Kiss will kill me part 3 ( LAST CHAPTER )
“So we don’t stop, we can’t stop, until we reach the top !”, music was still played, we finished our performance with some last movements. Audience screamed like hell while showing off their banners.
“After this is Lee Hyori’s performance. You can take some rest first before your secon performance guys”, said one of the staffs.
“Well, i’m gonna do some exercise”, said Junho. Accompanied by Chansung. Well of course, those two are going out. How come i just realized by know ?
Taecyeon quickly made his own way, i think it was to 2AM’s make-up room but i didn’t really care. These past few days i’ve been missing him like hell,i wished that he would quietly enter the room and sleep on the bunk bed on top of me. As usual. But in fact he never came. Even for once. I’m quite ashamed of myself that this thought made me hard to sleep, in fact right now i need more sleep since last night i only slept for around 3 or 4 hours.
I sat on my chair in our dressing room, the situation was very quiet. There was a slight sound of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang being played on the stage, but it wasn’t loud enough to prevent me into a deep sleep.
My eyes started to close slowly. As the time passed, i fell into a deeper sleep. I felt warm and so comfortable. I dreamt of Taecyeon. He was there, smiling at me and caressed my head. I smiled back at him. Though he started to fade slowly, i reached out for him, but there was no use.
“Hyung, wake up, we should rehearse our Without U performance by now”,said Nichkhun as he shoke my body.
Amazingly my eyes were not half-closed. I felt like i just got 24 hours of sleep,“Oh, okay”
“Uhm ... what happened ? Why is there this small-yet-so-obvious smile on your face ?”
“Is it ? Well, maybe since it’s been so long since i slept so comfortably”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So what happened between you and Taecyeon-hyung ?”, asked Junho during our break time in the costume room behind the stage, “And don’t try to say nothing happen because everybody can read what’s going on between you two. A silent fight. It’s time for you to tell me the truth”
“Well .. “, i said hesitantly,”i .. “
“Go on. Don’t hide anything”
And just that, i spilled my thoughts out. Junho would nod sometimes, and he would go “wow” with Jaw dropped. Just like that, i wonder if really did listen to every single word of my thoughts because he seemed to look at me with his solemn gaze.
“He’s head over heels for you”, Junho replied.
“No. He thinks of me as a substitute of Jay”
“Oh really ? Since it doesn’t seem that way. Would somebody who loves Jaebum so much caressed your head and watching you with a tender look while you slept ? “
“When was that ?”
“Right after our Don’t Stop Can’t Stop last performance. When you fell asleep on your table”
“No way. You made that up”
“Why are you so freaking stubborn hyung ? “
“I’m not stubborn ! he still loves JAY and that’s a fact !” , i yelled back at him,”It’s enough,Junho. It’s over between me and Taecyeon. He doesn’t think of me like the way i .. “
“Then why did he kiss you ?”
Junho’s last sentence caused my heart to thump. I looked at him in disbelief.
“He kissed your forehead. After several minutes of looking at you with such a tender look. They were the eyes of someone who’s crazily in love with you ! Hugging and proposing to you every morning, being so clingy with you, kissing your forehead and caressing you tenderly, if it’s not love then what ?”
Nothing could express my feelings. Should i be happy or the other way around ? Why did he love to play around with me ? Why did he make me fall in love just to break my heart in the end ? Why did he love to give me these small hopes ?
“Are you going to cry, hyung ? Because your eyes are red”
Someone entered the room. It was Taecyeon. He seemed to notice my red eyes, “What’s hap .... Ya, Lee Junho, what did you do to your hyung ? “, there was a small amuck in his voice. Taecyeon was going to pull Junho’s collar, until Chansung stopped him,
“Got a problem with my boyfriend ?”
“That’s okay, Chan.”, Junho pulled Chansung’s hand away from Taecyeon whle giving him his deadliest smile,”i think we should go now. Just take your time”, Junho said as they made their exit.
The situation went awkward. None of us speak first. I looked at his shoes, just because i wasn’t able to look at his face. I wonder what was he looking at. Did he even feel as nervous as me ? Could he hear the sound of my heartbeat even faster than usual ? Could he see the shiver that ran through my body ?
“Sorry. That i raped you”,his words broke the silence and he left me standing there speechless.
Just like that. Just saying those 4 words. Didn’t he want to say more than just an apologize ? Why did he rape me ? Why when he still loved Jaebum-hyung ?
Even on the way to our dorm, those questions still haven’t left my mind. He acted as if he said nothing. And so did Junho and Chansung. From my room, i could hear his voice and Wooyoung’s debating over who will sleep in the living room.
