I don't want to be sick anymore.
I am sick of being sick. I never imagined that I would be on chemo or having to take biological injections at the age of 21. It's so frustrating haveing a chronic illness an auto-immune disease. I am afraid to take all of this stuff it is supposed to help but at the same time I am terrifed. I feel like I am slowly killing myself becuase of the massive amounts of side effects or how I have to get bloodwork every eight weeks in the off chance my liver starts to fail. I wish I knew more people with this or a support group but I haven't found many people my age with this or any support groups. Its just so frustrating I try not to think about it but when I take the medication Its a reminder. Those moments are when I feel the worse. I dunno want to do anymore.
there are more postive things in my life. I have good friends I have had the chance to hang out with heather more. I hung out with her for an entire day during thanksgiving break, mat mad us biscuits and gravy and we went to my first auction. I got to hang out with her today as well, we went bowling but we didn't really bowl her husband bowled. We just sat and talked then we went to kmart and walked around for awhile and talked and bought a few things then she took me home. I had a doctors appointment earlyier today and I will eventually be able to get off of the methotextrate(chemo) I hope, but I will be starting injections. This is up in the air because there are several different ones and my insurance only covers a few so I have to wait and see what they will cover. Injections are expensive several thousand dollars for one so I am hoping my insurance will help me. I am on winter break. I got to hang out with my parents on wednesday last week which was nice. We went to steak and shake and went window shopping. It was nice. I just need to focus more on the postive rather then all the bad stuff in my life.
there are more postive things in my life. I have good friends I have had the chance to hang out with heather more. I hung out with her for an entire day during thanksgiving break, mat mad us biscuits and gravy and we went to my first auction. I got to hang out with her today as well, we went bowling but we didn't really bowl her husband bowled. We just sat and talked then we went to kmart and walked around for awhile and talked and bought a few things then she took me home. I had a doctors appointment earlyier today and I will eventually be able to get off of the methotextrate(chemo) I hope, but I will be starting injections. This is up in the air because there are several different ones and my insurance only covers a few so I have to wait and see what they will cover. Injections are expensive several thousand dollars for one so I am hoping my insurance will help me. I am on winter break. I got to hang out with my parents on wednesday last week which was nice. We went to steak and shake and went window shopping. It was nice. I just need to focus more on the postive rather then all the bad stuff in my life.