Project Anti-Bordom: Wakefield
"Piz seriously dude you need to slow down," Alex tried to grab the next shot from him, but Piz shook his head and downed it.
"NO! My shot!"
Wallace swirled his own shot in the glass. Drinking was fun, but he wanted to do something really great involving embarassing the crap out of his roomie, "Hey Piz. I dare you to-"
"Already ahead of you," Piz stripped off his shirt, jumped up in the couch and started belting out Journey, "Just a small town girl. Livin' in a LONELY WORLD. She took the midnight train going AnYWheeeere."
Alex, not even the least bit drunk, was having a hard time staying up right as laughter threatened to break her insides. This was priceless. Wallace fell against her, not bothering at all to hide how hilarious he thought this was.
"Just a city boy. Born and raised in SOUTH DETROIT. He took a midnight train going anYWheeeere," Piz started air guitaring and fell over the back of the couch onto the floor. "Mmnnmmnnmmmnnn," He kept on air guitaring.
"Alright rockstar, I'm cutting you off," Alex went to pick the drunkard up.
"You know, you're kinda pretty when you act like you care."
"And you're super annoying when you've had one too many."
"I think you and me should go out for dinner sometime. And possibly have relations if it gets to that."
"That's ma man Piz," Wallace was absolutly in stitches.
"Up ya get lover boy," Alex hauled drunky over to the couch.
Piz got to his feet, swayed, then started taking off his pants.
"Whoa, keep those on!" Wallace shielded his eyes.
"No! I'm going streaking!" Piz tottered out into the hallway and started singing the rest of Journey really loudly. Doors flew open and voices started muttering and laughing. Wallace and Alex stood in the doorway watching their friends snow white ass fly down the hall.
"You know, he's not actually bad to look at. If you disregard the lily white ass."
Wallace gave Alex his patented 'oh hell no' look.
Piz turned the corner and towards the stairs.
"Shit!" Wallace and Alex said together as they raced after him. Too late. Piz had tripped and rolled down three flights, landing sprawled and naked at the bottom. He also looked a little unconscious and the proud owner of a broken arm.
"Should we call 911 before or after we get some pants on him?"
"Dibs on calling 911"
"Why do you get to call 911?"
"Because you're the one who can stand looking at him naked," Wallace ran back to the room to grab his phone and call 911. Alex followed after him to grab some pants for El Retardo.
Half an hour later Piz woke up in a brightly lit room with a splitting headache and an even more painful wrist, "Where am I?"
"You are in Wakefrield General with a freshly pumped stomach and a broken wrist," Dr. Robert Chase listed in his Austrailian accent as he changed the kid's I.V. He was severly dehydrated after all the alcohol and afformentioned stomach pumping.
"How long have I been out for?"
"Couple hours. I'll go tell your friends they can come see you now," He headed towards the waiting room.
"How is he Doc?" Wallace stood as Piz's doctor walked in.
"He's fine. He's also awake if you'd like to see him."
"Thank you for your hard work Doctor," Alex cozied up to the really pretty doctor. Usually she could control her physical responses to attractive people, but damn Dr. Case was just so... pretty. It's like he was made to turn women on with a glance, despite their sexual orientation.
"It was no trouble at all," Dr. Chase smiled. It was his 6 month anniversary of his divorce from Allison. What better way to celebrate than making a young lady's day.
"So what is it like saving lives?"
"Okay, let's go see our good friend Piz," Wallace dragged Alex away from Dr.Studly before she could dry hump his leg and led them into Piz's room, "Man you are some kind of stupid."
"Thanks Wallace."
"And you should really consider aiming for no tan lines the next time you plan on running anywhere bareassed."
"Thank you Alex."
Piz rubbed his face with his left hand. He hadn't felt this stupid since he asked out Maxine Chernakov in the 10th grade and she shot him down because he didn't have facial hair yet. He couldn't help it if genetics dictated that he was going to be a late bloomer... But now here he was, broken right hand and having to go to school the next day, which just so happened to be the weekend. If he didn't grow the balls to ask Ruby out for a coffee, he was probably going to have to kill himself. End of story.
"Don't look so glum. The doctor's getting your discharge papers and you'll be out of here before you can say... Oh... "Don't stop believin'"."
"It's sad that you're my best friend," Piz sarcasmed to his roommate, "Hey question: did I go into the ambulance au naturel?"
And now I have to go to bed so I can catch my 7am bus to fail my 8:30 midterm!
But the Question still remains:
Will someone answer's Piz's question?
Will Chase ever get a good plot line?
Will I ever get to Saturday?
Tune in next time!