"i leave a trail of fire across this desert just to see the desperation in your eyes"
i'm back..
so tonight i found a skateboard outside and brought it home so adam and i would have a new toy. i really hope to learn to at least just ride the damn thing at some point. i saw it on my way to the library and then just picked it up 45 minutes later on my way back.
recently, i've been really distracted. i'm apologizing to the lot of you with this. going to bootcamp in the winter had me stressed out all to hell, but now it looks like i'm getting an immediate discharge/re-enlistment so i can leave in march for nuclear. i am sorry though.
i've submitted (i believe) all of the documents i needed to in order to switch my job in the navy to nuclear engineering. you see, my prior enlistment was for 5 years and then they consolidated my job with another and changed it to a 6 year program, so i was given the choice to switch my career if i chose to. i chose nuclear because a) it's the hardest job to get into and i scored well above the requirements for it, and b) by the time i'm done i'll be able to submit the credits from the navy and my credits from wvu to wvu and i'll receive a degree in nuclear engineering (the navy has all but the english credits).
so i'm going to be enlisted for 6 years. i have 2 years of school to complete in charleston sc, and then hopefully i'll get taken on to teach there if i'm within the top 15% of my graduating class.
oh yeah, my job sucks. i take advantage of peoples' trust each and every day because i know how to sell. see, i raise funds for a group called 'the california organization of police and sheriffs'. now not only do they only receive %15 percent of what is raised (after they pay the company i work for) but they also use the money for things like conventions in hawaii. they give very little money to the programs that they claim to be supporting. the worst part is, i'm one of the best callers they have even though i don't follow their rules. most notably: i don't leave my conscience at the door. normally, we're supposed to hard pitch older folks and make them feel bad so that they'll pledge. i think that's fucked up, so i mostly try for the people from middle-upper class. amazingly enough, this works for me but not anyone else (karma and robin hood) because these old people barely have enough to get by and still want to try to donate. goddamn it's fucked up. i do my best though not to cheat or lie to people (like i'm supposed to) and i still end up being one of the top callers (gotta be karma).
i've been waiting to get that last rant/justification out for a while. i don't know much else to say. my job is killing me morally and i'm afraid as hell to face any of my friends anymore. i hate having a soul i see as ugly.
not much else to say. i'm looking forward to heading out and completing bootcamp even though it won't be for quite a few more months. at least i'll be here to hang out with people. my hermit mode is almost over...i'd like to say that i know why i wasn't talking to people, but i have no idea. i did learn something though: it's nearly impossible to restart a close friendship after you closed yourself off for no reason and without any warning. seems obvious now. damnit.
"let the devil come"
so tonight i found a skateboard outside and brought it home so adam and i would have a new toy. i really hope to learn to at least just ride the damn thing at some point. i saw it on my way to the library and then just picked it up 45 minutes later on my way back.
recently, i've been really distracted. i'm apologizing to the lot of you with this. going to bootcamp in the winter had me stressed out all to hell, but now it looks like i'm getting an immediate discharge/re-enlistment so i can leave in march for nuclear. i am sorry though.
i've submitted (i believe) all of the documents i needed to in order to switch my job in the navy to nuclear engineering. you see, my prior enlistment was for 5 years and then they consolidated my job with another and changed it to a 6 year program, so i was given the choice to switch my career if i chose to. i chose nuclear because a) it's the hardest job to get into and i scored well above the requirements for it, and b) by the time i'm done i'll be able to submit the credits from the navy and my credits from wvu to wvu and i'll receive a degree in nuclear engineering (the navy has all but the english credits).
so i'm going to be enlisted for 6 years. i have 2 years of school to complete in charleston sc, and then hopefully i'll get taken on to teach there if i'm within the top 15% of my graduating class.
oh yeah, my job sucks. i take advantage of peoples' trust each and every day because i know how to sell. see, i raise funds for a group called 'the california organization of police and sheriffs'. now not only do they only receive %15 percent of what is raised (after they pay the company i work for) but they also use the money for things like conventions in hawaii. they give very little money to the programs that they claim to be supporting. the worst part is, i'm one of the best callers they have even though i don't follow their rules. most notably: i don't leave my conscience at the door. normally, we're supposed to hard pitch older folks and make them feel bad so that they'll pledge. i think that's fucked up, so i mostly try for the people from middle-upper class. amazingly enough, this works for me but not anyone else (karma and robin hood) because these old people barely have enough to get by and still want to try to donate. goddamn it's fucked up. i do my best though not to cheat or lie to people (like i'm supposed to) and i still end up being one of the top callers (gotta be karma).
i've been waiting to get that last rant/justification out for a while. i don't know much else to say. my job is killing me morally and i'm afraid as hell to face any of my friends anymore. i hate having a soul i see as ugly.
not much else to say. i'm looking forward to heading out and completing bootcamp even though it won't be for quite a few more months. at least i'll be here to hang out with people. my hermit mode is almost over...i'd like to say that i know why i wasn't talking to people, but i have no idea. i did learn something though: it's nearly impossible to restart a close friendship after you closed yourself off for no reason and without any warning. seems obvious now. damnit.
"let the devil come"