Em Reads Shin Tenipuri, Part 1! [Vol. 1, Chapters 1-7]
We take Shin Tenipuri with a grain of salt, okay? We keep what we like, we discard what we don't.
I forgot how good it is to immerse myself in any kind of POT related crack, no matter how bad and nonsensical XD
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch1 - "The Prince Returns Home"
-in which we waste so many pages introducing all the characters we already know ("omg your team is here too?!"), and learn that not only has Konomi learned nothing from writing POT, that none of the Seigaku team members have, either. I mean come on, the knocking the can over thing? Didn't Arai and co. pull this as a prank on the innocent ichinens? And yet EVERY. SINGLE. SEIGAKU. REGULAR. PLAYED. ALONG. They are officially dumb.
...And now we're dropping tennis balls from the sky. (Is Atobe's family funding this thing?) How is it that the characters are de-ageing? Or is it just the high-schoolers who are in fact much less mature than our favourite middle-schoolers?
And, of course, the chapter ends with Ryoma's entrance. None of us saw that coming by the chapter title.
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch2 - "The Strength of the Middle Schoolers
Dear Inui, I apologize if the scanlations are wrong, but 120% DOES NOT EXIST. You lame-o dork XD
"He made an entrance later on purpose, so he would stand out more... It's like one year ago," Shinji says. +1 to Shinji for criticizing Ryoma and still not coming off like a bitch! ilu!
Symbolic competition between Atobe and Sanada over who has the most balls. (Even more Symbolic Tezuka inbetween them XD) (EVEN MORE DIRTY REFERENCE TO A WEAK HAND, ATOBE YOU PERVERT. WE KNOW YOU WANT RYOMA IN YOUR BED ALSO TEZUKA, AND SANADA, AND BASICALLY YOU'RE A WHORE. ILU)
...Fighting via a tennis match for your balls? I mean, do I even need to point these things out anymore? Is this U-17 Camp, or Inappropriately Gay Tennis Player Camp?
Ryoma takes it upon himself to represent all the middle schoolers against the Great Tennis Bullies that exist everywhere in Tenipuriland. I could swear, Echizen, that nobody asked you to...?
Magnum? His shot is called Magnum? No, okay I get it, it's just that the first thing I think of when you say Magnum is actually this. It does not have quite the same intimidating impact XD
(Oh Ice Cream Boy, I am sad because we're going to lose you so early on in this manga thanks to Echizen defeating your ass humiliatingly. I will miss your comedy effect!)
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch3 - "The True Strength of the High Schoolers"
Listing the most show-off members of each team, or the ones who will grow up to have a gambling problem, since these are the ones who've bet their tennis-ball entry into the U-17 camp (OR, the ones who've been shoved forward to show off by their teammates, I think in some cases!): Ishida Gin, Marui Bunta, Chitose Senri, Hirakoba Rin, Liliaden Krauser. (I think all of Shitenhouji's team could be gambling addicts in the future? XD)
Oh Choutarou, so sweet, so naive. Why did you pick up two tennis balls if you were just going to give one away? Why did that high-schooler even ask you for it? Did he sense your innocence, like blood?
Oh, Sanada <3 One of the biggest dorks of all. Did Yukimura send you in to show off Rikkai's strength? Are you his little bitch? Yes you are! Yes you are! No, really, you're wonderful and I love you.
"Isn't this battle of strength stupid?" Uhm, YES. And yet that's kind of the point of the camp anyway!
Oh wait, some goody two-shoes has come along to point out that you can't have personal matches (how is a match to determine who gets to stay at camp PERSONAL? It is literally proof of strength and right to be there... It's totally competitive... No I know, it isn't an officially devised match). But, I mean, that's the rule they have EVERYWHERE. Now that you've said it, we're just going to... ignore it, right? OTHERWISE WHERE WILL YOUR ANGST AND DRAMA COME FROM, SERIES? XD
Pffffft, the high-schoolers are already organised in order of the strongest to the weakest? Based on... Where the teams came in their own tournament? (Because that is not exactly accurate for every single player on the team's ability. Except for Rikkai, who own everyone. And should just handed court one right NOW kthanks).
