LAZERGUNSOMGPEWPEWPEW
First off, I need to apologize for providing the opportunity to be misinterpreted with my last post...entry...thing.
It wasn't meant to be a brief rant on my diappointment in the political system - that I'm over. I was just bitching that I got called in to get called in to sit in a room and wait to get called in... Anyway, I'm on a jury now and it's really not that bad. It's exposure to the legal system that interested me quite a bit in school, and it's kind of given me a little spark of inspiration for the first time in quite a long while.
Also, I ran into another older woman for whom I've got the hots. I haven't decided if my adventures with women 25 and older is good for me or really really unhealthy - but either way, I'm kind of enjoying it. This girl's a mom, too. Again, I haven't decided if that's kind of hot or if it should be making me...you know...come to my senses and run away or something. But, once again, it's fun...so meh.
I'm pretty sure it's illegal to do so, but my boss is considering firing me since I (sort of made it obvious that I was going to) actively seek out the opportunity to take part in my American Duty of being a part of a fair and impartial jury trial. But...I could care less if I get fired. Like I said, I'm somewhat inspired for the first time in I almost can't remember how long, and I'd like to think that I have the ability to hold on to that bit of inspiration long enough to make something out of it. What I mean is that I'll soak in this learning experience as much as I can and use it as reasoning to justify my dreams of seeking a career and life in Law - not law practice, although I've always believed (partially because of so many people telling me) that I'd be a great lawyer - but in law enforcement.
I talked with my brother for a while when he was down here...we were dicsussing some options for my future - being a cop was the one that he seemed to have the most visible approval for (although he kind of dug the prospect of me being a bartender, as well). That meant a lot because my brother's opinion has always been one that I've valued almost immeasurably. He's a pretty amazing dude, and he's the kind of guy who's got a lot to say when it comes to future and life paths...even if he'd tell you otherwise. And I was talking a bit with my pops the other day about it, and it also seemed like a good idea to him. Getting that kind of positive feedback and stuff from the only two male family members that have ever mattered in my life was a shot in the arm for me.
It also seems that there couldn't be much of a better time and/or place for me to take interest in the idea than here and now. Trying out for the Oakland Police Academy is (if you want to take the optimist's point of view) a great start. If you can be a cop here, you'd get more action in two or three years on the beat than you would as an officer anywhere else...with the obvious exceptions of LA, NY and maybe vegas. That's good because A) it weeds out the people for whom it simply isn't the right career choice and B) if you've got OPD on your resume, you shouldn't have a hard time finding a law enforcement job anywhere else in the country. And although I've never really liked the idea of relocating out of the only place I've ever felt comfortable in my life, I also have come to terms that I simply cannot afford the cost of living in the bay area, even with a set career. So an open transfer position sounds cool in my book.
Other rationale? It's a social job - that's definately something I need. It's active - something to keep me out of the house and in good shape. It's honorable (in the eyes of some), in that it carries with it a sense of duty and discipline...which are also things that I've felt would be neccessities to keep me happy in the long run. And really, being a cop is the slightly safer alternative to being a marine or jar-head like I dreamt about in a somewhat subtle fashion as a kid as well as a young adult. And the one part I've dreaded most about either is the extremists of rule and perfect order ("Spin shine those soldier!" "You think that's funny, maggot?"). I like a set style of living - I just like to bend the rules and test my limits a little more. But really, who'd fit the role better than I? I'm faithful, but not religious. I'm rough, but not violent. I'm strict, but not serious. I'm a moral idealist, but not a mormon or nazi freak!
Also, I think the man in uniform thing could do wonders for my whole self-esteem problem thing. wewt!
No, but seriously...It's something to take into very serious consideration for the next three or four weeks while I slowly try to turn that spark of motivation into a steady flame of inspired decision.
On a side note: nerf books - too interesting.
EDIT: also... http://www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/m/p/mpb207/photos/oakland05/
those are some shots my bro took when he came to town and we went to great america a couple weeks ago.
my pops is in the grey shirt, bro in the hawaiian and me in the green lantern tee.
