Title: Tiny little secrets / Life isn’t like a rainbow
Author:
emorockkid Chapter: Three
Pairing: Gabe/William, Pete/Patrick, Ryan/Brendon, Spencer/Jon and some more of course
Rating: PG-13 up to R eventually
Warnings: This is a kid-fic, which means there are only 5 to 7 year adults and some teenagers in it.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this is true, I also mixed up family relations, surnames, ages, locations etc.
Summary: It's Gabe's first year in school, as well as William's. Both of them have to deal with a whole new part in life, family problems, sadness and slightly complicated friendships.
Dedications:
roflkopter who of course did the beta again and she always does it best!
dramacrumb who stood my crying an complaining about not being able to go on writing soon. And
letogyllenhaal ... and you still have to ask baby!Brendon if you are allowed to adopt baby!Ryan ;)
Previous:
oNe tWo Spencer whimpered loudly, a light tone of suffer in his high sounding, childish voice before he cursed again. His hands had moved the pillow aside - nothing. It also hadn’t joined all the toy cars to take a ride to somewhere else - they were in the same order Ryan had put them in yesterday evening. Spencer thought it might be cuddling between the bed sheets, but he found that it wasn’t. He had also been sticking his little-bit-chubby nose into the basket with the dirty and worn clothes.
The older twin was longing heavily for the stuffed toy squirrel, almost being half as tall as Spencer himself.
"Eddie, where you been goin'?" he asked whiningly, bending down in an awkward angle to have a look under the bed, but he still didn't get any hint of his beloved non-human friend.
He fisted his hands, holding them up to his small mouth, and tried to suppress the upcoming tears.
The baby boy was more than sure that Eddie missed his daddy already!
During Spencer's process of searching for the most important puppy in his entire life, Ryan came back from the bathroom, teeth finally brushed and grinning when he saw that Spencer was already going crazy over the lack of his toy. The tinier one was a little bit proud of himself for finding such a great hiding place and giving Spencer an impression what it felt like to be treated by your own brother all the time.
Ryan's brother would survive this day, the first day of the new kindergarten year and of getting to know new friends. And in the evening, Ryan would bring Eddie back into the other twin's embrace, on loved and adored for being Spencer's everyday hero and saving the squirrel.
While they sat around the big wooden kitchen table like they usually did for breakfast - all of the boys together with Vicky and their mom because their dad had to leave for work very early in the morning - Spencer sat in silence. His eyes had gone red and his lips kept pouting. But as long as he was eating his peanut butter sandwiches, his mom didn't see herself in the need to worry or spill any questions to find out what was wrong with the toddler.
Ryan filled his mouth continuously with his beloved mixed cereals, humming a sweet melody he remembered from a Singing Day in Vicky's room, swinging his head and tapping his left foot against the leg of the chair.
Of course, he was already wondering if there'd be any new kids in his kindergarten group. If there would be girls or boys; if they were fun or rather boring. And if it was finally someone he could sing with while the other kids preferred their dolls or matchbox cars; being loud and noisy and rude. At least his teacher was interested in his passion.
Sometimes she even sat down with him and played a tune to his lines on the guitar or the accordion, helping him to correct himself if one of his sang notes failed. Ryan felt happy every time she was surprised at how easily he remembered what she was teaching him, and he told her that it was all thanks to his awesome and beautiful sister Vicky. The music part was totally his favourite about being in kindergarten.
On the other hand he was asking himself what daily life without Gabe, Butcher, Mike and Michael would be like, because the three of their common friends were already in their second grade of school now and had been staying in his group for the 'extra year' parents could send their kids to during their first year.
But there was still Spencer, Ryland, Nate and Alex he could play with. And Eric, the strange boy who of course was always there and also managed to not get recognized for a whole day. Sometimes, Ryan wasn't sure if Eric actually existed at all.
Snapping out of his detailed thoughts, Ryan's gaze fell on his older brother who was helping his mom prepare the lunch boxes for himself, and two smaller ones for the twins, cutting the apples, adding some salad to his cheese sandwich - since he never ate meat from the age of two onwards - and mixing Ryan's special chocolate milk. Only he knew how much cocoa he needed to add in order to make Ryan completely satisfied.
Unrecognized by the others, Ryan let out a tiny sigh, feeling a little messed up due to not having Gabby around him all the time anymore; of not sticking to the practical third twin - Ryan hadn’t learnt the correct word for it yet.
