Numb3rs Fic: The Naked Mathematician
Title: The Naked Mathematician
Author: Emony
Rating: FRT
Disclaimer: Numb3rs is CBS and Falacci and Heuton.
Characters: Colby, Charlie, David, Don.
Summary: Doing as he's ordered gets Colby in trouble - again.
Words: 1,139.
Notes: Holiday present for entangled_now, Happy Holidays, hon!
***
Colby headed into the locker room to look for his tac vest, he'd put it down somewhere and couldn't find it. The locker room was rectangular, with rows of lockers and in the far left corner was an entry into the shower... corridor would be the best way to put it. A long row of showers, with a shelf and mirror running along the wall opposite... and, no, Colby wasn't ever going to ask why the FBI male showers needed a mirror like that.
Colby's locker was the last locker before the showers - which was a total pain most days as the floor was usually soaking wet and gave him a new appreciation for his sisters back when they'd complained at him about soggy towels and wet floors.
As he reached his locker he heard humming coming from the showers, while that could be said to be a little unusual it wasn't that out of place so he ignored it in favour of looking for his vest. He yanked open his locker and found the vest sitting at the base, giving him one of those you're an idiot looks... if inanimate objects could do that... well, this one certainly could.
"Colby, is that you?"
Huh? Charlie, what's Charlie doing in the shower? Why's he- don't think about it!
"Uhm yeah, Charlie. It's me."
"Great!"
Oh god, no don't think- too late... naked, wet Charlie... asking for me...*guh*
"Uh... Colby, you still there?"
"Yes." That was not a squeak.
"Great, can you go and get a camera for me?"
"What?" Still not squeaking... and god, stop putting images in my head Charlie!
"Uh... I need to... uh...math! I have math that needs... I can't leave it and I need to record it so... camera?"
"You have math?" Oh, God, naked, wet, pleased to hear me Charlie with math.
"On the mirror."
"Oh." Because, really, what else can you say to that, other than that's probably not the use the FBI expected that mirror to be used for... not that I'm thinking about that right now.
"Colby?"
"Camera, right, I'll go and get it."
At least when Don's killing me for this one I can say I was following his orders. He did say to help Charlie with his math whenever he needed it. Just no thinking about naked, wet, pleased-
"Christmas presents. Granpa..."
***
The first anyone else knew of it was when David tried to get Colby's attention as he was crossing bullpen.
"Granger!"
Colby ignored him and carried on muttering something.
"Granger! Colby man, you listening to me?"
Colby ignored him again, but as David got closer he could hear what it was that Colby was muttering,
"Not socks this year, maybe a tie? Nah, how about... nope. Never mind Granpa, what about Mom? She really liked those chef lessons so how about something for the kitchen? Bread maker? Ice cream maker? Ah... pasta press thing."
As Colby reached his desk and started rooting around in the drawers his muttering trailed off and David noted a blush spreading across his partners face. Suddenly the muttering started again,
"Uncle Matt and Aunt Sally. Hmm. They didn't think much of the picture from last year, so how about- ah ha!"
At this point he pulled a camera from his desk and turned back and started walking the way he'd come, once again muttering.
"Granger!"
Colby blinked suddenly and came to a stop, turning back to David,
"You want something, Sinclair?"
"What are you doing?"
"Camera. Charlie," was all the answer he got before Colby once again turned back and headed out going through his Christmas shopping list.
But isn't Charlie in the showers? David thought, oh, huh, that explains the list, not like thinking about math would help... but what the hell did he need the camera for?
***
Colby re-entered the locker room, glad to see it was still empty, and walked towards the showers. As he neared the corridor he shouted,
"Charlie!"
Getting no answer he tried again,
"Charlie! You still in there?"
Crap! Can't just go, what if he's slipped and knocked himself out.
"Charlie?" he called again as he walked into the entrance of the showers.
No answer, and the bottom end of the corridor was almost covered in steam.
