Accidental Voice Post

[emperors_friend]

*sound of something sniffing and then oinking*

Huh, what do you have there, Nephry? A journal? Oh this is that one they use at Hogwarts! I forgot that Jade got one of these. Looks like it's recording, too.

Hey kids, your mean old Care of Magical Creatures Professor fell down the stairs so he'll be out for a few more days. That guy's really not good

Comments

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[xth_skeith]

...!!! Jade fell down STAIRS???

[xth_skeith]

As if getting attacked in the forest wasn't enough!! That idiot clutz!!

[emperors_friend]

Yeah, he fell down them yesterday and dislocated a hip. He's been through worse than even the forest thing so I wouldn't worry too much about the guy if I were you.

[xth_skeith]

Dumbass...

I was wondering why he was missing for so long. Yeesh.

[emperors_friend]

Part of that is my fault. I had him babysit my precious pigs for a few weeks since I had some business to take care of.

[xth_skeith]

...Ugh. Pigs? Hate those things. They're aggressive and if you're not careful they'll kill and eat you.

[emperors_friend]

How can you hate them? They're positively adorable and would never eat anyone.

[xth_skeith]

No. More people get killed by pigs than by sharks.

Because pigs find humans delicious.

In fact, when they smell ham cooking on the grill they not only KNOW that it's pig meat, they think it smells GOOD.

[emperors_friend]

My darlings love me to much to ever hurt me and I them.

They would never think that since ham is disgusting. Actually, that sounds like something Jade would say.

[xth_skeith]

I'm not making any of that up, that's completely true.

But yes, spending all the time I spend around him might be the reason for that.

[emperors_friend]

Well, my pigs are nothing like that. They're nice and would never eat me or each other.

Oh, you hang out with Jade that much?

[xth_skeith]

Ever since I dragged him inside after the whole forest attack, yeah. We kinda became buddies after that.

[emperors_friend]

Oh, you're that Haseo guy that Jade mentioned, the one that likes men in dresses, aren't you?

[xth_skeith]

...Did that crazy guy say that?

Must've still been cranky from when he was a cute little demon child who let me carry him around on piggyback.

[emperors_friend]

Jade let you give him a piggyback ride when he was a child?

[xth_skeith]

Yup. And I'd been making him lunches and forcing him to take lunch breaks during school.