And Only When You Can't Come, Do I Want You Here The Most
Title: And Only When You Can’t Come, Do I Want You Here The Most
Author: EmonyJade
Fandom: Gaither!CollegeAU
Pairing: Ryan/Doug, Strongly Implied Marsh/Wes, Implied: Marsh/Doug
Rating: PG-13 for language and situations
Warning: -
Word Count: -
Plot: Marsh and Doug, and eventually Wes help Doug with his gay crisis- The American Eagle employee across from him in the mall.
Doug sits down in front of Marsh at his table in the library. “So there’s this guy…”
Marshall blinks. He never thought he would here that line come out of his friend or anyone let alone Doug.
“A- guy.” He’s not exactly surprised, more confused than anything. Sure, Doug’s had his pick of many a busty blue-eyed babe in the almost year-and-a-half he’s known him but he’d never given them the time of day. Marsh really only thought that Doug was busy with school or partying or whatever he does with his time when he’s not working or hanging out with Marsh, which lately, seems to be all the time.
“A guy.” Doug repeats, and Marsh lifts his head which had tilted down in his deep thought.
“Who-” Marsh meant to ask more but Doug cut him off with a sharp laugh.
“He works at the American Eagle across the aisle from me in the mall. He gets a double vanilla espresso every morning and we have small-talk but…”
“You want more…” Marsh’s voice hung on that last word, trying to get Doug to notice the deeper meaning.
“No. Well, I mean, eventually, sure, I might want more from this guy but right now, well, I just wanna have a longer than 2 minute conversation with him.”
Marsh places his book- pages up and open on the table between them and leans back in his chair.
“How long have you been talking to this guy? I mean, this is the first I’ve heard of him…”
“A couple months, I don’t know.”
Marsh nods his head a bit unconvincingly and Doug’s face quickly changes.
“Hey, man, I would’ve told you earlier, I just- Listen, I didn’t think you wanted to hear about my gay crisis ‘s all.”
“You’re having a gay crisis on me now.” Marsh huffs a breath. “But I’m pretty glad you waited to tell me. I’m assuming that because you told me you want advice? Cause before, if you would’ve just told me you would’ve gotten a lotta homo jokes.”
“You know homo jokes? Aw man, at least I’m teaching you something.”
“I can still use ‘em, ya know.”
Doug laughs but Marsh knows he wants to get back to the subject at hand.
“So this gay crisis, he got a name?”
“Yeah, I mean, everyone at American Eagle calls him Pretty Boy but I highly doubt that’s his real name.”
“If it was, I might even be able to talk to him. That’s a great conversation starter.” Marsh gives a chuckle and then continues. “You- you’ve been talking to this guy for how long and you still don’t know his name?”
“Yeah, I guess, it just never came up.”
“So you wanna talk to him. What do you need my help for?”
Doug sighs. “I didn’t know who else to ask.”
“I don’t have to be like, fake gay boyfriend for you or anything right?”
Doug laughs but obviously doesn’t think it’s very funny.
“No. I need your- In a hypothetical situation, how would you want a guy to approach you to take you out on a date?”
Marsh shrugs. “How long do I have on the clock, Alex, I’m gonna have to think about this.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I’ve just never been faced with an ‘if I were the object of gay lust’ question before. I’m gonna have to think about it for a while.”
“How long is a while cause I’ve gotta go back to the mall after my next class.”
Marsh looks at his watch and then bolts up out of his chair, back rest hitting the wall behind it with a loud boom and a hush from the librarian. He mouths his and Doug’s apologies and then turns back to Doug.
“We’re gonna be late. It’s five to 3 and you’ve still got to go all the way to lecture hall.”
“Find me when you’re done?”
“Yeah, I’ll check this spot cause you’ll probably be studying.”
“I have class too, you know.” Marsh tells Doug as he starts to walk away.
“I know you, Kip, you’ve got flaming obsessive study disorder. You’ll be in there.”
Doug was walking backwards, shouting his one-liner to Marsh as he walked away, and turned just in time to turn the corner on the way to his next class.
