tell me what you thought about when you were gone
well, i finally broke down, and everything got to me, so i stayed home today. i couldnt take school anymore, or church. i like church, and last year i really enjoyed it because it wasnt too much, but this year, all the lock-ins are longer, and this week, we're required to go 5 days in a row...i think that's rediculous. tomorrow's lock-in is a fast for good friday, and i understand that, but then julie said that we weren't going to be sleeping all night...i don't understand that at all, and i'm really mad that she's doing that. she claims that we have rest periods and we'll be busy all night, but i say that it's bullshit, and im extremely mad about it. i understand the fasting, but she wants us to fast until like 1:30!!!!!!!! last year it was until 12 and that was REALLY hard, but she says she wants us to be hungry...well hello! i will be hungry!!! its also absolutely rediculous that she's MAKING us stay up all friday night! it's not necessary. she says it's a dicipline thing, but i say its a way to get sick...not eating for 19 hours, and not sleeping for 36 hours...not to mention waking up early on sunday for the easter service...i can't do it anymore. she's taken up the last 3 day weekends we have for the year with her stupid MANDATORY retreats (as if everything else isnt mandatory?!?!?) i really cant handle it anymore, and i dont even like it. im really close to just telling her to keep my deposit, and that im not going on the mission trip, because it's rediculous everything that she's requiring us to do.PLUS- half the time, a bunch of people don't go, and it's not fair to everyone else that does go to help! some of it's her fault, and she forgets that a couple people have a life outside of church. she always asks me to helkp out, and if i say no, she makes me feel guilty, along with everyone else putting a guilt trip on me. i really dont even want to go on the mission trip, and i really dont like church anymore. i mean, i dont even like some of the people. im almost ready to quit. what gets to me the most is saying "well, now we're getting really close, and i haven't made you work that hard until now" WELL FREAKING HELLO! SCHOOL SAYS THE SAME THING, AND ASSIGNS 785483 PROJECTS NOW! im really close to dropping out of the mission trip, and i dont want to go.
well, now that i've said that and explained the reason for staying home, i thought id mention that dreyfoos sent their letters out today. i dont know when i'll get mineim not sure if i want it. im more excited for mckenzie to get hers. i think school would be amazing if she were there. i would be able to do projects with her, and sleep over he rhouse on school nights, and get ready for prom and everything with her...it would be SOOO much fun..but im afraid there will be more drama in our friendship if we go to the same school...actually, i doubt it. theres no drama with melissa or mallory or any of those people, so it will be just grand. i hope i hope, i really do hope she comes to my school. i would love it more then anything. shes my best friend in the whole world, and i love her so much. i wish we could go to school together. im babysitting with her on jupiter island tonight after the seder (at CHURCH!!!)
people from school are going to city place i think, and for once, i cant go, but i would feel bad making my mom drive me there anyways. i bet zak will be able to go the one time i cant haha. that always happens to me. oh well. zak is a great kid, and it isnt anything serious, which i like, but sometimes it gets frustrating, but i like it nonetheless. i hope i didnt miss too much at school today...but i got a 4 day weekend! hahahaha.
well, now that i've said that and explained the reason for staying home, i thought id mention that dreyfoos sent their letters out today. i dont know when i'll get mineim not sure if i want it. im more excited for mckenzie to get hers. i think school would be amazing if she were there. i would be able to do projects with her, and sleep over he rhouse on school nights, and get ready for prom and everything with her...it would be SOOO much fun..but im afraid there will be more drama in our friendship if we go to the same school...actually, i doubt it. theres no drama with melissa or mallory or any of those people, so it will be just grand. i hope i hope, i really do hope she comes to my school. i would love it more then anything. shes my best friend in the whole world, and i love her so much. i wish we could go to school together. im babysitting with her on jupiter island tonight after the seder (at CHURCH!!!)
people from school are going to city place i think, and for once, i cant go, but i would feel bad making my mom drive me there anyways. i bet zak will be able to go the one time i cant haha. that always happens to me. oh well. zak is a great kid, and it isnt anything serious, which i like, but sometimes it gets frustrating, but i like it nonetheless. i hope i didnt miss too much at school today...but i got a 4 day weekend! hahahaha.