Why can't I make any sense of this?
I want what I don't have. When I get it, I don't want it anymore. I cried with a friend last night...it's the best way to cry. He held me and we hurt together. We fell apart in each other's arms...it's the best way to fall apart. I feel like I should lock myself in a dark cell somewhere and leave everyone alone. I don't want to hurt anyone. All I ever wanted was to taste something besides loneliness. Now I have it...I have the taste of something new. It's weird and doesn't make sense. Like when you're complaingin about how stupid it is to use a computer at work to take people's orders and the power goes out. You don't have a computer anymore and you have to write them out on paper...it takes more time and you realize how much you miss the computer. Bad similie. I want to break this apart and dig through it for answers but I'm afraid to. I love one, I like one, I don't want to hurt one. All the little pieces that for some reason or another have been splattered in my path. I know that to every problem I am the only solution...to every question I am the only answer. Friendship...no pain...good vibes. Totally vulnerable...on both sides of the fence. A mental game of tug-of-war. Every problem has a gift inside. I'm just lookin' for my gift...