasn’t picked up the guitar in so long-but he can’t help but remember how to play.
Susan claps when the last note fades but Eddie’s looking at Andy. He knows what his family thinks, but they’re not sophisticated like Andy and they don’t take vacations to France or Turkey whenever they feel like it.
“It’s a little sadder than you usually play,” Eddie’s mum says, “But it was good, Eddie. What do you think, Andy?”
“Wow,” Andy says, looking from the guitar to Eddie’s face, “Eddie, you’re amazing.”
“It was a little too sad,” Eddie mumbles at his guitar because he doesn’t know how to take the compliment. He’s pleased though.
“Play something else,” Susan suggests, “Play something happier then.”
Eddie readjusts his grip, thinks for a moment, and then he starts to play.
___________
He feels stupid when he boards the Hogwarts Express with a guitar case. It doesn’t help that Andy’s been whisked away by the Hufflepuff quidditch team to discuss plays they’ve been planning the entire winter holiday. He’s not sure how Andy convinced him to bring his grandfather’s guitar. It reminds him too much of gaslight on the porch and wheat rustling in the autumn. It reminds him of a time when he thought his entire future was tied up with the farm.
He makes small talk with a couple of the Gryffindors before breaking away and finding Ron in a train compartment by himself. He slides open the door and the other boy looks up.
“Couldn’t wait to invade your personal space again,” Eddie says.
“Come on in, Eddie,” Ron replies, looking back at his book.
Eddie steps into the compartment and slides the door shut after himself. He’s half expecting Ron to mention something about not playing the guitar during school days but Ron keeps on reading his book. Eddie shoves his trunk under the seat and sprawls out across the seat opposite to Ron before closing his eyes.
If there’s one thing that Eddie likes about his roommate, it’s that he never expects Eddie to strike up a conversation.
___________
Eddie considers the table in the library next to the Arithmancy texts and the statue of Ulga the Unbearable their table-enough to the extent that he leaves his commonly used library books on one side and keeps extra scrolls and quills under a locking charm underneath the tabletop. He’s there enough that the other library regulars steer clear of it and Madam Wike doesn’t even bother to shelve the books any more.
“You should have been sorted into Ravenclaw,” Andy tells him as he procrastinates on an essay about muggle electricity by reading a book on quidditch, “You devour textbooks like a madman.”
“I think I’d go mad in Ravenclaw,” Eddie replies, “I’d hate all of the competition.”
“We would still have been friends. You could still outperform me, any day.”
“Could you imagine if I was sorted into Hufflepuff?”
Andy grins, “Well, we probably wouldn’t be studying in the library all the time.”
“I’d never get any work done.”
“Hey,” Andy says, “I’m not that distracting.”
“Shh,” Eddie says mock seriously, “I’m trying to write this Herbology paper.”
___________
“Hey Jones.”
Eddie turns around and sees one of the third year Gryffindors hurrying towards him. “Hello John,” he says.
“I’ve always wondered,” John says, “Why you didn’t try out for the Gryffindor team this year. I’ve seen you fly-you’re pretty good. And you have your own broom yeah?”
“Oh,” Eddie says, “I wanted to focus on my schoolwork.”
“Well from what I hear, you’ve been acing all your classes,” he claps Eddie on the shoulder, “You should consider trying out next year. I’ll be captain and I think you’d make a great addition to the team.”
“Hey Basilone!” someone calls out, “You coming to Transfiguration or what?”
“Think about it, yeah?” John says with a smile before he turns and hurries back to his friends.
___________
The first time that it happens, Eddie wakes up with a sharp gasp and whatever was left of the dream is chased away with the dim predawn light filtering in through the tower window. He rolls over to check that Ron’s still asleep before gingerly getting out of bed and grabbing a new pair of briefs and new clothes. He takes a shower just to wash away the unfamiliar feeling even though he knows he’ll be taking another shower after his run with Andy.
The fourth time it happens, Eddie remembers details. He remembers walking through the forest and Andy by his side. They’re not doing anything at all, just walking side by side, but Eddie feels an incomprehensible sort of joy that lifts his entire being, something all-encompassing and overwhelming and he doesn’t understand it at all. When he wakes up, the feeling stays with him until he blinks the sleep away and then it disappears. He has to take another shower.
He owls his brother because he doesn’t know who else to ask. He can’t talk to Andy because he feels like there’s something strange about being woken up every morning thinking about his best friend with his cock half hard. Three days later, he gets a letter back that relieves him a little even if it doesn’t make him feel any better: don’t worry, it’s a natural part of life, Eddie, but it’s so strange to me that you’re growing up so quickly.
