Ralston Quotes
Background: for those of you who don't know or didn't have her, Mrs. Ralston is a funny, panda bear-like, heavy set, Korean teacher that others as well as I had for stats. I believe she has ADD or something because she was never on topic and consequentially won the award for "Most likely to go off on tangents" award from the senior class. Not only would she have kids fall asleep on her but in the meantime I would take quotes of the many amusing things she would tell us. Packing up for school I came across quotes from about the first two months of class, so here they are. Read and be amused.
"This is called rounding." (Forgot to mention these are all 11th and 12th graders)
9/11/03
"I'm not going crazy!"
"Did you know first grade chairs are bigger than kindergarden chairs?"
[Drew dots on overhead to explain correlation] "I just started seeing crickets when I saw those dots."
9/12/03
"Be nice to your calculator."
9/15/03
"My cousin's just nuts."
"I couldn't win a care-bear for the life of me."
"I won; it doesn't matter that I was playing against seven year-olds."
9/22/03
"My legs do weigh a ton but they feel like they hurt."
9/25/03
"Someone snatched my recycle bin."
"I'm sleepy."
"I don't understand why my husband bought me a grumpy shirt."
9/29/03
"When I'm comparing pies I'm going to use power"
Note: she referenced pies with a starved look on her face about every five minutes for the rest of class (about 30 min.)
"If you don't want to pay attention, that's fine........but be quiet!"
10/1/03
[In ref. to her son] "He wants to be--what's that thing that catches the ball?"
"Did I tell you we're getting two dogs?"
[In ref. to dogs] "The bigger one jumped in my lap, plopped down, and said, 'I'm comfy now.'"
[Her cell phone rings] "It's not me! It's not me!" [Goes and answers her cell phone.]
"Just because you hear a beeping noise it doesn't mean Jeff is beeping."
"In my case if I'm looking at the chocolate I'm gaining weight."
[After talking about being Korean] "If i didn't go to college I'd probably be disowned."
Ralston: "If you go to L.A. what do you find?"
Chris Sanchez [a beaner]: "MEXICANS!"
Ralston [ignoring his response]: "Latinos, african americans..."
10/7/03
"How many people make beds just before they go to sleep? Meee!"
[Imitating her daughter] "Mommy, its a yellow light; why are you slowing down?"
"By the way, I think my daughter's friends father--I think--is a police sergeant, so don't get in any trouble."
"I never lied on my drivers license and I've had it since I was 16 and I've gained some weight but I've never lied on my drivers license."
"My kids always go pee before they get in the shower."
"Im traning my kids right: my son leaves the toilet seat down."
"Marlene's sister is getting married." (To this day I have no utter clue who this person is)
Ralston: "We got the cutest puppies. We picked them up yesterday. Did I tell you?"
Class nearly in unison: "Yes"
Ralston: "My dogs..."
10/10/03
"Want to see a picture of my daughter?"
"Last night we went to McDonalds and we had to wait for 30 minutes."
"I've done this before and I got a nasty note from a parent."
10/13/03
"Remember the unibomber? Mrs. [So and so] had him as a professor."
10/14/03
"You know those red bulls? Never give a little kid one of those!"
[In ref. to her daughter] "She thought her teacher moved all the words on her paper [spelling test] so that she could mark a bunch of x's on her paper."
[Imitating her daughter] "My teacher marked all of these wrong when I spelled all of them right."
"First graders!"
10/15/03
"I made a spider yesterday!"
10/17/03
"Just remember, a paperclip is not a weapon."
"This is what happened in second period today: I didn't tell them what to do and they just went crazy. They told me they were going to drive the rest of their teachers crazy too!" [After she gave us spinners]
"I went to McDonalds once and spent $20 just on McDonalds toys."
[She taught us to draw circles, then after] "Did you get it?"
Few students: "No." [Ralston frowns]
10/31/03
"You know what the highlight of the day was? I gave them a spelling test."
1/29/04
[She wanted to show us how to finance cars] "I spent so much time talking about my kids in 3rd period, so I have time for this."
2/5/04
"Have you ever seen a Korean that doesn't play a musical instrument?"
2/9/04
"Can you do confidence intervals? You can't but your calculator can. Can you punch in the right numbers to get your confidence interval?"