Ok, Granger. You have to do this. But no looking! Even if you really want to.
Colby took a step inside the corridor, and another and it became easier to walk towards Charlie, especially as he still couldn't see him.
"Charlie?"
Don't panic he's probably gone into one of math trance things.
Finally he reached a point where he could see the professor, and boy could he see- Stop it!
Charlie was entranced in whatever equation he was currently drawing on the mirror with his finger in the condensation caused by the shower's steam. Colby shook himself as he realised he had been as much entranced in the... view.
"Charlie? I'm just going to see if I can get a picture of the equation, ok?"
Still getting no answer Colby attempted to find a decent viewpoint.
Fortunately, he coughed; unfortunately the decent viewpoint was from directly behind Charlie. He stood, inches from the naked man, and tried to set the camera up so it would pick up all the marks. He took several pictures, checked to see that came out properly, he took a step back,
"Hey, Charlie, picture's are done."
Charlie's only response was to reach up and wipe away the equation and wait until he could write again. As he began writing again Colby had no idea where he was supposed to look, he had in front of him the Charlie of his fantasies; the professor lost in his work, the man naked and wet, the muscles of his back shifting as he wrote across the mirror.
Colby shut his eyes.
Moments later he heard Charlie shift into a stop, the man spoke before he could open his eyes,
"Colby? Why are your eyes shut?" A beat. "Oh. Uh, can you just photograph this last bit while I grab my towel?"
"Uh, sure."
***
The first and only thing Don knew about it was when Charlie reappeared from the shower room around the time that he himself got back to the bullpen. He watched as Colby Granger blushed and wouldn't look his brother in the face as he handed over a camera.
He noticed that David seemed to be attempting to cover a snigger and that Charlie had that 'I've just discovered something amazing' look on his face.
"Granger?" He asked, trying not laugh as his tough he-man agent jumped at his voice.
"Just following orders, Don."
Any further interrogation of the suspect was stopped as Megan almost ran into the war room with a pile of folders and gestured them all in.
End fic.
Author: Emony
Rating: FRT
Disclaimer: Numb3rs is CBS and Falacci and Heuton.
Characters: Colby, Charlie, David, Don.
Summary: Doing as he's ordered gets Colby in trouble - again.
Words: 1,139.
Notes: Holiday present for entangled_now, Happy Holidays, hon!
***
Colby headed into the locker room to look for his tac vest, he'd put it down somewhere and couldn't find it. The locker room was rectangular, with rows of lockers and in the far left corner was an entry into the shower... corridor would be the best way to put it. A long row of showers, with a shelf and mirror running along the wall opposite... and, no, Colby wasn't ever going to ask why the FBI male showers needed a mirror like that.
Colby's locker was the last locker before the showers - which was a total pain most days as the floor was usually soaking wet and gave him a new appreciation for his sisters back when they'd complained at him about soggy towels and wet floors.
As he reached his locker he heard humming coming from the showers, while that could be said to be a little unusual it wasn't that out of place so he ignored it in favour of looking for his vest. He yanked open his locker and found the vest sitting at the base, giving him one of those you're an idiot looks... if inanimate objects could do that... well, this one certainly could.
"Colby, is that you?"
Huh? Charlie, what's Charlie doing in the shower? Why's he- don't think about it!
"Uhm yeah, Charlie. It's me."
"Great!"
Oh god, no don't think- too late... naked, wet Charlie... asking for me...*guh*
"Uh... Colby, you still there?"
"Yes." That was not a squeak.
"Great, can you go and get a camera for me?"
"What?" Still not squeaking... and god, stop putting images in my head Charlie!
"Uh... I need to... uh...math! I have math that needs... I can't leave it and I need to record it so... camera?"
"You have math?" Oh, God, naked, wet, pleased to hear me Charlie with math.
"On the mirror."
"Oh." Because, really, what else can you say to that, other than that's probably not the use the FBI expected that mirror to be used for... not that I'm thinking about that right now.
