changes to be made.
this journal is now totally dedicated to my thoughts, during any given day, about meena, and my thoughts in general about life.
thereas, giving this journal some profound purpose.
today was thanks giving (or yesterday, but none the less) and all i really wanted to do was forget the day. I ate my food, i did my football watching...it just lacked everything it needed to make the day good.
Meena.
without her around most anything can seem lackluster, and unable to proform. she's like BASF...they don't make alot of the things you buy, they make alot the things you buy, BETTER.
and god does she make life worth living. otherwise i haven't got much to myself...i am trying to land a job somewhere, but the market in this area is horrendous. i just need the money to buy meena some nice things. which i thought of alot today...what i wanted to get her. to tell the truth, besides eating my turkey, i didn't do shit besides think about meena. she dominated my mind today because its like that everyday, i just don't announce it all the time. this time was more though...she was almost IN my head, talking to me, telling me to get her nothing, as she would be happier that way. but she's a liar...she'd love me to buy her some fantastic looking diamonds. i wanna get her a beautiful diamond necklace. she deserves it. she is my beautiful little wife. she said she was gonna buy me an xbox 360, which is bogus, because thats 400 bucks...and she knows i always must outdo her. therefore 800 bucks on jewels? maybe...maybe she wants something more practical. maybe she wants me. i know she wants me. i know i want her. its all i can think of, or want. i don't want that 360...course if she wasn't an equation i would take it for sure, but...if its her, or that stupid system? i take her 100 times out of 10. if she can only see me with that system in her hands, so be it...but she'll be leaving with alot more than she came with...and that might include me. or she isn't leaving period. and she takes her throne as wife, and queen to be. i love meena so much it almost makes other people obsolete. people i could live with her, and her alone...without any interaction with other people, and without anything else. i could live in a deep dark cold cabin alone with her, and be happier than if i ahd a loft apartment in NYC and was worth 5 billion.
and thats no fucking joke.
she's gonna make me so happy, my eyes will fall out. she does it to me hardcore as it is now...but when we wed...jesus...i'll be outraged at how unfiar my happiness levels are compared to the fucking world.
i love her for it. she loves me that much too, which makes me wonder if there is such thing as fate...soulmates...some of that shit, because how i found her, and what we've become is something unreal, and fairytale like. its too good to be true all the time, but all the time, its true. its just fucking great...i love it. being this comfortable with a woman is something that NEVER comes with me...i hate women...they are all not to be trusted...but she's not a woman. she's a goddess..diff.
i am spending the rest of my life with her, and nothing makes me wanna live more than that.
well, actually, nothing else makes me wanna live.
I LOVE YOU MEENA. for real. its forever.
thereas, giving this journal some profound purpose.
today was thanks giving (or yesterday, but none the less) and all i really wanted to do was forget the day. I ate my food, i did my football watching...it just lacked everything it needed to make the day good.
Meena.
without her around most anything can seem lackluster, and unable to proform. she's like BASF...they don't make alot of the things you buy, they make alot the things you buy, BETTER.
and god does she make life worth living. otherwise i haven't got much to myself...i am trying to land a job somewhere, but the market in this area is horrendous. i just need the money to buy meena some nice things. which i thought of alot today...what i wanted to get her. to tell the truth, besides eating my turkey, i didn't do shit besides think about meena. she dominated my mind today because its like that everyday, i just don't announce it all the time. this time was more though...she was almost IN my head, talking to me, telling me to get her nothing, as she would be happier that way. but she's a liar...she'd love me to buy her some fantastic looking diamonds. i wanna get her a beautiful diamond necklace. she deserves it. she is my beautiful little wife. she said she was gonna buy me an xbox 360, which is bogus, because thats 400 bucks...and she knows i always must outdo her. therefore 800 bucks on jewels? maybe...maybe she wants something more practical. maybe she wants me. i know she wants me. i know i want her. its all i can think of, or want. i don't want that 360...course if she wasn't an equation i would take it for sure, but...if its her, or that stupid system? i take her 100 times out of 10. if she can only see me with that system in her hands, so be it...but she'll be leaving with alot more than she came with...and that might include me. or she isn't leaving period. and she takes her throne as wife, and queen to be. i love meena so much it almost makes other people obsolete. people i could live with her, and her alone...without any interaction with other people, and without anything else. i could live in a deep dark cold cabin alone with her, and be happier than if i ahd a loft apartment in NYC and was worth 5 billion.
and thats no fucking joke.
she's gonna make me so happy, my eyes will fall out. she does it to me hardcore as it is now...but when we wed...jesus...i'll be outraged at how unfiar my happiness levels are compared to the fucking world.
i love her for it. she loves me that much too, which makes me wonder if there is such thing as fate...soulmates...some of that shit, because how i found her, and what we've become is something unreal, and fairytale like. its too good to be true all the time, but all the time, its true. its just fucking great...i love it. being this comfortable with a woman is something that NEVER comes with me...i hate women...they are all not to be trusted...but she's not a woman. she's a goddess..diff.
i am spending the rest of my life with her, and nothing makes me wanna live more than that.
well, actually, nothing else makes me wanna live.
I LOVE YOU MEENA. for real. its forever.