(no subject)

[emoxpunkstar]

yesterday was a great day, talked to "blah" and ish, got some things figured out. last night went to coffee bean with Shawna and Jordan, mmm how i love it. anyways. talked about some stuff, brought Molly a cold coffee back, watched The O.C., then went outside with them and smoked, went back inside, watched Molly and Jonell do ish from the play they are in, i can't wait to go see it next week! but i really want to go high as fuck, because i was laughing my ass off last night. i haven't really talked to Marvis all the much lately, who knows what's going on with us, i have more important shit on my mind. this goes out to "blah" ... when we lock eyes, my heart has an endless smile for all time, you're great, you're funny, you're just fucking awesome as hell. i hate that we're both shy, i hope one day we can overcome that and just be who we are. i see you in my dreams almost every fucking night now, i wake up wishing you were next to me. it hurts when i don't see you, i want you to know that my feelings for you are as strong as ever ... what the hell, anyways i'm just blabbing on because i need to, i know that person wont even read this, since they don't even have the internet, but i don't fucking care. today was retarded, you weren't there! "Blah" just touch me. Shawna is a fucking Christmas fiend, and she's always there. Cici makes me laugh all the time. Rachel is a goalie who stops balls, and it's been almost 2 months, so give her a high five. Sami is my fellow pothead. Trevor is a fine looking guy. Steven is whoa beautiful in every way possible, talented beyond talented, and fucking awesome. Paul Van Dyk is my god. Radiohead is amazing. you judge me, i say FUCK YOU. alright i want coffee bean now.

"wound open and squeezing my heart against this pain inflicts
and in passion i bleed for it
but with this what they gave me this book
and flint and a match to go with it"