keshite REWRITE shite
Came to a minor realization recently that I forgot to write down.
I've been wondering why I haven't been losing weight, though I've been eating well and getting plenty of exercise and no longer need the fat as protection from lecherous eyes. I'm hardly uncomfortable with myself, but I know my body's not in good condition and want to heal it.
Even with all that, the pounds stick to me like they're glued there. Why? Well, I think I've figured it out.
I don't want to lose weight just to be slender and more aesthetically pleasing again, though that is a factor.
In my mind, I equate 'thin' with 'weak,' and I really don't want to be weak.
If I focus on getting stronger instead and treat weight loss resulting from that as a simple bonus, it seems to work much better.
In the last month, I've gained back a great deal of my old muscle-- I can close the freight elevator door with one hand, for instance, and the resistance on the hydraulic pulley there is around 60-70lbs. I can lift furniture on par with men much bigger and older than me. My stamina still sucks, but all the running up all six flights of stairs here is helping that improve rapidly as well.
As a side-effect of this, excess fat poundage has been dropping off steadily as it's replaced with muscle. I'm not getting any smaller-- in fact, I'm probably getting heavier-- but my shape is streamlining, and I feel much healthier.
If it's a choice between thin and fit, it's obvious which I'm picking, even if it makes me look somewhat butch. I'd rather be able to run around the block without getting out of breath and be able to open tightly sealed jars with my hands and have ham-thighs than be slender and lovely and helpless. ^__^;;
Hopefully it won't turn out to be a choice at all. Hopefully after I get over the initial bulking-up phase, my body'll turn to functionality and I'll slim down anyway.
Fingers crossed. ^_______^
I've been wondering why I haven't been losing weight, though I've been eating well and getting plenty of exercise and no longer need the fat as protection from lecherous eyes. I'm hardly uncomfortable with myself, but I know my body's not in good condition and want to heal it.
Even with all that, the pounds stick to me like they're glued there. Why? Well, I think I've figured it out.
I don't want to lose weight just to be slender and more aesthetically pleasing again, though that is a factor.
In my mind, I equate 'thin' with 'weak,' and I really don't want to be weak.
If I focus on getting stronger instead and treat weight loss resulting from that as a simple bonus, it seems to work much better.
In the last month, I've gained back a great deal of my old muscle-- I can close the freight elevator door with one hand, for instance, and the resistance on the hydraulic pulley there is around 60-70lbs. I can lift furniture on par with men much bigger and older than me. My stamina still sucks, but all the running up all six flights of stairs here is helping that improve rapidly as well.
As a side-effect of this, excess fat poundage has been dropping off steadily as it's replaced with muscle. I'm not getting any smaller-- in fact, I'm probably getting heavier-- but my shape is streamlining, and I feel much healthier.
If it's a choice between thin and fit, it's obvious which I'm picking, even if it makes me look somewhat butch. I'd rather be able to run around the block without getting out of breath and be able to open tightly sealed jars with my hands and have ham-thighs than be slender and lovely and helpless. ^__^;;
Hopefully it won't turn out to be a choice at all. Hopefully after I get over the initial bulking-up phase, my body'll turn to functionality and I'll slim down anyway.
Fingers crossed. ^_______^