Marsh knew he studied a lot, but that wasn’t even the thing that got to him. Damn, parents, he had thought when Doug had asked him was his middle name was, damn parents for giving him and his brothers matching initials, damn parents for giving him a nickname for a middle name. Kip. Shouldn’t even be a word, he’d told himself when he first realized he’d be stuck with it for life. Unlike he, though, Doug couldn’t get enough of the name, usually calls him it when he’s teasing but this time, it was a nickname, one word to say, ‘friend’ and ‘I can trust you’. It wasn’t that bad this time, tolerable even, but Marsh comprehends, with a sudden realization that he, too, has a class and gathers his book bag up and heads toward the room.
Marsh’s class gets out early so he has enough time when he gets to the library to prove Doug wrong. He proceeds down the hallway to the lecture hall.
“Kip! What brings you to this end of the pond?!” Doug teases, a little more excited than Marsh expected but this, Marsh was glad to find his voice teasing.
“Well, I- I know-” He stutters out, he always felt a little out-of-place with Doug’s basketball buddies which, from the height, looked like that’s who was surrounding him. Does Doug really want him to say ‘I know how you can talk to that guy you’ve had your eye on’ to him around his friends? His head buzzes, searching for the right words.
“You got an answer to my crisis?”
Marsh lets out a breath. “Yeah, yeah, I do.”
“Alright, Kip, let’s go talk. I’ll see ya later, guys!”
Doug waves goodbye to his friends and puts a friendly arm around Marsh’s shoulder, walking down the hall.
Marsh realizes Doug is looking at him, probably searching for the information Marsh acquired.
“It’s a nice day, picnic table in the park fine for you?”
“Works for me.” Awkwardly, almost more awkward that it was in the first place, Doug releases his arm from around Marsh.
Marsh stuffs his hands into his pockets. “So, how was class?”
“Eh, it was class. Nothing really special happened. ‘cept I found out that like everyone is going to some huge party for New Years.”
“Did someone ask you to go?”
Doug shakes his head and looks down and back in front of him again. “No. It’s probably just gonna be a keggar in a backyard anyway.”
“Sounds like a Lexington party. Also sounds like your kinda party.”
Doug shrugs.
“Yeah, I guess it is. Helps if there’s people I know though. Sounds like it was gonna be a whole bunch of people I don’t know.”
“That’s understandable.”
When they get to the courtyard of the school, Marsh gestures to a table and they sit, both setting book bags on the benches.
“You’re right. It’s a nice day.” Doug looks around. “I don’t usually get to just take in the day but this- it’s nice.”
They both pause, taking in the sights of people throwing a Frisbee or just basking in the sunshade beneath a tree with a book.
“So I was thinking about your crisis.”
Doug perks and looks at Marsh whose retrieved a pair of sunglasses, he assumes, from his bag.
“And?”
“Well, what do you know about this guy? I mean, other than he is hot apparently and he drinks vanilla whatever.”
“From what it sounds like, his family has money, he’s still in high school but he doesn’t have many friends he can just hang out and talk to.”
“He told you that? That he doesn’t have friends to talk to?”
Doug looks perplexed. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t remember his exact words but that pretty much summed it up.”
“Dude, he was giving you an ’in’.”
“What?” Doug turns sputtering-frantic. “He- He wants to be- oh my god, how didn’t I know this before? You really think that cause he- oh shit, he wants more of a friendship with me.”
Marsh sits, jaw-dropped, then grabs Doug‘s shoulders with his hands.
“Dude. Snap out of it.”
Doug looks up, eyes shining. “Marsh, you’re a fucking genius.”
He pulls his arms back. “Well, I wouldn’t go as far as to say that, but I feel pretty proud of myself so far. It couldn’t help that you’re an idiot.”
“Kip, love makes us blind to all logical reasoning, you can’t judge me for that…”
“I thought this was a friendship. Not a relationship.”
“Who knows, someday it could blossom into a beautiful relationship. And because of your ability to see past American Eagle guy, I’ll have the chance to see that through.”
“Yeah, okay. Whatever you say.”
They sat for a couple minutes more, relishing in the afternoon sun, and air just getting cold enough to feel comfortable in a sweatshirt, before they separated, Marsh going to his dorm room and Doug, home.