For over 1 hour or more i’ve been trying to sleep, but still, why couldn’t i shut my goddamn eyes ? I’ve loved Taecyeon in a heart-broken way. I thought my heart had gotten too tired over him. I thought i’m over him. The fact that i wasn’t even mad at him for raping me, was clear enough to tell the world that i love him still. In fact, too much. Even after stealing my virginity away. Even after breaking my pride to pieces.
Somebody came in to my room,”Junsu-hyung are you asleep ?”, said the voice that i know all too well. Taecyeon. I continued pretending to be asleep. Taecyeon let out a long sigh and sat on the edge of my bed. His warm big hand caressed my head,”i’ve always loved you, okay ? Such a simple thing, why can’t you understand it ?”
For a moment i thought the time stopped. There was a small amount of electricity that jolted through my body.
Am i still fully awake or have i been in my dream world without me noticing that i have fallen asleep ?
“This kind of thing, i hope i was able to say it when you were awake”
“Im not asleep”, yes, in fact i was touching his hand back. And the warmth was real.
“What the ..”, he quickly stood from the bed, his eyes widened
“Go on. I want to know what you’re going to say”
“What am i supposed to say ? I love you”
“Don’t you love Jay ?”
“I did”,i woke and sat with blanket still covering my legs, and so did he sit again next to me.
“No you didn’t. You DO. Otherwise you wouldn’t keep his photo in your wallet !”
There was a look of confusion in his face,”I don’t get what you mean,hyung”
“Yeah. The brown wallet. Among the heap of your clothes in your wardrobe. And don’t try to lie because i found it and i definitely saw it with my own eyes”
He quickly put a smile on his face,”Hyung, don’t you know that i never leave my wallet ? The one that you just mentioned, it’s the old one. I don’t use it anymore that’s why i left it just among the heap of clothes”. He caressed my cheek as he leaned closer to me,”Believe me. I only love you. There’s nobody else but you”, and gave me a kiss on my lips
I began to drown in his gaze, and his kiss,“But you’ve been watching Jay’s on youtube every night”
“That’s ..”, he whispered. Not to my ear but right on my lips which made me shudder and my heart throbbed faster in an uncontrollable rhythm,”because i want to see your sleeping face”, and glued his lips to mine in just a second.
Lips crashed, Kiss became deeper and more passionate. Clothes thrown on the floor, skin and skin met, hands on each other’s body. Mouth emitting moan with my legs spread wide open as i leaned myself on the edge of the bed, welcoming his tongue as his mouth welcoming my cum for a moment later.
He leaned myself closer to me and whispered that this is just like the first time when he raped me. So i didn’t want to lose and pushed him down on the bed. I Licked his ear for several times and kissed his neck, his chest, down to his nipple and navel which made him shudder. Then i found it, the hard and relatively-big member of him.
I gulped my spit. This was the first time i’m giving a blowjob.
But why the hell should i care about the techniques and all, my tongue just moving up and down around his hardened member following my instinct. He moaned then released his cum in my mouth which nearly make me choke.
Our lips for i don’t know how many times engaged once again in a passionate kiss with his hands tracing over my body as if he wanted to remember every single inch of my skin. And eventually his finger went lower, to my entrance. I moaned right next to his ear and held his back tightly.
This time he pushed me down, making my head in a position where our feet used to be and my feet on my pillow.
Then it came, his member entered my entrance which connected us as once. This time no pillow to muffle my mouth, i accidentally let my moan escape through the open air, but i quickly pulled my blanket. But Taecyeon shoved my hand away. “Let them hear. I wanna see your face”. And he continued to thrust inside of me, until he came for the second time.
Since i haven’t gotten used to it, i guess i collapsed right after he came. Though beside the feeling of his cum leaking out of my entrance, little did i hear him saying,”i love you”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In our surprise, the members weren’t amazed when me and Taecyeon told them we’re going out. Instead they congratulated us with big smiles on their faces. Their reactions were more like children whose parents were going to get divorced but cancelled.
Taecyeon treats me real romantic and soft despite of his beastly appearance. In between our making out session he’d whisper “i love you” on my lips and make me a breakfast in the morning. Though most of the times his sexual desire is higher than anyone else.
We can’t get as close as ChanHo in front of the camera.it’s way too awkward, beside we weren’t that close to begin with. It would be a fuss among the fans if we come out holding hands or waist. So we decided to stay the way we were. Sometimes i get jealous over Junho, seeing him and Chansung got all so lovey-dovey in the camera.
Taecyeon could understand my jealousy, so at night he would hold my hand all the way to dorm from our work. When the door of our room is closed and locked tightly, and the lights went out, all the members would say nothing, because they know what’s exactly happening inside and they should keep it private. Especially when it comes to sexual one.
