entry number one-life has been a living hell 10/7/08
OK first of all i am soo sorry tht it took me soo long to get to entry number one.but here it is
hello diary,so wow i cant beleve im writing in you for the 1st time.i need somone to tlk to.its reely hard rite now and i dont know what to do.But i guess i can tell you my past.i am 17 years old and i currently live with my dad.my big brother,mathew just moved to california,and left me with this crazy man.my mom died when i was 7 years old of cancer,so i havent had a mom for ten years now i guess,idk i dont keep up with the years,its too painful.so yeh the reason why i am writing this is because if i dont make it through all this i would love to have an existing written journal of my life,just to prove tht i exist.so my dad hates me cus im emo and he doesnt reely like the fact tht im emo and i dont listen to him.He wont let dylan come over.and dylan is like my bestest bestest friend ever.Hes the only one i can reely trust rite now.ughhhhh im so confused.and school doesnt help.every day i get beat up and teased.im failing school because i cant sleep at night,i cant go get my medicine for tht bipolar sht tht i have and soo im going crazy.ughhh.what would you say if i said i was gonna kill myself.no lie.im not just talking bout it.i have been suicidal for a long time now.my dads slutty gf wont shut up.she tells me tht i should join a sports team.im not in to sports,i cant play good at all.i just got off of using marijuana and ive done moved to heroin.ohhh i love the feeling it ives me.its undescribable.and i know tht Charles dont care(my dad) if i die alone.i guess thts what is meant for me.to die alone.take my life.so i wont have to be here as some ugly thing that just takes up space on this earth.and im sorry i exist.
hello diary,so wow i cant beleve im writing in you for the 1st time.i need somone to tlk to.its reely hard rite now and i dont know what to do.But i guess i can tell you my past.i am 17 years old and i currently live with my dad.my big brother,mathew just moved to california,and left me with this crazy man.my mom died when i was 7 years old of cancer,so i havent had a mom for ten years now i guess,idk i dont keep up with the years,its too painful.so yeh the reason why i am writing this is because if i dont make it through all this i would love to have an existing written journal of my life,just to prove tht i exist.so my dad hates me cus im emo and he doesnt reely like the fact tht im emo and i dont listen to him.He wont let dylan come over.and dylan is like my bestest bestest friend ever.Hes the only one i can reely trust rite now.ughhhhh im so confused.and school doesnt help.every day i get beat up and teased.im failing school because i cant sleep at night,i cant go get my medicine for tht bipolar sht tht i have and soo im going crazy.ughhh.what would you say if i said i was gonna kill myself.no lie.im not just talking bout it.i have been suicidal for a long time now.my dads slutty gf wont shut up.she tells me tht i should join a sports team.im not in to sports,i cant play good at all.i just got off of using marijuana and ive done moved to heroin.ohhh i love the feeling it ives me.its undescribable.and i know tht Charles dont care(my dad) if i die alone.i guess thts what is meant for me.to die alone.take my life.so i wont have to be here as some ugly thing that just takes up space on this earth.and im sorry i exist.