It's only 40 miles down some road before you can run away from everything.
After doing some thinking and talking with friends, I've decided to make a positive change in life. Maybe the reason that I would get such varying degrees in my moods was because of the things that I was doing to my body. Pot and alcohol are fun things to mess around with, but after awhile, you just get sick of it. You reach a point where you want something more than to feel differently than you are. Maybe there was a reason that I drank sometimes. More than I'd like to admit, or would have admitted at the time. I guess that I was searching for some sort of purpose or meaning to my existance. That maybe I would have a great conversation when I was drunk and come across a new found reason to live. Well.. it never happened. And I don't think it ever will if I'm impaired.
I think that alcohol may have been my excuse to make out my life to be more exciting than it really was. The fact that there had to be a plan to put it all down and to get together friends to do it. Really, there are better ways to spend my time. It's gonna be hard to put some of these things behind me but I think I can do it. I'd like to stay sober for at least a month. See how things are going at the end of November. Maybe I'll like the new me.. maybe you will too. Either way, this is what I think is the best for me at this moment. I'm cutting those substances in my life. Cold turkey. Love me for it.. hate me for it.. think I'm a pussy for it.. I really don't care. I'm not looking for your approval nor for your disapproval. It's for me.
I think that alcohol may have been my excuse to make out my life to be more exciting than it really was. The fact that there had to be a plan to put it all down and to get together friends to do it. Really, there are better ways to spend my time. It's gonna be hard to put some of these things behind me but I think I can do it. I'd like to stay sober for at least a month. See how things are going at the end of November. Maybe I'll like the new me.. maybe you will too. Either way, this is what I think is the best for me at this moment. I'm cutting those substances in my life. Cold turkey. Love me for it.. hate me for it.. think I'm a pussy for it.. I really don't care. I'm not looking for your approval nor for your disapproval. It's for me.