no direction seems to get me there...
so i am at the point again where i'm clingy in my relationship. and its stupid. its not like i don't want to hang out with other people, and its not like i don't want jeff to hang out with other people, its just that i like to spend time with him. i find myself getting easily annoyed lately. and very selfish. i'm not sure why i have started to act this way. its like any time jeff is not with me, i wonder why. like for some reason i expect him to want to spend 24/7 with me. i think he might be getting a little sick of me, which is understandable. i know i get annoying. its just that, i dunno. i guess i am at the point again where i think jeff should be tired of me and moving on. and i know he isn't going to, its just that its almost been 6 months...which is a long time, and i'm getting freaked out again! i'm really not sure why...but whatever. i guess it just happens...or maybe i am just crazy.
-> I miss lenora. we haven't talked in something like 3 weeks. i don't even really know what is going on with her life. i guess i haven't really been a very good friend in that sense ([{sorry}])
-> Lately i have felt like my life is going no where. i have no real goals in my life. i am already 19 and i don't have a clue what i want to do for the rest of my life except to get married in a few years. i would love to go to a make-up school, but i seem to be so not motivated. it doesn't really matter how bad i want something now-a-days, i am just too lazy to go after it! i wish i knew what i was supposed to do.
-> I want to run away. leave this life i have and start over. well....except take jeff with me. i wish i had some money, i would seriously just quit my job and go somewhere. but i am so broke. i think i just need something new. i feel like there is no excitement. nothing to look forward to in life. i mean ya, theres jeff, but it just seems like our dreams feel so far away. i mean honestly, 3 years until we get married, thats so far away, i guess it just seems kinda hard to believe right now. i think today was just an all around bad day.
-> I don't want to write anymore. so good night.
(I love you...)
-> I miss lenora. we haven't talked in something like 3 weeks. i don't even really know what is going on with her life. i guess i haven't really been a very good friend in that sense ([{sorry}])
-> Lately i have felt like my life is going no where. i have no real goals in my life. i am already 19 and i don't have a clue what i want to do for the rest of my life except to get married in a few years. i would love to go to a make-up school, but i seem to be so not motivated. it doesn't really matter how bad i want something now-a-days, i am just too lazy to go after it! i wish i knew what i was supposed to do.
-> I want to run away. leave this life i have and start over. well....except take jeff with me. i wish i had some money, i would seriously just quit my job and go somewhere. but i am so broke. i think i just need something new. i feel like there is no excitement. nothing to look forward to in life. i mean ya, theres jeff, but it just seems like our dreams feel so far away. i mean honestly, 3 years until we get married, thats so far away, i guess it just seems kinda hard to believe right now. i think today was just an all around bad day.
-> I don't want to write anymore. so good night.
(I love you...)