It wasn't meant to be a brief rant on my diappointment in the political system - that I'm over. I was just bitching that I got called in to get called in to sit in a room and wait to get called in... Anyway, I'm on a jury now and it's really not that bad. It's exposure to the legal system that interested me quite a bit in school, and it's kind of given me a little spark of inspiration for the first time in quite a long while.
Also, I ran into another older woman for whom I've got the hots. I haven't decided if my adventures with women 25 and older is good for me or really really unhealthy - but either way, I'm kind of enjoying it. This girl's a mom, too. Again, I haven't decided if that's kind of hot or if it should be making me...you know...come to my senses and run away or something. But, once again, it's fun...so meh.
I'm pretty sure it's illegal to do so, but my boss is considering firing me since I (sort of made it obvious that I was going to) actively seek out the opportunity to take part in my American Duty of being a part of a fair and impartial jury trial. But...I could care less if I get fired. Like I said, I'm somewhat inspired for the first time in I almost can't remember how long, and I'd like to think that I have the ability to hold on to that bit of inspiration long enough to make something out of it. What I mean is that I'll soak in this learning experience as much as I can and use it as reasoning to justify my dreams of seeking a career and life in Law - not law practice, although I've always believed (partially because of so many people telling me) that I'd be a great lawyer - but in law enforcement.
I talked with my brother for a while when he was down here...we were dicsussing some options for my future - being a cop was the one that he seemed to have the most visible approval for (although he kind of dug the prospect of me being a bartender, as well). That meant a lot because my brother's opinion has always been one that I've valued almost immeasurably. He's a pretty amazing dude, and he's the kind of guy who's got a lot to say when it comes to future and life paths...even if he'd tell you otherwise. And I was talking a bit with my pops the other day about it, and it also seemed like a good idea to him. Getting that kind of positive feedback and stuff from the only two male family members that have ever mattered in my life was a shot in the arm for me.
It also seems that there couldn't be much of a better time and/or place for me to take interest in the idea than here and now. Trying out for the Oakland Police Academy is (if you want to take the optimist's point of view) a great start. If you can be a cop here, you'd get more action in two or three years on the beat than you would as an officer anywhere else...with the obvious exceptions of LA, NY and maybe vegas. That's good because A) it weeds out the people for whom it simply isn't the right career choice and B) if you've got OPD on your resume, you shouldn't have a hard time finding a law enforcement job anywhere else in the country. And although I've never really liked the idea of relocating out of the only place I've ever felt comfortable in my life, I also have come to terms that I simply cannot afford the cost of living in the bay area, even with a set career. So an open transfer position sounds cool in my book.
Other rationale? It's a social job - that's definately something I need. It's active - something to keep me out of the house and in good shape. It's honorable (in the eyes of some), in that it carries with it a sense of duty and discipline...which are also things that I've felt would be neccessities to keep me happy in the long run. And really, being a cop is the slightly safer alternative to being a marine or jar-head like I dreamt about in a somewhat subtle fashion as a kid as well as a young adult. And the one part I've dreaded most about either is the extremists of rule and perfect order ("Spin shine those soldier!" "You think that's funny, maggot?"). I like a set style of living - I just like to bend the rules and test my limits a little more. But really, who'd fit the role better than I? I'm faithful, but not religious. I'm rough, but not violent. I'm strict, but not serious. I'm a moral idealist, but not a mormon or nazi freak!
Also, I think the man in uniform thing could do wonders for my whole self-esteem problem thing. wewt!
No, but seriously...It's something to take into very serious consideration for the next three or four weeks while I slowly try to turn that spark of motivation into a steady flame of inspired decision.
On a side note: nerf books - too interesting.
EDIT: also... http://www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/m/p/mpb207/photos/oakland05/
those are some shots my bro took when he came to town and we went to great america a couple weeks ago.
my pops is in the grey shirt, bro in the hawaiian and me in the green lantern tee.