(no subject)
Once again. Bitter. I'm not even sure how to explain it. I'm calmer than I was before, but not feeling any better about the whole thing. I'm going to leave names out of this (with the exception of John and I) because those who already know the situation are the only ones who need to at this point. But, apparently, several people are upset with John and I because we "have our own little world". John and I spend most of the day on the same wavelength, when one of us brings something up, no matter how odd it may be, the other is never really surprised. If one hadn't brought it up, the other inevitably would have. Personally, I think it's great. We've just connected on some strange level, and it makes the time we hang out that much more interesting. But now, a few people have ended up feeling left out as a result. Now, i don't completely understand this. It's not as if John and I run off and only hang out with each other all day. We spend an incredible amount of time with them as well. But apparently, that's not enough. I suppose John and I just aren't allowed to only have a conversation that only interests the two of us. But you know what? That's fine. If that's going to be the deciding factor in someone's feelings toward me, then I'm prepared to deal with it. If any of you are reading this, I am sincerely sorry for having done something to make you feel left out or unwanted or anything else along those lines. But it is not my job to keep you entertained. If I had asked someone to come and spend time with me, I would do everything I could to make them a part of whatever we were doing. BUT if someone just wants to come and hang out and, more or less, invite themself over (which I don't mind at all) I do not feel the need to keep them entertained. They joined me. If they want to be a part of what's going on, I'll be more than happy to accommodate them so that we can all enjoy ourselves. But if you expect to just come in and have me drop everything I'm doing just because YOU DON'T LIKE IT, then I apologize ahead of time for coming off as rude. But I don't feel it's rude at all. My job in life is not to simply occupy your time. If I don't feel like going out and doing something and you can't be happy enough just spending time with me, then by all means, go find someone else to hang out with for awhile. I won't be offended if you tell me you're bored with just sitting around. I will be more than happy to hang out with you another time when the circumstances are more accommodating for both of us. But don't get mad at me because I didn't want to do what you wanted to. I've spent the majority of my life doing everything that everyone else wants in order to keep them happy, but I'm finally done. My friends' happiness is still the most important thing to me, but if I can't easily provide it while making myself happy as well, then I suppose I'll just let them find new friends. Because I'm done catering to people. I realize that I've spent too long putting off my own happiness so that everyone around me remains happy when I'm there. If John and I get into a conversation about something and you feel left out, then there is a very simple solution to that problem: TALK TO US ABOUT IT. For what it's worth, I am very sorry that whatever I did has hurt you. But that's all I'm sorry for. What we did wasn't wrong.