Help me internets, you're my only hope.

[emotional_dirth]

I'm writing music reviews/interviews for the school paper.
I would like some critiques of the writing style. Just helpful suggestions.

it's underneath the cut.

Comments

Some minor grammatical stuff- changes so small you might not even notice them

[anonymous]

While known by many, whether for good or ill, Yoko Ono’s music is at times brilliant and beautiful and at other times incredibly indulgent and utterly inaccessible. Her latest collaboration cum remix album, Yes, I’m a Witch, is a collection of old Ono songs redone by some of the largest bands in indie rock, the only thing in common with the old tracks being Ono’s vocals

Re: Some minor grammatical stuff- changes so small you might not even notice them

[emotional_dirth]

perfect nicole! thank you kindly - I'm going to change it up a bit though, and use a semicolon in place of the first dash line.

[nomoreeasy]

While known by many - for good or ill - Yoko Ono’s music is at times brilliant and beautiful and at other times incredibly indulgent and utterly inaccessible. Her latest collaboration cum remix album, Yes, I’m a Witch, is a collection of old Ono songs redone by some of the largest bands in indie rock, the only thing in common with the old tracks being Ono’s vocals.

With contributing bands including the Flaming Lips, Le Tigre, Peaches, and Antony (of Antony and the Johnsons fame), Yes I’m a Witch runs the musical gamut. And despite the sundry amount of different artists and genres, there is no weak track on the album. Each song (just 'cuz you just used 'track' already) brings something new to the table, whether it’s the cool trip-hop of Shitake Monkey’s version of “O’Oh” or the Polyphonic Spree’s poppy edition of “You and I.” Each collaboration is not only a fantastic song in itself, but also adds something fresh onto the original Yoko Ono vocal

[emotional_dirth]

haha, dammit paul, you caught the one word that i used twice in a paragraph. i was so careful!
and yeah, nice catch on the last one there. gonna edit that shit and go right to bed.

[tinybehemoth]

i'm impressed

[emotional_dirth]

thank you! coming from someone like yourself, it makes me feel not-so-shabby.