"Colby?"
"Camera, right, I'll go and get it."
At least when Don's killing me for this one I can say I was following his orders. He did say to help Charlie with his math whenever he needed it. Just no thinking about naked, wet, pleased-
"Christmas presents. Granpa..."
***
The first anyone else knew of it was when David tried to get Colby's attention as he was crossing bullpen.
"Granger!"
Colby ignored him and carried on muttering something.
"Granger! Colby man, you listening to me?"
Colby ignored him again, but as David got closer he could hear what it was that Colby was muttering,
"Not socks this year, maybe a tie? Nah, how about... nope. Never mind Granpa, what about Mom? She really liked those chef lessons so how about something for the kitchen? Bread maker? Ice cream maker? Ah... pasta press thing."
As Colby reached his desk and started rooting around in the drawers his muttering trailed off and David noted a blush spreading across his partners face. Suddenly the muttering started again,
"Uncle Matt and Aunt Sally. Hmm. They didn't think much of the picture from last year, so how about- ah ha!"
At this point he pulled a camera from his desk and turned back and started walking the way he'd come, once again muttering.
"Granger!"
Colby blinked suddenly and came to a stop, turning back to David,
"You want something, Sinclair?"
"What are you doing?"
"Camera. Charlie," was all the answer he got before Colby once again turned back and headed out going through his Christmas shopping list.
But isn't Charlie in the showers? David thought, oh, huh, that explains the list, not like thinking about math would help... but what the hell did he need the camera for?
***
Colby re-entered the locker room, glad to see it was still empty, and walked towards the showers. As he neared the corridor he shouted,
"Charlie!"
Getting no answer he tried again,
"Charlie! You still in there?"
Crap! Can't just go, what if he's slipped and knocked himself out.
"Charlie?" he called again as he walked into the entrance of the showers.
No answer, and the bottom end of the corridor was almost covered in steam.
Ok, Granger. You have to do this. But no looking! Even if you really want to.
Colby took a step inside the corridor, and another and it became easier to walk towards Charlie, especially as he still couldn't see him.
"Charlie?"
Don't panic he's probably gone into one of math trance things.
Finally he reached a point where he could see the professor, and boy could he see- Stop it!
Charlie was entranced in whatever equation he was currently drawing on the mirror with his finger in the condensation caused by the shower's steam. Colby shook himself as he realised he had been as much entranced in the... view.
"Charlie? I'm just going to see if I can get a picture of the equation, ok?"
Still getting no answer Colby attempted to find a decent viewpoint.
Fortunately, he coughed; unfortunately the decent viewpoint was from directly behind Charlie. He stood, inches from the naked man, and tried to set the camera up so it would pick up all the marks. He took several pictures, checked to see that came out properly, he took a step back,
"Hey, Charlie, picture's are done."
Charlie's only response was to reach up and wipe away the equation and wait until he could write again. As he began writing again Colby had no idea where he was supposed to look, he had in front of him the Charlie of his fantasies; the professor lost in his work, the man naked and wet, the muscles of his back shifting as he wrote across the mirror.
Colby shut his eyes.
Moments later he heard Charlie shift into a stop, the man spoke before he could open his eyes,
"Colby? Why are your eyes shut?" A beat. "Oh. Uh, can you just photograph this last bit while I grab my towel?"
"Uh, sure."
***
The first and only thing Don knew about it was when Charlie reappeared from the shower room around the time that he himself got back to the bullpen. He watched as Colby Granger blushed and wouldn't look his brother in the face as he handed over a camera.
He noticed that David seemed to be attempting to cover a snigger and that Charlie had that 'I've just discovered something amazing' look on his face.
"Granger?" He asked, trying not laugh as his tough he-man agent jumped at his voice.
"Just following orders, Don."
Any further interrogation of the suspect was stopped as Megan almost ran into the war room with a pile of folders and gestured them all in.
End fic.