I am having a really hard time
Dealing with this right now...
Maybe I am just having a hard time dealing with life in general. I keep just pushing all of these thoughts away because I can't handle it! I can not handle having someone elses happiness in my hands. I can not handle knowing that someone cares about me this much and feeling like I could never care about them as much. I can not deal with people crying because of me every time I talk to them. I get angry...I know that I get angry and I know why..I am frustrated that I am supposed to talk about my feelings and what is going on and for some reason my feelings will NOT come out of my mouth!!!! So I get angry, it is the only feeling that I apparently am okay with showing or something...everything else just manifests itself as anger..I can not handle my own feelings and my own thoughts...I am trying SOOO hard to run away but you won't let me. I am trying so hard to just make you go away so that I will stop hurting you but i can not and you won't let me....I am holding on to things that I shouldn't be holding on to...I need to figure my shit out
I am not ready for this
I am 22 and I can not face the fact that I could have already found who I am supposed to be with at such a young age...I guess that maybe I am being alittle bit selfish..I still want to be young so bad...I can not handle this at ALL...how can you be so sure of this when I am not sure of anything? it drives me nuts!
Maybe I am just having a hard time dealing with life in general. I keep just pushing all of these thoughts away because I can't handle it! I can not handle having someone elses happiness in my hands. I can not handle knowing that someone cares about me this much and feeling like I could never care about them as much. I can not deal with people crying because of me every time I talk to them. I get angry...I know that I get angry and I know why..I am frustrated that I am supposed to talk about my feelings and what is going on and for some reason my feelings will NOT come out of my mouth!!!! So I get angry, it is the only feeling that I apparently am okay with showing or something...everything else just manifests itself as anger..I can not handle my own feelings and my own thoughts...I am trying SOOO hard to run away but you won't let me. I am trying so hard to just make you go away so that I will stop hurting you but i can not and you won't let me....I am holding on to things that I shouldn't be holding on to...I need to figure my shit out
I am not ready for this
I am 22 and I can not face the fact that I could have already found who I am supposed to be with at such a young age...I guess that maybe I am being alittle bit selfish..I still want to be young so bad...I can not handle this at ALL...how can you be so sure of this when I am not sure of anything? it drives me nuts!