Legal Definitions

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Terrorism, Imprisonment, & Battery - A Typical Week in ASUCD
   So the California Aggie ran their story today on last week's ASUCD antics, and I really must congratulate them on upping the drama ante: Apparently last week's ASUCD adventures included terrorist threats, unlawful imprisonment, & battery!!! Either Comptroller Kai (pictured) or Senate Candidate Peake could be subject to up to a year jail time!

The Aggie also had an incredibly short article on the ASUCD Candidates Forum last Wednesday. Interestingly though:    Rob Roy, an independent candidate, said he would not name all the ASUCD commissions, a question posed to him by the event's moderator.
   "I can name all the commissions that you're asking, but I'm not going to," he said. "Let's talk about what we need on campus."
   For his closing statement, Roy leapt over the table, seized the microphone, and paced back and forth as he decried LEAD and Student Focus slates for being too dominating of the ASUCD elections.

Burritos vs Sandwiches
   In other news, the delightful Kristy Heidenberger has brought it to my attention that a Massachusetts Superior Court has found that burritos are not sandwichs. Judge Locke described burritos as "typically made with a single tortilla and stuffed with a choice filling of meat, rice, and beans," (and offered at low low prices!).

Related

United States Supreme Court finds that tomatoes are actually vegetables rather than fruit. (When appointed to the US Supreme Court I intend to overturn this ridiculous example of judicial activism!!)

Are hamburgers sandwiches? Are pizzas pies? Emosnail polls!