If I'm flying solo, atleast I'm flying free.
I actually sat down and had a serious conversation with my mother last night about my life, and the things I've been doing, and people I'm interested in. It amazed me, that she actually approved of everything, and everyone. She just said "I want you to finally be happy, and if being with him will do that, then go for it". I was surprised that she even took the time to listen to me, but I guess she realizes that I've been really down, and lonely lately, but when I came home the other night, I was actually smiling. I was honestly happy, for the first time in... well a long time. We talked about the guy from work, Marcus, and she told me that it wasn't wrong to lie to him, sometimes it's better to tell a small lie, then tell the truth, and hurt someone, but I still feel really bad about it, so maybe I'll just tell him the truth. I'm just not interested in him that's all. There's really only one person, (I know it's a first), and I don't even know how things are going with that.
I think that I might attempt to patch things up with my father. I know that I will never forgive him, even though I pray to God each night that I someday will, and that we will never have a normal father daughter relationship, but the longer I sit here, and dwell on the past, the harder it's going to be for me to reach that point in my life, where I can finally look and say "I'm content with my life and everything in it". I've just let everything get to me,and thought everything was my fault, I now know that it wasn't and there was nothing that I did wrong. It's a wonderful feeling when you can come to a conclusion like that after 14 years of blaming yourself.
~Jessica Lynn~
I think that I might attempt to patch things up with my father. I know that I will never forgive him, even though I pray to God each night that I someday will, and that we will never have a normal father daughter relationship, but the longer I sit here, and dwell on the past, the harder it's going to be for me to reach that point in my life, where I can finally look and say "I'm content with my life and everything in it". I've just let everything get to me,and thought everything was my fault, I now know that it wasn't and there was nothing that I did wrong. It's a wonderful feeling when you can come to a conclusion like that after 14 years of blaming yourself.
~Jessica Lynn~