He writes Thanks, Kenneth and gets back, I realize that nobody has told you much about this so as your big brother, I will fulfill my duties. You’re at the age where you’ll probably start noticing girls now, so it’s better for you to know now than to flounder in your confusion later on. I only wish we could do this face to face rather than through a letter but I wouldn’t want to keep you agonizing until the summer. As Eddie reads more of the letter, he gets more and more uncomfortable until he finishes it and has to put it away immediately out of embarrassment.
One thing keeps nagging at him every time he starts to think about the contents of that letter: he couldn’t care less about girls. He keeps dreaming of Andy.
Common sense tells him to keep his mouth shut.
___________
“You’ve been studying too hard,” Andy whispers by way of greeting, “When’s your first final? Not until next Wednesday, right? Have you been eating or have you forgotten?”
“How do you know my schedule?” Eddie asks, and then, “Why aren’t you studying?”
“I studied,” Andy says, “I studied for an entire six hours and if I have to turn another chrysanthemum into a beetle, I think I might set my books on fire. Come take a break with me.”
“But,” Eddie replies, “Goblin uprisings. 1356 AD.”
“You haven’t eaten all day, have you?”
“Um,” Eddie says and five minutes later finds himself in front of the fruit painting near the passageway to the Hufflepuff common room entrance. Andy tickles the pear and Eddie resigns himself to taking a break.
___________
E,
My sister has been seeing a bloke from Greece for the last year and they’ve decided to get married in Crete. We’re taking a ship down because trans-channel apparition is too tiring for my mum. I’d tell you to come but you’ll be busy I suspect. I’ll bring you back olives or something.
A
_____
A,
I didn’t really like olives the only time I tried them but maybe that was because they weren’t prepared correctly. I’m sure you’ll have a good time in Greece and I hope your sister has a lovely wedding. My mum is already asking when you’ll be visiting this summer.
E
_____
E,
No olives but brother in law’s mum makes a delicious baklava. I figured they’d keep well enough to last until they get to England. Keep Artemis for a few days, will you? She’ll probably be tired after the long flight.
A
_____
A,
Susan really liked the baklava. I thought it was really good too.
I think Artemis has established herself as an authority over the wild barn owls we have here. We certainly have less mice in the stables than we did before. My mum wants to keep her forever.
My brother’s thinking about enlisting in the Royal Air Force because of the tensions with Germany. I don’t know much about it but I hear him and my dad talking about it sometimes. Everyone says that war is going to break out from the way that Germany is acting. Stay safe.
E
_____
E,
If war did break out, we’d definitely apparate home, via France. My dad works for the ministry and he says that Professor Dumbledore has been around a few times warning them about a German wizard named Grindelwald. I guess the conflict is crossing the wizard-muggle border.
I think what your brother is doing is great. If I were in his position, I think I would enlist too. I would really like to defend my homeland and keep everyone safe. I think that would be a noble sacrifice to make.
A
_____
A,
Are you home? Artemis doesn’t seem so tired this time around.
Do you want to be an auror then? I’ve always thought about becoming an auror when I graduate Hogwarts but I don’t know if I’ll have the marks for it. Something tells me I might be coming back to the farm anyway.
E
_____
E,
Yes, I am home!
If you don’t want to work the farm, you shouldn’t have to. And about the marks: you must be joking, Eddie. You could become an auror easy, and I think you should.
A
_____
A,
You should come visit so my mum stops asking me when you’ll be coming. I think she might be more excited to see you than I am.
The farm’s been with the family for ages so I’d feel like betraying my parents if I decided to leave. I don’t know though, graduation is still forever away so I don’t have to worry about it right now.
E
___________
“Eddie!” Andy calls out and Eddie turns around to catch sight of the other boy picking up his trunk and heading his way. Eddie grins and hurries over.
“You’re taller than me,” Andy accuses, “When did this happen?”
“Guess they don’t feed us the right stuff at Hogwarts,” Eddie replies-and it’s true, he’s taller than Andy for the first time. It’s strange to be looking down at him instead of up. He’s all limbs though-none of Andy’s wide shoulders and solid bulk. He holds his hands out to take the trunk from Andy’s arms but he gets shrugged off.
“Where’s your mum?”
“I don’t even get a proper hello?”
“You said your mum was more excited to see me than you were,” Andy grins, “I thought I’d return the favor.”
“Oh piss off,” Eddie grins back.
___________
“My mum really wants you to come visit,” Andy says, “She says I spend enough time over here and it’s unfair that she’s never gotten the chance to host you. She said she’d send over Lilith in exchange.”
