(no subject)
Our 'relationship' or lack thereof is so very strange.
His ability to not consider us more than fuck buddies astounds me. At this point, after all the late nights - suppers paid by either of us - the secrets we probably both wish we kept secrets now - after all of that, he still cant see us as more? I've given my all, or at least as he made me feel comfortable giving. But past that point, it seems he purposely makes me feel uncomfortable, and I should be happy with it, I know I should, and I love what we have together. But his happiness is truly all he's considering right now, and I should learn to live with that - or better yet, I need to make myself live without it.
It's at these times I'm most stubborn though - when I know it's time to give up, I've let my heart get involved and if I dont leave now I'll never be able to collect the pieces. Then I'll hate everything I've liked by even being associated with him - just so I don't have to see the fractions lying around in his interests that became mine too.
...
I dont know where I'm falling or where I fell
But I know the landing is going to hurt like hell.
His ability to not consider us more than fuck buddies astounds me. At this point, after all the late nights - suppers paid by either of us - the secrets we probably both wish we kept secrets now - after all of that, he still cant see us as more? I've given my all, or at least as he made me feel comfortable giving. But past that point, it seems he purposely makes me feel uncomfortable, and I should be happy with it, I know I should, and I love what we have together. But his happiness is truly all he's considering right now, and I should learn to live with that - or better yet, I need to make myself live without it.
It's at these times I'm most stubborn though - when I know it's time to give up, I've let my heart get involved and if I dont leave now I'll never be able to collect the pieces. Then I'll hate everything I've liked by even being associated with him - just so I don't have to see the fractions lying around in his interests that became mine too.
...
I dont know where I'm falling or where I fell
But I know the landing is going to hurt like hell.