A Second Fairy Tale
Once upon a time there lived a princess. Well, she wasn't really a princess. She was a patient at the mental hospital in her town. She didn't care though. Those people don't give a fuck about nothing. She knew her prince would one day come and save her from the witch's castle (mental hospital).
It's not like she wasn't beautiful, she really was. All the old men there for psychotic breakdowns after their divorces tried to hit on her, but she was waiting for the one. She didn't know who the one was, but he would be romantic, and sweet, and he would understand her and save her from the evil witch (the nurse who gave her meds at 10am, 3pm, and 8pm). So she waited in patience and hope.
Years passed and thick vines grew around the castle (it was really like 2 weeks and the vines were just straps around her wrists and ankles). But still her prince never showed up. She called for birds to carry her message to the nearby town for rescue, but the witch would capture them and eat them alive (really she just dialed random numbers on the phone and ranted nonsense into the receiver).
Desperate, she wove a rope out of her own hair and flung from the window of the castle so that her princess might climb it and free her (she shaved her head and tried to strangle herself from a heating vent). Still, her prince never came.
Finally one day, a knight riding a majestic stead rode into the castle (he was strapped to a hospital bed). He threw down the witch and took the princess into his arms, kissing her hard with his lips he took her by the hand and led her through the castle doors across the drawbridge (hallway outside). On the way, he fended off many goblins (security workers) with his trusty sword (a scalpel he lifted from the hospital).
They arrived outside the castle walls into a spectacular meadow (emergency room parking lot) where he took her onto his brilliant dragon (a still running ambulance) and they rode off into eternity (down 7th Avenue then turned onto Ives Street) where they lived happily ever after (he got arrested for assault with a deadly weapon and manslaughter after he crashed the ambulance into another car "enemy dragon" and she suffered massive head trauma and spent the rest of her life in a coma).
It's not like she wasn't beautiful, she really was. All the old men there for psychotic breakdowns after their divorces tried to hit on her, but she was waiting for the one. She didn't know who the one was, but he would be romantic, and sweet, and he would understand her and save her from the evil witch (the nurse who gave her meds at 10am, 3pm, and 8pm). So she waited in patience and hope.
Years passed and thick vines grew around the castle (it was really like 2 weeks and the vines were just straps around her wrists and ankles). But still her prince never showed up. She called for birds to carry her message to the nearby town for rescue, but the witch would capture them and eat them alive (really she just dialed random numbers on the phone and ranted nonsense into the receiver).
Desperate, she wove a rope out of her own hair and flung from the window of the castle so that her princess might climb it and free her (she shaved her head and tried to strangle herself from a heating vent). Still, her prince never came.
Finally one day, a knight riding a majestic stead rode into the castle (he was strapped to a hospital bed). He threw down the witch and took the princess into his arms, kissing her hard with his lips he took her by the hand and led her through the castle doors across the drawbridge (hallway outside). On the way, he fended off many goblins (security workers) with his trusty sword (a scalpel he lifted from the hospital).
They arrived outside the castle walls into a spectacular meadow (emergency room parking lot) where he took her onto his brilliant dragon (a still running ambulance) and they rode off into eternity (down 7th Avenue then turned onto Ives Street) where they lived happily ever after (he got arrested for assault with a deadly weapon and manslaughter after he crashed the ambulance into another car "enemy dragon" and she suffered massive head trauma and spent the rest of her life in a coma).