They haven’t spoken, well, more than texting at least, for about a month; they’d both been busy. But, Doug needs to tell Marsh about his crisis turned revelation so he gets out his phone and calls.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Kip! You working?”
Marsh made a noise. “Yeah, but I can go on break.”
“I can call you back…”
“Nah, it’s okay. I’m just stocking shelves.” Doug hears Marsh call to his boss and then a large door slams and wind blows gently through the phone.
“Jeez. I’m glad your boss is so lenient.”
“You and me both. What’d you call about?”
“Um, it’s about my crisis.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, well, turns out it’s not a crisis anymore.”
“Really? What happened?”
Doug sighs. “I talked to him on Tuesday when he came to get his coffee…”
“And?”
“Well, I had the cup sitting out, all steaming and ready, and honest, he looked pretty surprised.”
“Surprised?”
“Yeah, like I wouldn’t remember what he ordered nearly everyday for the past three months.”
“Knowing you, you probably wouldn’t.”
“Shut up. Anyway, he started to walk away after he paid and I stopped him, told him I’d been serving him since I started and that I didn’t know his name. ‘Ryan.’ he said, with the biggest smile I’d ever seen, comparable to you with a book, I swear.”
Marsh laughs.
“Yeah? What’d you say?”
“What’d I say? God, I couldn’t think. I think he realized though because he asked me what my name was. I told him and he kinda came back towards me and shook my hand.”
“Was that the end of it?”
“God, no. Somehow that touch made my brain turn back on and I just blurted out that we should hang out sometime.”
“Lemme guess, you scared him away?”
Doug chucked. “No, damn, I kinda wish…”
“Why do you wish you scared him away? What happened?”
“He asked me to a party. This New Year’s party at his parent’s house. He told me to check his Facebook for details.”
“No way! A party? Did you check it out-” Marsh has a sudden realization. “Um, did you get a last name so you could find him?”
“No, God, better. He took the insulater thing off the cup, saying that he doesn’t use it anyway and wrote his number and e-mail on it for me. Got it in my pocket right now. I’m thinkin’ of putting it on my bulletin board.”
“Are you gonna call him, or e-mail him, or something?”
“Yeah, I don’t know, man. I mean, he gave them to me but I think it was just for like questions or some shit like that.”
“Doug!”
“What?”
“Do I have to remind you what happened last time you didn’t think twice about something this guy, well, said?’
“No, but-” Marsh cuts him off.
“Dude, he asked you to a party, gave you his number and his email and told you to look up his Facebook and you still think this guy has totally platonic intentions?”
“Well…” Doug doesn’t quite know what to think.
Marsh sighs through the phone. “Just- Call the guy, or email him, or write on his wall, Something. Can you do that?”
“Yeah…” Doug sounds pained, as if the doesn’t exactly want to agree with Marsh.
“Doug?”
“Yeah, yes.” He corrected. “Fine. I’ll do something.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll believe it when I hear about it.”
Doug can hear Marsh getting called by his boss as the door opens again and Marsh retort.
“Hey, listen, I gotta get back to work.”
“Yeah, okay. Text me when you get done.”
“Kay, bye.”
“Yep, bye.”
Doug closes his phone and throws it on his bed. He didn’t think this guy made him that lovestruck, but it sure seemed that way.
Doug has the day free from school and work but he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. Sure, he gets days off but he usually takes overtime to pay for school and that takes up most of his time. He thinks about trolling the mall just because but he sees that place way too much. He gets up and bounds down the stairs to the kitchen, looking in the fridge.
“Doug, honey, why do you insist on tromping through the house in your underwear?”
Doug jumps, successfully hitting his head on the top shelf of the fridge. He turns, hand on his head, and meets his mom’s eyes.
“Ma! I‘m a man, it‘s what we do.”
“Well, can you do it somewhere else, like in your room?”
“I could, but I’m hungry. And now my head hurts.”
“Well, if you had clothes on, your head wouldn’t be hurting.”
“Well, if we had food in this house, I wouldn’t have had to climb into the fridge.”
