Yom Kippur
It's Yom Kippur again, and, yet again, I find myself defending my decision to take the day off, go to services and fast. I don't believe in G-d, so that part is totally irrelevant. I've always felt that there is some inherent value in having connection to history and to your people. I will observe Jewish tradition for tradition's sake, as long as it does not harm me more than it helps me: if it balances out, tradition is enough of a boost. Now, often taking time from something I want to do more is sufficient harm for me to ignore a tradition.
I don't like fasting. Let me rephrase that: I hate fasting. I have a high metabolism, and fasting is very hard for me. On Yom Kippur, I will be starving by noon, and alternately falling asleep and wanting to scream for the rest of the day.
I do enjoy services, at least I enjoy a few hours of them. In general I get more pleasure than suffering out of services, at least as long as they are done in a style I like. However, by the end of the day, between hours of sitting still and nothing to eat, I don't want to be there. So why don't I just walk home and eat dinner?
I do think that fasting is somewhat valuable in itself. It's a contest of self-control, and also a reminder of how easy my life generally is. There is something positive to me about afflicting myself a bit just to show that I can do it. So, even though I hate it, I think it's worth doing once a year.
Maybe fasting is worthwhile, but why should I do it on Yom Kippur? I'm very busy right now: I should be in lab or doing grant applications, or grading papers. Even if I wasn't in shul, I couldn't do these things while fasting, my brain won't hold any concentration. Here I come back to tradition. I do value tradition. I think Judaism is a fascinating culture, and tend to dissociate it largely from G-d and religion. It connects me to an amazing history, with great things and terrible things. It also connects me to my family whom I value highly. Those of you who have heard me talk about them know that I have a remarkably good family. Of course, they're all agnostics, except the pagans, but they are still connected to Judaism in much the same way I am.
I'm not entirely certain this made any sense. I probably shouldn't post while fasting. Maybe I should get away from the paint fumes in my house, too.
I don't like fasting. Let me rephrase that: I hate fasting. I have a high metabolism, and fasting is very hard for me. On Yom Kippur, I will be starving by noon, and alternately falling asleep and wanting to scream for the rest of the day.
I do enjoy services, at least I enjoy a few hours of them. In general I get more pleasure than suffering out of services, at least as long as they are done in a style I like. However, by the end of the day, between hours of sitting still and nothing to eat, I don't want to be there. So why don't I just walk home and eat dinner?
I do think that fasting is somewhat valuable in itself. It's a contest of self-control, and also a reminder of how easy my life generally is. There is something positive to me about afflicting myself a bit just to show that I can do it. So, even though I hate it, I think it's worth doing once a year.
Maybe fasting is worthwhile, but why should I do it on Yom Kippur? I'm very busy right now: I should be in lab or doing grant applications, or grading papers. Even if I wasn't in shul, I couldn't do these things while fasting, my brain won't hold any concentration. Here I come back to tradition. I do value tradition. I think Judaism is a fascinating culture, and tend to dissociate it largely from G-d and religion. It connects me to an amazing history, with great things and terrible things. It also connects me to my family whom I value highly. Those of you who have heard me talk about them know that I have a remarkably good family. Of course, they're all agnostics, except the pagans, but they are still connected to Judaism in much the same way I am.
I'm not entirely certain this made any sense. I probably shouldn't post while fasting. Maybe I should get away from the paint fumes in my house, too.