sappy-ness in not becoming
i think there is something wrong with me. like seriously. for the past 3 days i have wanted to do absolutely nothing but cuddle and be with Jeff. now usually yes, i wanna hang out with him and whatever, but lately i have felt threatened. by whom i am unsure. its not like i feel that he has lost interest or that he's getting sick of me, its just that i don't want to do anything without him. I feel as though i am going to lose him... which is ubsurd i know. i don't know whats wrong with me. i have never EVER been like this before. and then last night, all i did was whine. now i was having a seriously crappy "ladies day" but still. i do NOT whine! and then i was like that again tonight. what am i doing? you know what i almost said to him the other night....those 3 crazy words...we were laying on the couch and he looked adorable and i was sooo close to saying them, and then i was like!!!!! what am i thinking!!!!!!! what if he doesn't say anything back, or what if he doesn't feel the same way about me at all!!! so there went that. and then again tonight i came close to saying it...WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! that scares me. knowing how i think i might feel. i'm so scared of getting hurt, and losing this one too. i mean jeff is so amazing, and makes me feel loved, but then i think...is this just all too good to be true? i mean we don't NEED to spend every minute together, but lately, i just can't seem to get enough of him. IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!! and i am unsure what to do. someone please tell me. maybe it would be better if i really knew how he felt, but i can't just up and ask him. that would be wrong. then i think maybe all this crazyness has to do with me being sick. i always act strange when i am sick and maybe this is just one more thing. i dunno. maybe i'm (*whispers*) "in love with him"...is it really that crazy!?