(no subject)
haha so here we go... genuine friends only livejournal!
it feels good to have genuine friends that will be there all the way to the death. i mean granted we will all go our certain ways in life and end up in different places but i know when my funeral comes, there are only a handful of people that will care and i cherish the very essence of mutual love in these people. without you guys i know i wouldn't have made it this far (it's been about 3 weeks) with the same smiling face.
i honestly haven't cried since the sunday she broke up with me and while it's hard not to think about how much she hurt me, i know in my heart that i don't need her to be happy. i never really needed her to be happy but i depended on her too much for all that love and affection... love and affection that can be found in so many other things besides a girlfriend. i still believe in true love and love at first sight and all that beautiful romantic stuff even after this bullshit. you know why? hahaha, it's because i was blinded by the idealism in those concepts, so i ended up thinking that megan really was perfect, that she was the one. i really haven't even given myself a chance to go out there and meet people. i'm 19 and all i could think about for the past year was how seriously in love i was but i didn't think about how old she was and i totally overlooked every warning sign and flaw that was telling me this wasn't going to last forever.
so, now i just kind of want to play the dating game. i'm not looking for anything serious at the moment and it would probably be a good thing if i didn't get attached to anyone quite yet. however, if love comes my way i'm not going to miss out on the opportunity just because of this thing called the past. the past can go fuck itself for all i care because just thinking of it makes me sad. i'm optimistic about the future, about college, about people i'm going to meet, about psychology, about music, about the fucking beauty outside my body. being single and alone is not going to stop me from having fun. if i could deal with not having a girlfriend until i was 16, i can deal with it for a few weeks, months, etc.
lately, i've had a good time playing videogames with ryan and beth. we play halo for hours on their x-box and the funny thing is i don't even own an x-box and i can still kick their asses most of the time! they're getting better though and i'm sure by the end of the month they'll probably surpass me in pistol sniping. ryan and beth, you're both awesome people and i know i don't ever have to make you promise to be genuine to me. promises just aren't necessary for friends you can count on.
it feels good to have genuine friends that will be there all the way to the death. i mean granted we will all go our certain ways in life and end up in different places but i know when my funeral comes, there are only a handful of people that will care and i cherish the very essence of mutual love in these people. without you guys i know i wouldn't have made it this far (it's been about 3 weeks) with the same smiling face.
i honestly haven't cried since the sunday she broke up with me and while it's hard not to think about how much she hurt me, i know in my heart that i don't need her to be happy. i never really needed her to be happy but i depended on her too much for all that love and affection... love and affection that can be found in so many other things besides a girlfriend. i still believe in true love and love at first sight and all that beautiful romantic stuff even after this bullshit. you know why? hahaha, it's because i was blinded by the idealism in those concepts, so i ended up thinking that megan really was perfect, that she was the one. i really haven't even given myself a chance to go out there and meet people. i'm 19 and all i could think about for the past year was how seriously in love i was but i didn't think about how old she was and i totally overlooked every warning sign and flaw that was telling me this wasn't going to last forever.
so, now i just kind of want to play the dating game. i'm not looking for anything serious at the moment and it would probably be a good thing if i didn't get attached to anyone quite yet. however, if love comes my way i'm not going to miss out on the opportunity just because of this thing called the past. the past can go fuck itself for all i care because just thinking of it makes me sad. i'm optimistic about the future, about college, about people i'm going to meet, about psychology, about music, about the fucking beauty outside my body. being single and alone is not going to stop me from having fun. if i could deal with not having a girlfriend until i was 16, i can deal with it for a few weeks, months, etc.
lately, i've had a good time playing videogames with ryan and beth. we play halo for hours on their x-box and the funny thing is i don't even own an x-box and i can still kick their asses most of the time! they're getting better though and i'm sure by the end of the month they'll probably surpass me in pistol sniping. ryan and beth, you're both awesome people and i know i don't ever have to make you promise to be genuine to me. promises just aren't necessary for friends you can count on.