i dont know what to call it.

[emoxxxedger]

i feel nauseaous
i feel sick
i always feel sick
recently, i always feel that way
i feel like my stomach is climbing my rib cage
trying to get out
like a prisoner in a death camp
i feel like the world is collapsing
one sore at a time
one worthless mind devouring the intelligence that is suffocating
one irrespondsible action
just moving
and waiting for their chance to jump on the band wagon

im always just alright
im never perfect anymore
sometimes a smile
but mostly a surpressed urge
fearful of following its self out
fearful of losing
because now i finally gained
and what will i find in myself and a mirrorized image of what i have to hide from the world

their is to many questions
and not enough time to event think up an answer
and when i make an attempt to make myself fade
i come back brighter than i ever intended
so now i am stuck
trudding through the mud.

clean off my feet
and ill pretend to be jesus
and ill ressurect myself
into the sky.
and ill close my eyes,
and feel like a car accident
and when i open them,
ill only be a pile.