“After this is Lee Hyori’s performance. You can take some rest first before your secon performance guys”, said one of the staffs.
“Well, i’m gonna do some exercise”, said Junho. Accompanied by Chansung. Well of course, those two are going out. How come i just realized by know ?
Taecyeon quickly made his own way, i think it was to 2AM’s make-up room but i didn’t really care. These past few days i’ve been missing him like hell,i wished that he would quietly enter the room and sleep on the bunk bed on top of me. As usual. But in fact he never came. Even for once. I’m quite ashamed of myself that this thought made me hard to sleep, in fact right now i need more sleep since last night i only slept for around 3 or 4 hours.
I sat on my chair in our dressing room, the situation was very quiet. There was a slight sound of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang being played on the stage, but it wasn’t loud enough to prevent me into a deep sleep.
My eyes started to close slowly. As the time passed, i fell into a deeper sleep. I felt warm and so comfortable. I dreamt of Taecyeon. He was there, smiling at me and caressed my head. I smiled back at him. Though he started to fade slowly, i reached out for him, but there was no use.
“Hyung, wake up, we should rehearse our Without U performance by now”,said Nichkhun as he shoke my body.
Amazingly my eyes were not half-closed. I felt like i just got 24 hours of sleep,“Oh, okay”
“Uhm ... what happened ? Why is there this small-yet-so-obvious smile on your face ?”
“Is it ? Well, maybe since it’s been so long since i slept so comfortably”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So what happened between you and Taecyeon-hyung ?”, asked Junho during our break time in the costume room behind the stage, “And don’t try to say nothing happen because everybody can read what’s going on between you two. A silent fight. It’s time for you to tell me the truth”
“Well .. “, i said hesitantly,”i .. “
“Go on. Don’t hide anything”
And just that, i spilled my thoughts out. Junho would nod sometimes, and he would go “wow” with Jaw dropped. Just like that, i wonder if really did listen to every single word of my thoughts because he seemed to look at me with his solemn gaze.
“He’s head over heels for you”, Junho replied.
“No. He thinks of me as a substitute of Jay”
“Oh really ? Since it doesn’t seem that way. Would somebody who loves Jaebum so much caressed your head and watching you with a tender look while you slept ? “
“When was that ?”
“Right after our Don’t Stop Can’t Stop last performance. When you fell asleep on your table”
“No way. You made that up”
“Why are you so freaking stubborn hyung ? “
“I’m not stubborn ! he still loves JAY and that’s a fact !” , i yelled back at him,”It’s enough,Junho. It’s over between me and Taecyeon. He doesn’t think of me like the way i .. “
“Then why did he kiss you ?”
Junho’s last sentence caused my heart to thump. I looked at him in disbelief.
“He kissed your forehead. After several minutes of looking at you with such a tender look. They were the eyes of someone who’s crazily in love with you ! Hugging and proposing to you every morning, being so clingy with you, kissing your forehead and caressing you tenderly, if it’s not love then what ?”
Nothing could express my feelings. Should i be happy or the other way around ? Why did he love to play around with me ? Why did he make me fall in love just to break my heart in the end ? Why did he love to give me these small hopes ?
“Are you going to cry, hyung ? Because your eyes are red”
Someone entered the room. It was Taecyeon. He seemed to notice my red eyes, “What’s hap .... Ya, Lee Junho, what did you do to your hyung ? “, there was a small amuck in his voice. Taecyeon was going to pull Junho’s collar, until Chansung stopped him,
“Got a problem with my boyfriend ?”
“That’s okay, Chan.”, Junho pulled Chansung’s hand away from Taecyeon whle giving him his deadliest smile,”i think we should go now. Just take your time”, Junho said as they made their exit.
The situation went awkward. None of us speak first. I looked at his shoes, just because i wasn’t able to look at his face. I wonder what was he looking at. Did he even feel as nervous as me ? Could he hear the sound of my heartbeat even faster than usual ? Could he see the shiver that ran through my body ?
“Sorry. That i raped you”,his words broke the silence and he left me standing there speechless.
Just like that. Just saying those 4 words. Didn’t he want to say more than just an apologize ? Why did he rape me ? Why when he still loved Jaebum-hyung ?
Even on the way to our dorm, those questions still haven’t left my mind. He acted as if he said nothing. And so did Junho and Chansung. From my room, i could hear his voice and Wooyoung’s debating over who will sleep in the living room.