“Who’s Lilith?” Eddie’s stretched out on the grass next to Andy, chewing on a piece of grass and feeling unusually lazy. The sun’s going down behind the woods and throwing dappled shadows over where they sit. It outlines the silhouette of Andy’s face in gold and Eddie keeps his eyes on it even though the brightness of the sun hurts his eyes.
Andy looks away and his voice drops into a mumble, “She’s um. Our house elf.”
“What’s a house elf?”
Andy looks up at the treeline, “Kind of like an indentured servant.” He’s kind of hunching his shoulders in and Eddie realizes that he’s uncomfortable talking about it.
“Oh,” Eddie says, “I’ll come when Puddlemere gets their act together and actually wins the league.”
“Ravenclaw’s got a better chance at beating Gryffindor than Puddlemere winning the league.”
“Ravenclaw’s chasers are terrible,” Eddie says, “Are you admitting your beloved team isn’t any good?”
“I’m admitting that we’re faring terribly this season,” Andy says, “If we got a new seeker, we’d be sweeping the league.”
Eddie snorts and closes his eyes. He feels the air shift next to him and then Andy’s arm is pressed up against his. There’s a moment of uncertainty when he worries that the line between his dreams and reality is blurring but it’s soothed away by the whisper of the wind across the grass.
“Basilone wants me to try out for the team,” Eddie murmurs.
“You should,” Andy says, “You’d be an amazing chaser.”
“I don’t want to.”
Andy shifts and Eddie opens his eyes to see the other boy peering at him. “What are you, mental?”
“I don’t want to,” Eddie says, “I don’t want to have to compete against you, Andy.”
“Can’t handle a little friendly competition?” Andy asks, but his tone is light.
“I like being able to watch your quidditch practices sometimes,” Eddie admits, “I’d probably be considered as a spy if I’m on the Gryffindor team.”
“Couldn’t have my best friend ruining our chances at the quidditch cup,” Andy agrees quietly.
Eddie smiles and closes his eyes.
___________
When Eddie arrives back at Hogwarts, he has to perform an enlargement charm on his bed so his ankles won’t hang over the edge. Ron doesn’t return to Hogwarts until after classes start and makes some excuse about needing to see a professor when Eddie asks him how his summer was. Eddie doesn’t press-Ron’s always been mysterious about his past.
“You’re taking Arithmancy,” Andy says when he arrives at their table in the library after dinner, “My question is: why?”
“It looks interesting,” Eddie replies, “I was always good at arithmetic.”
“For that, I salute you,” Andy says, dropping his own books onto the table, “Arithmancy is one of the hardest classes here.”
Eddie grins, “I’m not afraid of a challenge.”
___________
Her name is Elenora Steller and she’s a fifth year Hufflepuff. Eddie’s seen her around a couple of times but he’s never been properly introduced.
“I went on a date with her right before we left for summer holidays,” Andy says during their cooldown lap, “Everett said that she wanted to go on one but was too shy to ask. She found me again this year and she says she wants to try going steady.”
“You should,” Eddie says while looking at the Great Lake. He doesn’t know why he feels so intensely disappointed. “I think it’d be a good experience.”
“I’m a little apprehensive,” Andy says, “I don’t think I make a very interesting date. She doesn’t like quidditch that much. Last date we talked about classes and there’s only so much of that I can take.”
“What do girls even talk about?” Eddie asks, “My sister like talking about what the animals are up to.” He pauses then adds, “She’s also ten years old and on a farm though.” His heart is pounding faster than it should be and he’s peripherally aware that he’s just saying words without thinking them through.
“I honestly have no idea,” Andy says, “She likes talking about what other people are doing, I guess? That’s a pretty common topic of conversation, isn’t it? We talk about stuff like that, right?”
“I’ve never tried analyzing what we talk about.”
“I don’t understand,” Andrew says, “I’m fine with talking to girls in general but as soon as one expresses the tiniest bit of interest in me, I’m overthinking all of the conversations we could be having.”
“Don’t overthink it,” Eddie says and jogs faster.
___________
“This is the seventh day in a row Andy hasn’t burst into our room,” Ron observes while Eddie cleans his side of the room. Ron casts a scourgify on the floor where Eddie had spilled hot chocolate a few days ago and promptly covered in returned assignments. Eddie grunts a thanks as he upends the contents of his trunk onto his bed.
“Should I be concerned?” Ron asks.
