My uncle Normand is an ex-hippie, current cubical worker who lectures you about drinking while he is sloshed. My cousin Jackie is a tree hugging drug addict who dropped out of college to be with her boyfriend who is also a tree hugging drug addict. Oh, and both of them are conviced fellons. My cousin Jon was raised on a nintendo and doesn't know anything about his parents except that they forced him to go into training for computers as opposed to the history teacher he rather wanted to be. My aunt Liza came from China and is a type A personality work-a-holic. She often forgets that she should be speaking English, and will yell in Chinese. My Aunt Bette is short and loud and lewd. My uncle Lou looks like God on the roof of the sistein chapel. He has some power that makes him impossiable to do anything by himself, like buttering toast. He makes Bette do it. My cousin Nick is autistic and likes game shows. A lot. My cousin Andrea is cool. My Aunt Rosie had five children and stopped working after the first one popped out. My uncle Bob once worked for the FBI as a spy in Japan. Now he's a photographer. He likes to talk about himself. My cousin Robbie is a lawyer and college professor who was once an alcoholic. He is married to one of the richer Baltimore families. My cousin Dan was kicked out of college for drug use. He just got a college deploma this year. He is thirty five. My cousin Anne works in the hospitality business and all of her past roommates have been gay men. My cousin Chris got a girl pregnant, married her, and later found out that she's been cheating on him the whole time. They are now in the process of a divorce and she is trying to get all custody of the child. However, she still forces him to babysit whenever she wants to go get sloshed. My cousin Renee cancelled her wedding to her husband because she found him drunk the night before the wedding. She threw the ring at him and broke up with him. Two months later, they were back together and married. My uncle Ray is an ex-hippie who has come to the conclusion that he is the most brilliant man in the world. He cannot remember his kids names and insead calls them "Kid". His wife is "Wife" and his nephews and nieces are "Nephew" and "Niece". Back in his day, he would have five to seven girlfriends at a time. Each would recieve the same card for holidays. My aunt Shelia is Martha Stewert on steroids. She has the ego of Mr. Guev and hates everyone around her. My cousin Katie is ridiculously stuck up and suffers from rhumatoid arthritus. My cousin Kevin is a spoiled snot who thinks he's better than the world and enjoys telling people of that fact. Constantly.
My uncle Normand is an ex-hippie, current cubical worker who lectures you about drinking while he is sloshed.
My cousin Jackie is a tree hugging drug addict who dropped out of college to be with her boyfriend who is also a tree hugging drug addict. Oh, and both of them are conviced fellons.
My cousin Jon was raised on a nintendo and doesn't know anything about his parents except that they forced him to go into training for computers as opposed to the history teacher he rather wanted to be.
My aunt Liza came from China and is a type A personality work-a-holic. She often forgets that she should be speaking English, and will yell in Chinese.
My Aunt Bette is short and loud and lewd.
My uncle Lou looks like God on the roof of the sistein chapel. He has some power that makes him impossiable to do anything by himself, like buttering toast. He makes Bette do it.
My cousin Nick is autistic and likes game shows. A lot.
My cousin Andrea is cool.
My Aunt Rosie had five children and stopped working after the first one popped out.
My uncle Bob once worked for the FBI as a spy in Japan. Now he's a photographer. He likes to talk about himself.
My cousin Robbie is a lawyer and college professor who was once an alcoholic. He is married to one of the richer Baltimore families.
My cousin Dan was kicked out of college for drug use. He just got a college deploma this year. He is thirty five.
My cousin Anne works in the hospitality business and all of her past roommates have been gay men.
My cousin Chris got a girl pregnant, married her, and later found out that she's been cheating on him the whole time. They are now in the process of a divorce and she is trying to get all custody of the child. However, she still forces him to babysit whenever she wants to go get sloshed.
My cousin Renee cancelled her wedding to her husband because she found him drunk the night before the wedding. She threw the ring at him and broke up with him. Two months later, they were back together and married.
My uncle Ray is an ex-hippie who has come to the conclusion that he is the most brilliant man in the world. He cannot remember his kids names and insead calls them "Kid". His wife is "Wife" and his nephews and nieces are "Nephew" and "Niece". Back in his day, he would have five to seven girlfriends at a time. Each would recieve the same card for holidays.
My aunt Shelia is Martha Stewert on steroids. She has the ego of Mr. Guev and hates everyone around her.
My cousin Katie is ridiculously stuck up and suffers from rhumatoid arthritus.
My cousin Kevin is a spoiled snot who thinks he's better than the world and enjoys telling people of that fact. Constantly.
...My hand is tired. I'll stop now.
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