New me, old me, is there such a change?

[emotionsonhigh]

In Cornwall visiting the cousins. It's been a while I presume since I've written in this. Today we went semi dress shopping. A lot of new things for that actually. I actually have a date & plans without having to do anything. But the dress selection. It was just something we did with Mom. And I know it sounds really silly, it's just a dress anyway, but at the same time, it's hard for me to pick out a dress and imagine what my mom would say. I can't ask my dad, it's too weird. Just like recently, when we have to pick Grade 12 courses and I have to come and realize in less than two years I'm graduating and I need to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. And I wish I had my mom's advice. Because out of everyone that I know, my mom's judgement and advice seemed to suit me. My dad doesn't know me as well as he should. And that's why it's hard to discuss choices, make plans.
Then there's a whole 'nother chapter in my life. But at the moment I'd prefer to keep that in my mind. Seeing it in print would hurt me more.

I just wish life got easier instead of harder.