"Get ready, little heartbreaker. We have to leave in a few!" Vicky interrupted the silence between the boys, which was totally unusual for the three of them. Several weeks ago they used to burble about what they would play in kindergarten, or that they wanted to play House and that Gabe wouldn't let Ryland force him to be the daddy again; the male part of the family who always had to leave the house early in the morning to go and be a cook in the restaurant Michael and Mike worked at as waiters. And Butcher was the pianist in the corner playing some live music for their guests.
Gabe preferred being the mother for Nate, Alex, Ryan and Spencer, and to let Ryland do the work - he was so much better at it and Gabe was a much lovelier mom, caring and treating them as the best things that ever happened to 'her'.
Vicky was aware that the three toddlers would start to build up some distance in their close relationship as brothers since they wouldn't spend every free second together. But this was what getting older and growing up probably was about. And there was nothing much the oldest of them was able to do than try to keep them as close as possible.
She saw Gabe pressing his lips together and rubbing his eyes lazily. He seemed caught between being excited and wanting to quit school for another year of being in his favourite friend group. But he of course knew that school was necessary.
So he jumped off his chair, breathing heavily and taking tiny steps to reach Spencer who was sitting a little closer to him already. Patting his long, thick hair, Gabe saw a hint of motivation in his eyes, the tone of optimism that always was Spencer's best company.
“Have fun in school, Gabby. The girls will like you!“ he beamed, happy about pronouncing all his words correctly with the first try. Gabe nodded, giving Spencer a quick hug and leaving a peck on his cheek as if he was leaving the family for a few days.
But he was much more worried about the next goodbye he had to give away, knowing that Ryan wouldn't take it that easily; that the smaller one was really hurt about this change in his still-so-young life. The boy with the curly, brown hair was staring at the laminated floor, hiding the fact that there were tears building up in his honey-brown eyes.
He felt little fingers running through the curls, stopping at his beloved headband and following the lines of the patterns, just like Gabe loved to do when they were cuddling on the couch. This was when Ryan felt safe and guarded, feeling that nothing bad could happen to him then. As if Gabe was his personal guardian angel.
The black-haired one bent forward, placing a soft kiss of the hair covering Ryan's forehead; the same gesture he used when he was allowed to be his mommy during House.
“You my bestest friend, Gabby!“ Ryan sobbed, his voice cracking a little. He offered a facial expression Gabe could barely stand this because he felt guilty for it.
“And I’ll stay your best friend if you still want me to,“ he said, tried to tug his much smaller brother into a tight and honest hug. Ryan stayed tense for the break of a minute, until he allowed himself to press his chest against Gabby's, rubbing his cheek half against his neck and half into his hoodie; the drops of the salty fluid soaked away from the purple fabric.
“I want!” Ryan whispered, laying his arms around the small frame and tightening the embrace
“I told Ryland to be a good mom for you four and to especially make sure you’re getting your daily snuggle-time. And I’ll take care of the rest after coming home from school, okay?“ He earned a firm nod and a careful smile for that promise while Ryan's eyes found his to show him he would somehow be okay.
“I love you, Bro-y,“ Ryan said slowly. He stretched on his chair to give a sloppy kiss to the boy who was still holding him. Nothing would change if they didn't want it to do.
**
“Ryan, hurry, the others are waiting for us!”
Spencer was close to yelling in excitement as he ran through the front door of the kindergarten, his feet stomping impatiently as if there was nothing better in the world than seeing his friends again.
Ryan instead clung to his mom's side, holding her hand tightly and shooting an annoyed glare to his sometimes-too-hyperactive second half. He really wasn't in the mood to stand Nate or Alex right now.
Hiding his face in the fabric of his mother's casual pants, the young boy also ignore .the request for a private talk brought up to his mom by his kindergarten teacher.
Mrs. Saporta bent down with a sigh, and even if Ryan was still very innocent and unknowing, he saw that there were worries crawling through the features of her beautiful face. She hadn't felt very comfortable since eying the 'goodbye' scene after breakfast.
Her fingers dug into his favourite cream-coloured scarf, loosening its hold around his thin neck, and wiped a strand of hair from the already pretty face.
“Come on, Ryan, your world has to move on. Your friends will be happy to see you, okay?”
Ryan stood still for a second, listening into the silence that filled the hallway; Spencer had already stormed into the big, bright room a few metres away from where they were standing.
