When you're left with only a bullet, I'll bring the trigger and a promise to pull it
Tonight I was conveyed the story about a Native American shaman who would swallow those around him who were suffering. As horrible as this sounds, it served a purpose. The shaman would then regurgitate the person, leaving them unchanged saved for the removal of their suffering. He had literally taken their pain and suffering and made it there own. Now this is folklore, but I would love to possess such an ability [although I think I'd try to find a different way to absorb their suffering rather than consumption].
I've often questioned, though I know the answer to [at least my way of interpretting things], why bad things happen to good people. Just because I accept and understand that it is part of life, and they teach us valuable lessons, it doesn't mean I have to like it. Especially when I am witness to friends going through hard times. I just want to take them to a safe haven of some sort and keep them protected from all that will harm them. I wish I was like that shaman, who was apparently on an episode of X-Files as well. I was compared to him, which I took as a great compliment, but I wish I could do more. There's always that wonder, did I truly do all that I could?
Despite a difficult night...fuck that, a difficult weekend, tonight ended great. Hanging out with four great guys, just being ourselves and having fun. Made me miss old nights of just hanging out in the lobby. No complications, no drama, just killing time and sharing laughs. Things have changed, changed a lot. Not to say everything, but enough that it's causing ripples in all threads of life. But for that period of time at the end of the night, it felt like nothing had changed, and what had, didn't matter. Thanks, guys, for that. I needed that. And thanks to all that have been there for me this weekend. I needed that as well.
I think I can sleep tonight. I haven't been doing much sleeping or eating this weekend. Simply hasn't crossed my mind, which if you know me, food and me go hand and hand. And for the sleep deprivation, its either little to none, or constantly interrupted, neither of which is good, even for me. But I've just finished a big bowl of food, yet I'm still hungry, and my eyes grow heavy. Sleep calls, and I'm not one to turn down such a generous invitation.
I'll leave you with this, although it probably won't hold the same humor for you as it does for me:
Mike E.: "This song is about gun control."
Nick 1.0: *pause for digestion of that comment* "...What?!"
I've often questioned, though I know the answer to [at least my way of interpretting things], why bad things happen to good people. Just because I accept and understand that it is part of life, and they teach us valuable lessons, it doesn't mean I have to like it. Especially when I am witness to friends going through hard times. I just want to take them to a safe haven of some sort and keep them protected from all that will harm them. I wish I was like that shaman, who was apparently on an episode of X-Files as well. I was compared to him, which I took as a great compliment, but I wish I could do more. There's always that wonder, did I truly do all that I could?
Despite a difficult night...fuck that, a difficult weekend, tonight ended great. Hanging out with four great guys, just being ourselves and having fun. Made me miss old nights of just hanging out in the lobby. No complications, no drama, just killing time and sharing laughs. Things have changed, changed a lot. Not to say everything, but enough that it's causing ripples in all threads of life. But for that period of time at the end of the night, it felt like nothing had changed, and what had, didn't matter. Thanks, guys, for that. I needed that. And thanks to all that have been there for me this weekend. I needed that as well.
I think I can sleep tonight. I haven't been doing much sleeping or eating this weekend. Simply hasn't crossed my mind, which if you know me, food and me go hand and hand. And for the sleep deprivation, its either little to none, or constantly interrupted, neither of which is good, even for me. But I've just finished a big bowl of food, yet I'm still hungry, and my eyes grow heavy. Sleep calls, and I'm not one to turn down such a generous invitation.
I'll leave you with this, although it probably won't hold the same humor for you as it does for me:
Mike E.: "This song is about gun control."
Nick 1.0: *pause for digestion of that comment* "...What?!"