Poor Akaya, someone scared him like Yukimura scares him XD Buchou will kick that dude's ass for you, bb.
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch4 - "The Extermination of Momoshiro's Demons"
OH LOL. THIS HIGH SCHOOLER'S RACQUET ONLY HAS TWO STRINGS. KONOMI, FOR SERIOUS, STOP BEING STINGY AND PAY FOR THE GOOD CRACK AGAIN, THIS SHIT IS JUST *BAD*. I predict that soon we won't even be playing tennis with the racquets and balls and a court; we'll be visualizing the ball in our mind, and whoever wins has the stronger ~psychic tennis ability~. You just wait, I'm right, I know it.
So Two-String (no seriously, don't expect me to actually learn anyone's names), is actually a twit. He doesn't spend his time facing people from the higher courts trying to move up to the top tier, he spends all his time smacking down the people who try rise up even as far as him... Does he think the top players couldn't handle that for themselves? Or is he just everyone's bitch? (Including THE COACH, who apparently has never given him a match above his own court level anyway, and just assigns him to go smackdown the lesser mortals all the time - no ~personal matches~, remember? XD).
Oh shit, I spent so much time laughing over this we've hit the end of this chapter already.
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch5 - "Momoshiro's Determination"
(So this is the one where even though we've just been told his wrists are hurt, the Power Of TennisTM will grow in Momoshiro and defeat Demon Two-String?) (I'M NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING, YOU KNOW I'M NOT).
Oh wow so much Rikkai <3333
Oh God <3 Yukimura glances at the goddamn security camera (coaches, you pervy voyeurs, go watch the fricking matches at the courts!), and knows this was all planned from the start. I see his evil mind cogs turning <3 AND ATOBE. "If us Middle Schoolers aim to play quietly, we might actually suceed." LOL ATOBE, THAT SOUNDS *JUST LIKE YOU* :P I adore him when he criticises other people for something he does himself (SHOWBOATING). Admittedly I can totally get behind the Atobe/Momo, if Momo is his little amusing pet XD (The anime supports this!)
....Waitwaitwait, in that panel they're practising their swings? OH COME ON. I think they know how to hit tennis balls by now!
Ahahahaha all these coaches have long hair, stop trying to kill me. This dude is the ~mental coach~ (Yup, I bet he's pretty mental).
Inui & Yanagi talking in unison; we can call that canon? :D Because I kind of love their shared dorkiness.
Okay, I already knew this little twist - they all pair off and then it is revealed that they'll actually face one another in singles and the loser is out. But it is interesting to note the people who attempt to team up in doubles. (Although as the scanlation shows, the coach never says anything about doubles, Kikumaru makes that assumption. Do they all? I mean, Inui and Mizuki?! ...Can we credit Inui with this kind of forethought? As much as I don't take Mizuki seriously, he is sneaky, so I'd actually expect it from him. Would Yuuta really choose his brother over Mizuki? There's no way they have a doubles combination considering their rocky relationship. GAH. Conveniently we don't see who Tachibana is paired with, but I'm honestly surprised that Chitose isn't his partner, but Tooyama's. We're really pushing the team loyalty here, hmmm? Atobe and Hiyoshi, interesting... The scan shows Tezuka vs. "Ka-" which is cut off. Kaidoh?)
ONWARDS TO FIND OUT!
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch6 - "Attacking Your Comrade"
Momo and Ryoma make their usual crappy doubles pair (lol, Ryoma, it is honestly your only option, isn't it? But I would think you'd try a bit harder at a camp you might have to drop out of... Oh wait, you probably got the memo that you're the Prince of Tennis and therefore will never lose), Atobe deigns to 'personally teach' Hiyoshi 'everything he needs to know' *coughsplutter*, and sends Kabaji off for Jirou.
