Bittersweet
so here it goes....sometimes, you need to just let go. in my life there are soo many things that need to be released in my life. probably the #1 thing would be all the regrets i have in my life. i always say to people, "dont live with regrets," when i am the heathen not living my life to the fullest but living my life full of regrets. im going to speak in general terms because some of this stuff goes way back...take this beautiful amazing girl for starters. she was probably one of the best things that had ever happened in my life and i completely threw everything she did for me right in her face. she was soo perfect and i let her slip through my fingers so many times because i wasnt paying close enough attention. another thing i find that gets to me sometimes is the fact that i let my dad pass up an incredible opportunity as a pastor in a huge church in fort myers because i had to be selfish and not leave my friends. how much easier things would have been, being we took that route the last couple of years rather than the route we are now on. this is the last really big regret that i have let run my life....after getting over the loss of someone i knew i would never get back a new special someone came into my life. she took my heart and ran with it. then she tripped while running and dropped me off a cliff then fell on top of it. still i always saw the good in her. no matter how many times she spat on my heart crumpled it up and threw it away, i always had this longing to be with her. that went on for the last couple of years. recently i decided to endeavor on a journey that would put me completely out there for the taking and once again she trampled over me. i guess i had it coming...but, the one thing i have realized through all of these different things is that God loves me. God has a plan for me. God has it all under control and God is not giving up on me, but making me stronger. i need to really learn to trust God through all the situations (not just the good ones) and constantly rely on him for good direction. throughout all of these things that have happened God is going to use them the way he wants and he has the perfect plan for me that is slowly unraveling.
new improved
w/out regrets
nate