First Post
hmmm so I am not too sure about this website so far but it does seem interesting. I think it will be fun if people actually read what I'm writing instead of me just talking to myself, which is what always seems to happen to me on these blogging sites. I guess the point of this whole thing is for me to write to myself, though, anyway, so whats the harm.
Right now it is currently 2:26am and I am awake because I am waiting for my boyfriend to get home so he can call me. We like to call each other before we go to sleep and then keep the phone on all night incase one of us wakes up and then we can say "I love you" and its kinda close to sleeping together- not really- but its nice. Anyway, my boyfriend does graffiti and he's out with his graffiti friend David, who I don't really like because he got my boyfriend in trouble once. They're downtown hitting "hot spots" because you can only hit those places at this time of night. Usually by this point I would feel really lonely and sad but I'm not too bad tonight. He's been texting me on and off, more than usual, and that helps a lot. I swear the longer I sit in my bed alone, though, the crazier I become...
I think I am supposed to wake up early tomorrow to ride my horse... oh well.
I wish it my parents would let me and my boyfriend have sleepovers but apparently nothing in the world could possibly be worse to them! or at least thats how they make it seem. GOD FORBID the couple that has been dating for a year and a half be alone in a room together... something might happen! I used to think, you know, "newsflash, Mom and Dad! I'm already doing it with him so get over it!" but then i found out they already know that we are having sex, so what the fuck is wrong with me sleeping over?!
Parents never make any fucking sense.
I just want to sleep with him in the most innocent way possible. Just lay my head on his chest and listen to his breathing and fall peacefully asleep instead of laying in bed for hours, lonely and depressed, falling asleep slowly and painfully.
I would never tell my parents about how depressed I am because they would think I was crazy and start treating me differently orrrrrrr think I am just making things up. I already have enough of my own doubts, I don't need them giving me more.
You know what I hate? I hate that I feel like my parents are just waiting to pounce on a reason for them to separate me from my boyfriend, even though he's a totally nice and intelligent guy who has always treated my parents with respect. That bothers me. Also they make everything into a big deal. I have to text my mom EVERYWHERE I am going, tell her EVERYONE who i am with, give her EVERYONEs mom's number, I can't be alone anywhere with my boyfriend, I absolutely can't go downtown, I can't skip dinner, I can't go to train tracks or trespassing or any of that stuff that teenagers do! No no no, I am a member of National Honors Society! A Honor Roll Student! I can't do those things! Never makes sense.
You know they say when you're younger that if you're a good kid your parents will give you more freedom- thats BULLSHIT. Its the kids who are going around doing bad things that don't have to remind their parents where they are every five seconds. Yet I, a "perfect child" of few mistakes, am kept on a short leash where my parents maintain total and complete control over my every move. How am I supposed to live.. How am I supposed to BREATH?!
Right now it is currently 2:26am and I am awake because I am waiting for my boyfriend to get home so he can call me. We like to call each other before we go to sleep and then keep the phone on all night incase one of us wakes up and then we can say "I love you" and its kinda close to sleeping together- not really- but its nice. Anyway, my boyfriend does graffiti and he's out with his graffiti friend David, who I don't really like because he got my boyfriend in trouble once. They're downtown hitting "hot spots" because you can only hit those places at this time of night. Usually by this point I would feel really lonely and sad but I'm not too bad tonight. He's been texting me on and off, more than usual, and that helps a lot. I swear the longer I sit in my bed alone, though, the crazier I become...
I think I am supposed to wake up early tomorrow to ride my horse... oh well.
I wish it my parents would let me and my boyfriend have sleepovers but apparently nothing in the world could possibly be worse to them! or at least thats how they make it seem. GOD FORBID the couple that has been dating for a year and a half be alone in a room together... something might happen! I used to think, you know, "newsflash, Mom and Dad! I'm already doing it with him so get over it!" but then i found out they already know that we are having sex, so what the fuck is wrong with me sleeping over?!
Parents never make any fucking sense.
I just want to sleep with him in the most innocent way possible. Just lay my head on his chest and listen to his breathing and fall peacefully asleep instead of laying in bed for hours, lonely and depressed, falling asleep slowly and painfully.
I would never tell my parents about how depressed I am because they would think I was crazy and start treating me differently orrrrrrr think I am just making things up. I already have enough of my own doubts, I don't need them giving me more.
You know what I hate? I hate that I feel like my parents are just waiting to pounce on a reason for them to separate me from my boyfriend, even though he's a totally nice and intelligent guy who has always treated my parents with respect. That bothers me. Also they make everything into a big deal. I have to text my mom EVERYWHERE I am going, tell her EVERYONE who i am with, give her EVERYONEs mom's number, I can't be alone anywhere with my boyfriend, I absolutely can't go downtown, I can't skip dinner, I can't go to train tracks or trespassing or any of that stuff that teenagers do! No no no, I am a member of National Honors Society! A Honor Roll Student! I can't do those things! Never makes sense.
You know they say when you're younger that if you're a good kid your parents will give you more freedom- thats BULLSHIT. Its the kids who are going around doing bad things that don't have to remind their parents where they are every five seconds. Yet I, a "perfect child" of few mistakes, am kept on a short leash where my parents maintain total and complete control over my every move. How am I supposed to live.. How am I supposed to BREATH?!