OH LOL, POOR INUI <3 KAIDOH asks Tezuka to team with him (deathwish, much? Oh sweetheart, you know he can't play doubles, but you just adore your captain so much, don't you?), and Yanagi teams with Rikkai's Demon Child, and Inui just GLANCES AROUND LIKE "WHYFORE ARE YOU GUYS WHO I CALL MY FRIENDS LEAVING ME ALL ALONE?! :( :( :(" (Seriously, Renji, you bastard <3). AND IT LOOKS LIKE MIZUKI IS JUST THE ONLY ONE LEFT, LOLOLOL. So much for me trying to give him some credit XD
Hehehehehe here come the first years! Horio, Dan, We even get our Rikkai first year, Shiita, awwwwww. (HE IS THE CUTEST OF THEM ALL, TOO). But why does he have to have his own irritating catchphrase? "De yansu" on the end of every sentence?
Yuushi whips Gakuto's ass in tennis and then fucks his ass in bed. And I mean seriously whips his ass; although whoever translated this may have made a booby here, because 6-0 is a win, 7-0 is just unneccessary... (Surely someone would call Konomi on the tennis score errors? Or has he done a JKR and decided he's too good for editors now?)
Shiita "de yansu's" his way through a Niou-Yagyuu tiebreaker.
Yuuta: "He's (Yagyuu) going straight for his (Niou) weak point and not showing mercy?"
Jackal: "That's his way of showing mercy".
JOUSHO RIKKAI. Don't pretend, if you're stronger than someone, that you aren't. Don't throw them a bone, don't give them pity. They won't thank you for it. If you're going to crush them, crush them properly!
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch7 - "Surmounting The Harsh Trials"
(why do these chapter titles all sound so overdramatic? OH WAIT I KNOW XD)
Of course Yagyuu couldn't just win out of superior skill, Konomi had to have him "see through Niou's trick", whatever that was. Doh. I can see Yagyuu being stronger than Niou, though. Yagyuu works harder, he's come much further in a much shorter time. I think if you see Niou as overly reliant on his tricks, maybe his basic skills are being neglected. He's another showboater, after all ;)
Golden Pair overdramatics. Sigh.
BUT. Shiita. CUTE. I can ignore Echizen's stupid "this is gonna be an interesting battle", PFFFT. GO AWAY KNOW IT ALL. Shiita! "Thi... Thi... Thi... Thi... This... This match is gonna be really bad!"
UNF PANEL.
-
I forgot how good it is to immerse myself in any kind of POT related crack, no matter how bad and nonsensical XD
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch1 - "The Prince Returns Home"
-in which we waste so many pages introducing all the characters we already know ("omg your team is here too?!"), and learn that not only has Konomi learned nothing from writing POT, that none of the Seigaku team members have, either. I mean come on, the knocking the can over thing? Didn't Arai and co. pull this as a prank on the innocent ichinens? And yet EVERY. SINGLE. SEIGAKU. REGULAR. PLAYED. ALONG. They are officially dumb.
...And now we're dropping tennis balls from the sky. (Is Atobe's family funding this thing?) How is it that the characters are de-ageing? Or is it just the high-schoolers who are in fact much less mature than our favourite middle-schoolers?
And, of course, the chapter ends with Ryoma's entrance. None of us saw that coming by the chapter title.
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch2 - "The Strength of the Middle Schoolers
Dear Inui, I apologize if the scanlations are wrong, but 120% DOES NOT EXIST. You lame-o dork XD
"He made an entrance later on purpose, so he would stand out more... It's like one year ago," Shinji says. +1 to Shinji for criticizing Ryoma and still not coming off like a bitch! ilu!
Symbolic competition between Atobe and Sanada over who has the most balls. (Even more Symbolic Tezuka inbetween them XD) (EVEN MORE DIRTY REFERENCE TO A WEAK HAND, ATOBE YOU PERVERT. WE KNOW YOU WANT RYOMA IN YOUR BED ALSO TEZUKA, AND SANADA, AND BASICALLY YOU'RE A WHORE. ILU)
...Fighting via a tennis match for your balls? I mean, do I even need to point these things out anymore? Is this U-17 Camp, or Inappropriately Gay Tennis Player Camp?
Ryoma takes it upon himself to represent all the middle schoolers against the Great Tennis Bullies that exist everywhere in Tenipuriland. I could swear, Echizen, that nobody asked you to...?