She sighs. “I can give you some money if you want to go shopping for me.”
“Isn’t Pop gonna go after work?”
She shakes her head. “No. He’s gotta work late tonight. They’ve got to get this apartment structure done by the end of the week so he’s probably gonna be there ‘til dark.”
“And you?”
“Doug, dear, I’ve got to work night shift at the hospital tonight.” She digs into her purse. “Here’s the Rainbow card and the Visa.” she holds out the cards but pulls them back when Doug reaches for them.
“Remember, this is for groceries only, and school supplies if you need them. I don’t wanna see you coming home with video games or Cds or anything. You hear me. Groceries and supplies only.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Doug took the cards and shoved them into the wallet in his back pocket.
“You want to buy fun stuff, you use your own money. That’s why you have a job.”
“Yeah, ma, I got it.”
“Go get dressed, I’ll be gone by the time you leave.”
“Love ya, ma.” He kisses her on the cheek and then goes to his room to get clothes on.
Doug has the cart almost full by the time Marsh texts him.
Hey, just got off work. Got a Journey CD 50% off. Love that stuff.
Doug laughs and throws some frozen vegetables in the cart and then heads to the pizza section.
ur stuk in the 80s man.
He hits send a picks out a couple pizzas, fitting them inline with the side of the cart.
At least I’m not wrapped up on a guy that makes me go all weak in the knees around him…
Doug nearly stops. He didn’t get weak knees around Ryan, he just got a little flustered. Huge difference he thought.
i didnt get week nees. you no he told me about a partee
Doug sighs and walks looks at the list his mom left him and after a double check of getting everything, he heads to the check-out.
Did too. Yeah, New Year’s thing, right?”
Doug starts putting food on the conveyor belt until the bagboy offers to take care of it for him. Doug gives him the go-ahead and types out a reply to Marsh.
ya, wen i no mor about it do u wanna cum with me?
He hits send and within seconds his phone is buzzing, Marsh calling. He holds it to his ear.
“Marsh? Hey.”
“Hey, ya know, just because I helped you with your Ryan thing doesn’t mean I’ll be your date.”
“What, no, I didn’t mean it like that, man, I just thought it might be a little easier to deal with if I had someone I knew there.”
“What would happen if you guys did hook up or leave or something, I’d be the third wheel, dude.”
“Come on, Marsh, you gotta do this for me.”
Marsh breathes heavily through the phone. “Yeah, man, I’ll think about it.”
“Kay. That’s what I like to hear. Is that all you wanted.”
“Yeah, I mean, I guess.”
“Kay, See ya-”
“Doug, wait!”
“Yeah, yeah, what?”
“Contact the guy!” Doug hears a sharp click on the phone and then the line goes dead.
Doug takes the phone from his ear and looks at it, almost as it was the one that hung up on him.
“Excuse me-” The clerk says, consuming Doug’s attention.
“Huh?”
“You’re total comes to 163-81, how would you like to pay?”
“Um, credit, I guess.” He digs out his wallet and pulls out the credit card along with the store card. “I got this too.”
“Okay…” She takes both cards and swipes the store card and hears a automated beep before swiping the Visa. “Sign, please.”
He takes the mock-pen and writes his name on the screen before taking pack the cards and stuffing them back into his pocket.
“Receipt?”
He nods. “In the bag, please.”
She nods also and he goes to his cart, now filled with paper and the bagboy, handsome and tall, hands the final bag with the receipt and bread inside to Doug.
“Thanks.”
The boy smiles. “No problem.”
On the way to the car, Doug thinks of the bagboy and his similarities to Ryan, tall, long handsome face, brown hair similar to his own. He can’t get over the fact that the kid’s smile was in no way comparable to Ryan’s though. Almost as if the boys smile was distanced and Ryan’s felt somewhat attached, like there was a friend or confidant notion behind it.
He still has a month before the party, a month to get to know this guy a little better, to actually contact him, to convince Marshall to tag along and finally, a month to find out how to woo this guy when surrounded by his friends. The last item on the list is the one he dreads the most.
Notes: Work in progress. this part isnt done nor is it the first, last, or entire part