For over 1 hour or more i’ve been trying to sleep, but still, why couldn’t i shut my goddamn eyes ? I’ve loved Taecyeon in a heart-broken way. I thought my heart had gotten too tired over him. I thought i’m over him. The fact that i wasn’t even mad at him for raping me, was clear enough to tell the world that i love him still. In fact, too much. Even after stealing my virginity away. Even after breaking my pride to pieces.
Somebody came in to my room,”Junsu-hyung are you asleep ?”, said the voice that i know all too well. Taecyeon. I continued pretending to be asleep. Taecyeon let out a long sigh and sat on the edge of my bed. His warm big hand caressed my head,”i’ve always loved you, okay ? Such a simple thing, why can’t you understand it ?”
For a moment i thought the time stopped. There was a small amount of electricity that jolted through my body.
Am i still fully awake or have i been in my dream world without me noticing that i have fallen asleep ?
“This kind of thing, i hope i was able to say it when you were awake”
“Im not asleep”, yes, in fact i was touching his hand back. And the warmth was real.
“What the ..”, he quickly stood from the bed, his eyes widened
“Go on. I want to know what you’re going to say”
“What am i supposed to say ? I love you”
“Don’t you love Jay ?”
“I did”,i woke and sat with blanket still covering my legs, and so did he sit again next to me.
“No you didn’t. You DO. Otherwise you wouldn’t keep his photo in your wallet !”
There was a look of confusion in his face,”I don’t get what you mean,hyung”
“Yeah. The brown wallet. Among the heap of your clothes in your wardrobe. And don’t try to lie because i found it and i definitely saw it with my own eyes”
He quickly put a smile on his face,”Hyung, don’t you know that i never leave my wallet ? The one that you just mentioned, it’s the old one. I don’t use it anymore that’s why i left it just among the heap of clothes”. He caressed my cheek as he leaned closer to me,”Believe me. I only love you. There’s nobody else but you”, and gave me a kiss on my lips
I began to drown in his gaze, and his kiss,“But you’ve been watching Jay’s on youtube every night”
“That’s ..”, he whispered. Not to my ear but right on my lips which made me shudder and my heart throbbed faster in an uncontrollable rhythm,”because i want to see your sleeping face”, and glued his lips to mine in just a second.
Lips crashed, Kiss became deeper and more passionate. Clothes thrown on the floor, skin and skin met, hands on each other’s body. Mouth emitting moan with my legs spread wide open as i leaned myself on the edge of the bed, welcoming his tongue as his mouth welcoming my cum for a moment later.
He leaned myself closer to me and whispered that this is just like the first time when he raped me. So i didn’t want to lose and pushed him down on the bed. I Licked his ear for several times and kissed his neck, his chest, down to his nipple and navel which made him shudder. Then i found it, the hard and relatively-big member of him.
I gulped my spit. This was the first time i’m giving a blowjob.
But why the hell should i care about the techniques and all, my tongue just moving up and down around his hardened member following my instinct. He moaned then released his cum in my mouth which nearly make me choke.
Our lips for i don’t know how many times engaged once again in a passionate kiss with his hands tracing over my body as if he wanted to remember every single inch of my skin. And eventually his finger went lower, to my entrance. I moaned right next to his ear and held his back tightly.
This time he pushed me down, making my head in a position where our feet used to be and my feet on my pillow.
Then it came, his member entered my entrance which connected us as once. This time no pillow to muffle my mouth, i accidentally let my moan escape through the open air, but i quickly pulled my blanket. But Taecyeon shoved my hand away. “Let them hear. I wanna see your face”. And he continued to thrust inside of me, until he came for the second time.
Since i haven’t gotten used to it, i guess i collapsed right after he came. Though beside the feeling of his cum leaking out of my entrance, little did i hear him saying,”i love you”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In our surprise, the members weren’t amazed when me and Taecyeon told them we’re going out. Instead they congratulated us with big smiles on their faces. Their reactions were more like children whose parents were going to get divorced but cancelled.
Taecyeon treats me real romantic and soft despite of his beastly appearance. In between our making out session he’d whisper “i love you” on my lips and make me a breakfast in the morning. Though most of the times his sexual desire is higher than anyone else.
We can’t get as close as ChanHo in front of the camera.it’s way too awkward, beside we weren’t that close to begin with. It would be a fuss among the fans if we come out holding hands or waist. So we decided to stay the way we were. Sometimes i get jealous over Junho, seeing him and Chansung got all so lovey-dovey in the camera.
Taecyeon could understand my jealousy, so at night he would hold my hand all the way to dorm from our work. When the door of our room is closed and locked tightly, and the lights went out, all the members would say nothing, because they know what’s exactly happening inside and they should keep it private. Especially when it comes to sexual one.