I hope she knows I cried all night
So I just made what feels like a life ending mistake. I have to read chapters 1-20 in the color of water, no problem... well I later found out that we also have to write a 1 page summary of every chapter AND pick a quote from each chapter and write a whole other page on how it pertains to the book and what I feel about it and what not. Ive been working fairly hard (with some exceptions) and it takes about 1 hour per chapter for both pages. This is probably a little longer than it would if I got down and just did it to get it out of the way and it probably takes a little longer becuse now I have to REread it a bit to remember exactly what happened when. I attempted to save chapter 10 and copied over chapter 9 by accident. I want to kill myself. This is due tomarrow morning at 9:30 there is absolutly no way I can finish unless its completly horrible, I mean that one hour isnt going to make it or break it or anything by all means, its just that now Im being completly negative about the whole thing. I think Im just going to throw it together just to give her something.
The stress has been killing me lately, noone has a word of confidence in me or any postitve reinforcement. I feel like Josh sees school as something that just gets in between us and he constantly tells me to quit when I say I cant handel it. It kinda makes me want to continue on just to say yeah I can do it and it kinda ruines my day that hes so easily saying then be done with it.
My mom tells me that Im over reacting, that its not as hard to juggle school, work, paying the bills, attepmting to maintain a relationship with Josh and time for myself and whatnot. I wish she would go to school so I can say see its harder than you think to do everything but she says she doesnt have time. Point and case.
My aunt sue (who I have always hateed) said after we talked about school she thought it was really great that I WANTED to learn and WANTED to do good and WASNT looking for short cuts, she thought it was very admerable and hard to come by. My uncle frank (who ive always had a likeing for) said that he could try to help me out and see if he can get me a laptop for fairly cheep so that I can do homework between school and work. I think its funny they both of them have very little impact on my life and say such good things to me and the people that matter most tell me what I dont want to hear. Maybe its because both of them went to college and know what its like.
I think Im going to consider taking time off of life and going away to college. Somewhere noone will be around to talk me down or laugh in my face. Some where I can lock myself in a closet and do nothing but school because here just isnt working out.
The stress has been killing me lately, noone has a word of confidence in me or any postitve reinforcement. I feel like Josh sees school as something that just gets in between us and he constantly tells me to quit when I say I cant handel it. It kinda makes me want to continue on just to say yeah I can do it and it kinda ruines my day that hes so easily saying then be done with it.
My mom tells me that Im over reacting, that its not as hard to juggle school, work, paying the bills, attepmting to maintain a relationship with Josh and time for myself and whatnot. I wish she would go to school so I can say see its harder than you think to do everything but she says she doesnt have time. Point and case.
My aunt sue (who I have always hateed) said after we talked about school she thought it was really great that I WANTED to learn and WANTED to do good and WASNT looking for short cuts, she thought it was very admerable and hard to come by. My uncle frank (who ive always had a likeing for) said that he could try to help me out and see if he can get me a laptop for fairly cheep so that I can do homework between school and work. I think its funny they both of them have very little impact on my life and say such good things to me and the people that matter most tell me what I dont want to hear. Maybe its because both of them went to college and know what its like.
I think Im going to consider taking time off of life and going away to college. Somewhere noone will be around to talk me down or laugh in my face. Some where I can lock myself in a closet and do nothing but school because here just isnt working out.