Magnum? His shot is called Magnum? No, okay I get it, it's just that the first thing I think of when you say Magnum is actually this. It does not have quite the same intimidating impact XD
(Oh Ice Cream Boy, I am sad because we're going to lose you so early on in this manga thanks to Echizen defeating your ass humiliatingly. I will miss your comedy effect!)
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch3 - "The True Strength of the High Schoolers"
Listing the most show-off members of each team, or the ones who will grow up to have a gambling problem, since these are the ones who've bet their tennis-ball entry into the U-17 camp (OR, the ones who've been shoved forward to show off by their teammates, I think in some cases!): Ishida Gin, Marui Bunta, Chitose Senri, Hirakoba Rin, Liliaden Krauser. (I think all of Shitenhouji's team could be gambling addicts in the future? XD)
Oh Choutarou, so sweet, so naive. Why did you pick up two tennis balls if you were just going to give one away? Why did that high-schooler even ask you for it? Did he sense your innocence, like blood?
Oh, Sanada <3 One of the biggest dorks of all. Did Yukimura send you in to show off Rikkai's strength? Are you his little bitch? Yes you are! Yes you are! No, really, you're wonderful and I love you.
"Isn't this battle of strength stupid?" Uhm, YES. And yet that's kind of the point of the camp anyway!
Oh wait, some goody two-shoes has come along to point out that you can't have personal matches (how is a match to determine who gets to stay at camp PERSONAL? It is literally proof of strength and right to be there... It's totally competitive... No I know, it isn't an officially devised match). But, I mean, that's the rule they have EVERYWHERE. Now that you've said it, we're just going to... ignore it, right? OTHERWISE WHERE WILL YOUR ANGST AND DRAMA COME FROM, SERIES? XD
Pffffft, the high-schoolers are already organised in order of the strongest to the weakest? Based on... Where the teams came in their own tournament? (Because that is not exactly accurate for every single player on the team's ability. Except for Rikkai, who own everyone. And should just handed court one right NOW kthanks).
Poor Akaya, someone scared him like Yukimura scares him XD Buchou will kick that dude's ass for you, bb.
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch4 - "The Extermination of Momoshiro's Demons"
OH LOL. THIS HIGH SCHOOLER'S RACQUET ONLY HAS TWO STRINGS. KONOMI, FOR SERIOUS, STOP BEING STINGY AND PAY FOR THE GOOD CRACK AGAIN, THIS SHIT IS JUST *BAD*. I predict that soon we won't even be playing tennis with the racquets and balls and a court; we'll be visualizing the ball in our mind, and whoever wins has the stronger ~psychic tennis ability~. You just wait, I'm right, I know it.
So Two-String (no seriously, don't expect me to actually learn anyone's names), is actually a twit. He doesn't spend his time facing people from the higher courts trying to move up to the top tier, he spends all his time smacking down the people who try rise up even as far as him... Does he think the top players couldn't handle that for themselves? Or is he just everyone's bitch? (Including THE COACH, who apparently has never given him a match above his own court level anyway, and just assigns him to go smackdown the lesser mortals all the time - no ~personal matches~, remember? XD).
Oh shit, I spent so much time laughing over this we've hit the end of this chapter already.
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch5 - "Momoshiro's Determination"
(So this is the one where even though we've just been told his wrists are hurt, the Power Of TennisTM will grow in Momoshiro and defeat Demon Two-String?) (I'M NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING, YOU KNOW I'M NOT).
Oh wow so much Rikkai <3333
Oh God <3 Yukimura glances at the goddamn security camera (coaches, you pervy voyeurs, go watch the fricking matches at the courts!), and knows this was all planned from the start. I see his evil mind cogs turning <3 AND ATOBE. "If us Middle Schoolers aim to play quietly, we might actually suceed." LOL ATOBE, THAT SOUNDS *JUST LIKE YOU* :P I adore him when he criticises other people for something he does himself (SHOWBOATING). Admittedly I can totally get behind the Atobe/Momo, if Momo is his little amusing pet XD (The anime supports this!)
....Waitwaitwait, in that panel they're practising their swings? OH COME ON. I think they know how to hit tennis balls by now!
