Idaho...my new home
It's not bad here...just...different
I finally got my bed set up and my room pretty much all situated last night. When I got in bed I thought 'wow...my bed seems bigger...and empty'...which is weird because it's not like I never slept alone...in fact I rarely slept next to anyone. Well...I guess that's not really true. I went over to Gordons quite a bit in the last month but I rarely slept in my bed with someone. Anyway...the point is...the reason my bed felt empty is because I didn't have my baby kitty taking up half of it. I miss that ass hole sooooo much! He was a jerk and he was crazy...but he was mine. I am the worste mother there is! I just gave him away like I didn't even care about him! He was so scared and I bet he was so lonely in that shelter in a cage...my poor baby...oh..best not to dwell on these things
I applied for nearly every job in town I beleive...and got carple tunnel in the process. I have an interview on Tues. for the K-mart pharmacy though. That's the one I'm hoping for...keep your fingers crossed for me.
As for how much I miss everyone
Oh golly do I miss people...well mostly just two people
the morning I left I was laying in Gordons bed while he was in the shower and I started crying a bit. Usually he takes super long showers and even after his shower he is doin' stuff in the bathroom for a while...God knows what. Anyway...this time he came right out after his shower and caught me offgaurd...crying. oops. He just came and layed down with me and didn't say anything. As I layed on his shoulder I tried to remember everything about him. The way the skin on the back of his neck wrinkles because he surfs too much and I think he forgets to put sunscreen on the back of his neck or something. His jaw, his big chin, his thin lips that he puckers weirdly sometimes when he is trying not to smile or if he is concentrating really hard on something or trying not to fall asleep. Most of all...the way he cuddles. He is THE best cuddler I have ever met in my life. He's just right...not too much and not too demanding of me. Sometimes when our arms weren't directly around eachother we'd just lay on opposite sides of the beds and just put our arms out to touch eachothers hands or bodies.
Now...I wish I hadn't worked so hard and studied to remember all of these things. It's all I can think about when I lay in bed at night. How I wish his wrinkly neck was there to kiss and how I wish I could just hold his hand.
I miss him....a lot...and it's not even the fact that I've been gone for a while...I can handle that easy...it's the fact that I don't know when I will see him again...and I know that when I do it will probably be different because he can't wait around for me and I can't wait around for him. I just have to remember that when things are meant to be...they happen
anyway..that's all
I finally got my bed set up and my room pretty much all situated last night. When I got in bed I thought 'wow...my bed seems bigger...and empty'...which is weird because it's not like I never slept alone...in fact I rarely slept next to anyone. Well...I guess that's not really true. I went over to Gordons quite a bit in the last month but I rarely slept in my bed with someone. Anyway...the point is...the reason my bed felt empty is because I didn't have my baby kitty taking up half of it. I miss that ass hole sooooo much! He was a jerk and he was crazy...but he was mine. I am the worste mother there is! I just gave him away like I didn't even care about him! He was so scared and I bet he was so lonely in that shelter in a cage...my poor baby...oh..best not to dwell on these things
I applied for nearly every job in town I beleive...and got carple tunnel in the process. I have an interview on Tues. for the K-mart pharmacy though. That's the one I'm hoping for...keep your fingers crossed for me.
As for how much I miss everyone
Oh golly do I miss people...well mostly just two people
the morning I left I was laying in Gordons bed while he was in the shower and I started crying a bit. Usually he takes super long showers and even after his shower he is doin' stuff in the bathroom for a while...God knows what. Anyway...this time he came right out after his shower and caught me offgaurd...crying. oops. He just came and layed down with me and didn't say anything. As I layed on his shoulder I tried to remember everything about him. The way the skin on the back of his neck wrinkles because he surfs too much and I think he forgets to put sunscreen on the back of his neck or something. His jaw, his big chin, his thin lips that he puckers weirdly sometimes when he is trying not to smile or if he is concentrating really hard on something or trying not to fall asleep. Most of all...the way he cuddles. He is THE best cuddler I have ever met in my life. He's just right...not too much and not too demanding of me. Sometimes when our arms weren't directly around eachother we'd just lay on opposite sides of the beds and just put our arms out to touch eachothers hands or bodies.
Now...I wish I hadn't worked so hard and studied to remember all of these things. It's all I can think about when I lay in bed at night. How I wish his wrinkly neck was there to kiss and how I wish I could just hold his hand.
I miss him....a lot...and it's not even the fact that I've been gone for a while...I can handle that easy...it's the fact that I don't know when I will see him again...and I know that when I do it will probably be different because he can't wait around for me and I can't wait around for him. I just have to remember that when things are meant to be...they happen
anyway..that's all