“What?” Eddie asks, and then, “Oh no. He’s just been busy with this girl.” He starts sorting through the things he hadn’t bothered to unpack at the beginning of the year in effort to look for his spare quills. He’s gone through more quills in the last month than he has in the entire year previous. He doesn’t know what he’s doing differently but the tips keep snapping off and sometimes his normally tidy handwriting comes out blotchy.
“Andrew Haldane is going steady with a girl,” Ron repeats.
“Fifth year Hufflepuff. Elenora, if you know her,” Eddie starts to refold his winter cloak. He still has Andy’s Hufflepuff scarf. Without thinking, he lifts it to his nose. It still smells like Andy.
“Eddie,” Ron says and Eddie immediately drops the scarf and continues to rummage through the things in his trunk: old pairs of socks with holes in the heel and a sweater passed down by Kenneth that’s been patched up multiple times. “Aren’t you on your fifth quill this month?”
“I’m going to bankrupt my parents buying quills,” Eddie mutters.
Ron watches him for a few minutes longer before saying, “Borrow mine.”
“I don’t want to break it,” Eddie says.
“I’ve got plenty.”
“I-” Eddie says as he realizes that he really doesn’t have any more quills, “Bugger.” Ron holds out an eagle feather quill and he takes it, “Thank you, Ron.”
“I’ve got some advice for you,” Ron says sitting back down at his desk, “Breathe, Eddie. He’ll be back. These things never last very long.”
___________
On Halloween, Eddie goes with Andy and Elenora to Hogsmeade. In retrospect, it’s a bad decision.
“Let’s go to the Three Broomsticks,” Elenora suggests, “Maybe the barkeep will mistake you for being of age again.”
“I think he has a good memory, El,” Andy replies, “I don’t think he’ll make the same mistake twice. Where do you want to go, Eddie?”
Eddie shoves his hands into his jacket and shrugs. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling so on edge or why he keeps on wanting to looking at their joined hands. He keeps his eyes straight ahead. Elenora is alright, he tells himself, she’s very pretty with her dark curly hair and her small sharp nose and she has to be friendly or she wouldn’t have been sorted into Hufflepuff.
“Let’s go to Honeydukes,” Elenora says, “Could you buy me a cauldron cake, Andy? My birthday’s almost coming up.”
In Honeydukes, Eddie splits off with the pretense of going to examine the assortment of muggle candy but in reality he’s watching Elenora hold onto Andy’s arm as he bends down to look at the toffees-in reality he’s having a hard time keeping his heart from thudding out of his chest when she tilts her face up and kisses him on the lips because, because-
He can’t hear anything except the rush of blood pounding in his ears and his own voice when he says, “I think I’m going back to Hogwarts, I hope you two have a good time,” and he forgets to smile.
And he’s halfway up the hill when he hears his name, “Eddie! Eddie, stop!” and it’s Andy, of course it’s Andy. He quickens his pace but Andy’s always been faster-he’s seen the back of Andy’s head bathed in morning sunlight more times than he can count. Andy grabs his arm and he pulls Eddie around and he asks, “Are you okay Eddie?”
“I’m sorry Andy,” Eddie says and he doesn’t know what the words coming out of his mouth are but his throat feels choked up and it’s an effort to get the words out without his voice breaking, “I’m selfish, I’m sorry Andy. I’m sorry.”
Andy says, “What?” and “Eddie, what?” but Eddie is already pulling his arm out of Andy’s hand and for the first time he’s walking away.
___________
He’s grateful that Ron isn’t in the dormitory when he gets back. He’s collected himself during the walk but he still doesn’t talking. He changes into a worn shirt and shorts anyway before crawling into bed and closing his curtains. He breathes and keeps his eyes open in the dark and thinks about how stupid he feels, thinks about how irrationally he had just behaved and wonders if Andy will forgive him before he’s exhausted enough to fall asleep.
When he dreams, he’s walking in the woods again but Andy’s hand is intertwined with his. When Andy turns his head, it’s Eddie that leans up and kisses him-just a simple press of lips to lips but the emotion pushes into his chest and squeezes until Eddie can’t breathe. When he wakes up and kicks open a curtain, the sky outside his window has only begun to change from black to blue. Eddie feels sick as he sits up in his bed and puts his forehead on his knees, concentrating on his breathing.
One of his father’s old friends had been institutionalized for homosexuality. His dad had casually mentioned it over dinner once after returning from a business trip across the country. I hear electroshock therapy works for that, his mother had replied and they had moved on to a different topic of conversation entirely.
Eddie doesn’t want to be institutionalized. He presses his forehead into his knees and wills himself not to cry.
part two