!! rage rant (to be deleted soon)
I'm having a rage fit right now so I guess lj is not the most appropriate place to allow it to manifest itself but it is a better alternative than my mother's throat which feels like one of the only other options right now. My reservations at The Cypress Inn in Carmel whichis my favorite hotel in the entire universe have been fucked up and the stupid man on the phone who made my reservations with a funny accent booked me for the WRONG MONTH! So i'm totally fucked and no other good hotels can fit me in because its fucking spring break and the horse show and i dont even want to stay anywhere else anyways i wanted to stay at the Dorris Day Founded Dog Hotel the Cypress Inn! And also I think its just going to rain during the whole entire fucking show because that is how it has been this year and tehre is no point to me even going to pebble beach in the first place except to see jenna but how can i see her when i am sitting here screaming my head off and crying because things arent working out for me. But whats really putting me over the edge right now isnt the god damned reservations, much more its about the fact that i hate both of my parents so fucking much these days! they are so annoying. and my current problem with them is that my mother wont shut up about my stupid budget and how many shows im going to be able to go to this year with two horses etc. and yet now she wont help me figure out if i should just not go to pebble beach at all and if i do decide not to go what should I do and now its like I dont even want to go at all because i just wanted to stay at the cypress inn and have jenna over and i dont want to stay in some shit place and mom wouldnt let me stay in the place with jecuzzis in the rooms because its too expensive and i need to make sure that i can go to del mar and i dont want to waste money on a show that i've already been to and that is going to be wet and have bad footing and not even a good hotel to stay in!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont even care if i do sound like a rich spoiled brat right now like mom says. im not rich. were fucking poor and thats the problem and if im spoiled then its her fault and not mine.
and whats more, my dad took my car this morning totally without asking and he has just been irritating me so much lately that i wish i could divorce him. i guess i just really need to get out of this house. its just ridiculous. im crying. its morning time. tears are staining my fresh facialized face. i feel like screaming. but i can't. or else ill just get screamed back at. so here i am, screaming at my lj because it doesnt have a voice box and it cant scream back at me.
and whats more, my dad took my car this morning totally without asking and he has just been irritating me so much lately that i wish i could divorce him. i guess i just really need to get out of this house. its just ridiculous. im crying. its morning time. tears are staining my fresh facialized face. i feel like screaming. but i can't. or else ill just get screamed back at. so here i am, screaming at my lj because it doesnt have a voice box and it cant scream back at me.