Ahahahaha all these coaches have long hair, stop trying to kill me. This dude is the ~mental coach~ (Yup, I bet he's pretty mental).
Inui & Yanagi talking in unison; we can call that canon? :D Because I kind of love their shared dorkiness.
Okay, I already knew this little twist - they all pair off and then it is revealed that they'll actually face one another in singles and the loser is out. But it is interesting to note the people who attempt to team up in doubles. (Although as the scanlation shows, the coach never says anything about doubles, Kikumaru makes that assumption. Do they all? I mean, Inui and Mizuki?! ...Can we credit Inui with this kind of forethought? As much as I don't take Mizuki seriously, he is sneaky, so I'd actually expect it from him. Would Yuuta really choose his brother over Mizuki? There's no way they have a doubles combination considering their rocky relationship. GAH. Conveniently we don't see who Tachibana is paired with, but I'm honestly surprised that Chitose isn't his partner, but Tooyama's. We're really pushing the team loyalty here, hmmm? Atobe and Hiyoshi, interesting... The scan shows Tezuka vs. "Ka-" which is cut off. Kaidoh?)
ONWARDS TO FIND OUT!
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch6 - "Attacking Your Comrade"
Momo and Ryoma make their usual crappy doubles pair (lol, Ryoma, it is honestly your only option, isn't it? But I would think you'd try a bit harder at a camp you might have to drop out of... Oh wait, you probably got the memo that you're the Prince of Tennis and therefore will never lose), Atobe deigns to 'personally teach' Hiyoshi 'everything he needs to know' *coughsplutter*, and sends Kabaji off for Jirou.
OH LOL, POOR INUI <3 KAIDOH asks Tezuka to team with him (deathwish, much? Oh sweetheart, you know he can't play doubles, but you just adore your captain so much, don't you?), and Yanagi teams with Rikkai's Demon Child, and Inui just GLANCES AROUND LIKE "WHYFORE ARE YOU GUYS WHO I CALL MY FRIENDS LEAVING ME ALL ALONE?! :( :( :(" (Seriously, Renji, you bastard <3). AND IT LOOKS LIKE MIZUKI IS JUST THE ONLY ONE LEFT, LOLOLOL. So much for me trying to give him some credit XD
Hehehehehe here come the first years! Horio, Dan, We even get our Rikkai first year, Shiita, awwwwww. (HE IS THE CUTEST OF THEM ALL, TOO). But why does he have to have his own irritating catchphrase? "De yansu" on the end of every sentence?
Yuushi whips Gakuto's ass in tennis and then fucks his ass in bed. And I mean seriously whips his ass; although whoever translated this may have made a booby here, because 6-0 is a win, 7-0 is just unneccessary... (Surely someone would call Konomi on the tennis score errors? Or has he done a JKR and decided he's too good for editors now?)
Shiita "de yansu's" his way through a Niou-Yagyuu tiebreaker.
Yuuta: "He's (Yagyuu) going straight for his (Niou) weak point and not showing mercy?"
Jackal: "That's his way of showing mercy".
JOUSHO RIKKAI. Don't pretend, if you're stronger than someone, that you aren't. Don't throw them a bone, don't give them pity. They won't thank you for it. If you're going to crush them, crush them properly!
-
ShinTenipuri Vol. 1 Ch7 - "Surmounting The Harsh Trials"
(why do these chapter titles all sound so overdramatic? OH WAIT I KNOW XD)
Of course Yagyuu couldn't just win out of superior skill, Konomi had to have him "see through Niou's trick", whatever that was. Doh. I can see Yagyuu being stronger than Niou, though. Yagyuu works harder, he's come much further in a much shorter time. I think if you see Niou as overly reliant on his tricks, maybe his basic skills are being neglected. He's another showboater, after all ;)
Golden Pair overdramatics. Sigh.
BUT. Shiita. CUTE. I can ignore Echizen's stupid "this is gonna be an interesting battle", PFFFT. GO AWAY KNOW IT ALL. Shiita! "Thi... Thi... Thi... Thi... This... This match is gonna be really bad!"
UNF PANEL.
-