Still hesitating in his moves, the toddler nodded, walking backwards until he turned around and fastened himself a little.
As young as Mrs. Saporta was, considering the fact that she already had four kids, she looked up to the way older teacher, receiving a warm and understanding smile. Not that he could have known about it, Ryan had already presented the point of the upcoming discussion himself.
**
The two women took seat in the corner close to the door, both with a strong cup of coffee in hand and with serious expressions on their faces. Their gazes fell on Ryan, who was heartily greeted by Nate and Alex, both pulling him into a group hug, but he was rather passive in this loveliness. Mrs. Saporta tilted her head to the side, watching the scene. She was never aware of her son's habits with other kids like she was in that moment.
“He started to become kind of dependent of Gabe, always taking the seats next to him or cuddling into him during their nap-time. Has it ever been like that before the twins got into the older group? I mean, at home . . . in the arms of the family?”
The teacher received a headshake for this question, realising that she really had been the first person to realize that Ryan was practically clinging to his older brother.
The young mother trusted in the words the older lady laid down to her, just wanting the best for the boys.
“What do you think I should do about this?“ she asked, hoping for an helpful answer.
Her eyes were catching contact to the deep blue ones that showed wisdom and a great heart, if it was on Mrs. Saporta to judge about that.
“The first step is already done. Gabe told me he wants to do a few activities to do with music after school, so there shouldn't be the situation of spending too much time with Ryan.”
To hear about that hurt, because both she and her husband thought that it might be a good thing that the brothers were that close, taking care of each other.
“Gabriel started to feel too responsible for Ryan, caring less about his friends over that, and he always had an eye on him. This isn't something a boy in his age shouldn't do, but this really isn't your fault, and not the one of your husband. This is just how children in big families grow.”
Tears were filling the corners of Mrs. Saporta's eyes which were fixing on to another teacher taking Ryan's hand, obviously asking him to come with her for a few minutes. The teacher just received a blank expression and a nod, without any motivation behind it.
Why didn't she ever see it herself?
Warm fingers covered hers, letting her snap out of her self-judging thoughts and squeezing her shaking hand slightly.
“We will take care of his social behaviour with the other kids, supporting him as much as possible and as long as my psychological education is enough, I would like to deal with this together with you. I already thought about some ways to sort that out, okay?“
**
Ryan already had a look to see if there were new kids coming to the group - except of those he already knew from his old group. And to his disappointment, he saw no one new to him, until his teacher asked him to come with her, taking his hand and leading him to his favourite corner of the whole kindergarten - while Spencer's was the kitchen.
The guitars were still in their cases, the notes on the cupboard next to them. The only thing that was different was that the piano wasn't protected by the big leather coverlet anymore and he could also see that the chair stood closer to it. And not the chair alone.
Ryan stood in surprise and also kind of awe, as he realized that a small, tiny figure sat in front of the huge instrument, eyes closed and obviously fully concentrated. The boy watching the kid felt that the lady next to him had knelt down and whispered a short statement to him, so that nobody else could hear her, as though it were a secret to the world.
“This, Ryan, is Brendon.”
He laid his head to the left side a little to be able to take a closer look at the younger toddler's face. Brendon had thick, dark hair, hanging into his small, rosy-cheeked face, with a mouth that made him look as though he was pouting constantly. His fingers were short and a little chubby, but still seemed like they were able to fulfil miracles, as they laid there on the keys, waiting to touch the notes out of them.
The watching child’s breath caught in his throat, as Brendon's eyelids fluttered shut and he actually started to play. A melody Ryan had never heard before, but it was nice anyway. To be honest, it was more beautiful than any other melody he could think of in this second.
He was caught in fascination through this one minute as the - so Ryan thought - younger one played the simple lines of notes as if it was the biggest gift of music ever, feeling warmth crawling into his belly. Nothing made him happier than music did. And so it was in this situation.
As soon as the short song was over, Ryan took a few steps towards the 'new one', waiting for him to snap out of his trance. And so Brendon did, clapping his hands and smiling almost awkwardly in joy. It seemed like he must have had fun playing the instrument Ryan still had a huge respect of.
He stood very close to the chocolate-eyed boy, holding out his small hand in a friendly gesture.
“Hi... Brendon, right?”
The boy nodded excitedly.
“I’m Ryan!”
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