somber days

[emotioneyes]

today is my grandmother's wake and i dont really want to go. im going to cry so much and i know it. and i also miss matt and i havent talked to him in a few days and its weird. and i dont know what to do. wow that sounds so cheezy, but its how i feel. well i have to go take a shower and then go be sad some more. ive been crying so much the past few days. but i did find out that my family(my grannys children) decided to give me her car because we were so close and since i turned 18 thats what she wanted or something. well im glad for that, now i have something of hers. but i still want her back. tomorrow when i speak at the funeral i dont know if i can make it. this is probably one of the toughest things ive ever had to deal with my whole life. wish me luck on not bursting into tears.

ta ta
heather