2/11/04
[Someone asked her to do a problem on the board] "On the board? You're going to make me do work?"
?/?/?
"My husband is taking all next week off so I'll be the only one working. Can I bring [my kids] here?"
"If I have to work so do all of you!"
"This is called rounding." (Forgot to mention these are all 11th and 12th graders)
9/11/03
"I'm not going crazy!"
"Did you know first grade chairs are bigger than kindergarden chairs?"
[Drew dots on overhead to explain correlation] "I just started seeing crickets when I saw those dots."
9/12/03
"Be nice to your calculator."
9/15/03
"My cousin's just nuts."
"I couldn't win a care-bear for the life of me."
"I won; it doesn't matter that I was playing against seven year-olds."
9/22/03
"My legs do weigh a ton but they feel like they hurt."
9/25/03
"Someone snatched my recycle bin."
"I'm sleepy."
"I don't understand why my husband bought me a grumpy shirt."
9/29/03
"When I'm comparing pies I'm going to use power"
Note: she referenced pies with a starved look on her face about every five minutes for the rest of class (about 30 min.)
"If you don't want to pay attention, that's fine........but be quiet!"
10/1/03
[In ref. to her son] "He wants to be--what's that thing that catches the ball?"
"Did I tell you we're getting two dogs?"
[In ref. to dogs] "The bigger one jumped in my lap, plopped down, and said, 'I'm comfy now.'"
[Her cell phone rings] "It's not me! It's not me!" [Goes and answers her cell phone.]
"Just because you hear a beeping noise it doesn't mean Jeff is beeping."
"In my case if I'm looking at the chocolate I'm gaining weight."
[After talking about being Korean] "If i didn't go to college I'd probably be disowned."
Ralston: "If you go to L.A. what do you find?"
Chris Sanchez [a beaner]: "MEXICANS!"
Ralston [ignoring his response]: "Latinos, african americans..."
10/7/03
"How many people make beds just before they go to sleep? Meee!"
[Imitating her daughter] "Mommy, its a yellow light; why are you slowing down?"
"By the way, I think my daughter's friends father--I think--is a police sergeant, so don't get in any trouble."
"I never lied on my drivers license and I've had it since I was 16 and I've gained some weight but I've never lied on my drivers license."
"My kids always go pee before they get in the shower."
"Im traning my kids right: my son leaves the toilet seat down."
"Marlene's sister is getting married." (To this day I have no utter clue who this person is)
Ralston: "We got the cutest puppies. We picked them up yesterday. Did I tell you?"
Class nearly in unison: "Yes"
Ralston: "My dogs..."
10/10/03
"Want to see a picture of my daughter?"
"Last night we went to McDonalds and we had to wait for 30 minutes."
"I've done this before and I got a nasty note from a parent."
10/13/03
"Remember the unibomber? Mrs. [So and so] had him as a professor."
10/14/03
"You know those red bulls? Never give a little kid one of those!"
[In ref. to her daughter] "She thought her teacher moved all the words on her paper [spelling test] so that she could mark a bunch of x's on her paper."
[Imitating her daughter] "My teacher marked all of these wrong when I spelled all of them right."
"First graders!"
10/15/03
"I made a spider yesterday!"
10/17/03
"Just remember, a paperclip is not a weapon."
"This is what happened in second period today: I didn't tell them what to do and they just went crazy. They told me they were going to drive the rest of their teachers crazy too!" [After she gave us spinners]
"I went to McDonalds once and spent $20 just on McDonalds toys."
[She taught us to draw circles, then after] "Did you get it?"
Few students: "No." [Ralston frowns]
10/31/03
"You know what the highlight of the day was? I gave them a spelling test."
1/29/04
[She wanted to show us how to finance cars] "I spent so much time talking about my kids in 3rd period, so I have time for this."
2/5/04
"Have you ever seen a Korean that doesn't play a musical instrument?"
2/9/04
"Can you do confidence intervals? You can't but your calculator can. Can you punch in the right numbers to get your confidence interval?"
2/11/04
[Someone asked her to do a problem on the board] "On the board? You're going to make me do work?"
?/?/?
"My husband is taking all next week off so I'll be the only one working. Can I bring [my kids] here?"
"If I have to work so do all of you!"